How do I cure deep psychological issues?

Johnny10toes · 2015-11-03T18:32:25+00:00

See a therapist. I look stuff up myself but whatever I do is on me. This is asking for help that a professional should be giving you.

kingofpoplives · 2015-11-03T18:11:49+00:00

Meditation

jsalathe · 2015-11-03T18:33:31+00:00

It sucks, but mindfulness has helped me a lot with similar problems where traditional therapy has failed.

This involves consciously acknowledging you have low self esteem and allowing that knowledge to mitigate the symptoms of low self esteem. Also, forgive yourself for your imperfections. If you look at it from a neutral perspective you will rationally find you are a worthy man.

Handle unhealthy competitiveness in the same way. Be mindful that you have this negative attribute and when you notice yourself being competitive, decide whether it is valuable to you or not in that moment and stop it if it is not valuable.

You are probably looking for some short cut, but in my experience it does not exist.

kabylewolf · 2015-11-03T20:27:38+00:00

Learn to harness this issue for the best.

For example, I'm outrageously greedy, self centered, competitive and just a giant douche. And I can't and don't even bother trying to hide it as opposed to what many people do.

I took my flaw of being greedy and am addicted to growing my money, staying sharp about how to make more money and as a result have a fairly successful investment account as well as just generally having a nose for where the money is.

I'm self centered as shit. I don't mask it. I just tie it together with humor and its disarming. It works.

My competitiveness is likely one of the tougher things people can learn to harness. You just need to direct it towards something beneficial. Yeah med school is cool and all and I say go for it. But focus on something masculine, something with a new level of stimiulation as an outlet. For example I race cars/baja trucks, or try martial arts. I used to do that and my sheer competitive willpower got me competitive as opposed to developing my skill. Which would later bite me in the ass. I even turn my competitiveness to a joke. I'll constantly tell whatever girl I'm with "yeah my buddy is building his new car and it's sick but I'm just gonna dedicate a shitload of time to mine because I'm shallow and competitive and I can't stand if he beats me. Because I'm fragile, like a peach inside and I'd probably consider jumping off a bridge."

And my douchiness I've turned into humor as well. After years of figuring it out, I've turned what was a standoffish character flaw into a charming endearing quality.

You'll learn. Just adjust and analyze and adjust again. You'll figure it out.

[deleted] · 2015-11-04T00:28:27+00:00

4 grams of psilocybe cubensis mushrooms.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2015-11-04T02:24:11+00:00

The two scripts you're running here are 1) "if I fail/lose I'll be shamed, judged and rejected by everyone." 2) "If I fail, it means I'm repulsive and unworthy."

You need to replace these Self-Limiting Beliefs about failure, with self-enabling ones. For example "failure is great because it I can use it to create new strategies. Because I failed I'm a stronger, wiser person." The antidote to the shame you feel about failing, is the Abundance trait of Gratitude. I think that's one of the hardest parts of moving from a scarcity mentality to an abundance mentality, replacing shame with gratitude about past events.

There is where the mindfulness and meditation that other posters have mentioned comes in.

I think your compulsive competitiveness and over-functioning in your work habits are about avoiding vulnerability.

I think you also have some clinical anxiety issues, so being a workaholic is partly a defensive mechanism for your anxieties. One of the things anxiety does is make the mechanisms that produce shame overactive. So you feel an inappropriate sense of shame about past failures or ways you've been criticized in the past. This is of course made worse by your father's extreme pettiness.

I think your should talk to a psychiatrist about your anxiety in particular. This is a legitimate brain disorder, not generally something you can simply re-think or meditate your way out of. It rarely improves without asking for professional help.

Title	How do I cure deep psychological issues?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	6
Date	November 3, 2015 6:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rdrhw/how_do_i_cure_deep_psychological_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-cure-deep-psychological-issues.156041 https://theredarchive.com/post/156041

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