Need advice

upvotersfortruth · 2025-07-31T06:56:32+00:00

Is it wrong if I ask her to live with me and we just sleep in separate rooms after the divorce?

Yes.

OP, from this day forward, you do not show her any emotion, positive or negative. You don't seek reassurance from her or any recognition. You stand tall and march forward.

Change all passwords and log out of any shared devices.
Secure all of your personal items and documents in a locked space.
Move yourself into the separate room and put a lock on the door. (others will tell you to make her move if she's asking for the divorce, but whatever, there's no need to mark your territory)
Spend as much time as you can with your son and document the work that you do. Everynight before bed, keep a journal.
Go meet with at least three lawyers, then choose one and hire them.
Find a babysitter and arrange a meeting with her at a public place to work out the terms of the divorce, after you have seen a lawyer. If you cannot do this without breaking down or getting angry, then do everything by email.
Do not message her, call her, do anything regarding anything except the kid and the process of the divorce. If she wants it then she should file, and she should file as soon as possible. Don't ask the "why" questions or seek her reasons.
You do not "ask" you act. You want to take your son to the park, take him, inform her. Don't ask. You want to go out with your buddies, you go and don't inform. If she asks, not her business. Take all the time you can with your kid.
Assemble your team, family and friends. Lean on them for whatever you need and what they're willing to give. You need them and you're not alone.
If she creates any conflict, you do not engage and start recording on your phone immediately.

If you undertake all of these steps:

She may realize what she's losing and want to reconcile, at which point you will need more advice on what to do.
She will realize that she shouldn't fuck with you, or custody or anything in the divorce because you are prepared and serious.
She will respect you in at least one aspect.

Stand tall and march forward. Begging to stay together will turn you into a henpecked shell of a man, if she even entertains it. If you reconcile on that basis, divorce is all but certain in years 5-7.

Title	Need advice
Author	Wild-Mind1201
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	July 30, 2025 11:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mdmb1s/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-advice.1558533 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558533

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