How to escalate things? (Failed to close a date)

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-25T22:40:10+00:00

First problem: You acted friendly and suggested a friendly hangout. Why is this a problem? Because you were dishonest, and manipulative. WOW, isn't that a big accusation i just made?

Well, you've been manipulative, not out of malice, but out of self-preservation. Instead of being authentic and honest and real with her with what you wanted, you decided that your truth was something to repress and hide out of fear. Either because you think she would have rejected you or laugh at you.

So instead, you tried to do be sneaky and dishonest pretending that "no i swear my intentions are just friendship"... Because you think somehow women are stupid and that they can't feel your ulterior motives. Because the problem is not that you like her or want to explore potential romance, the problem is that you hide it and she knows it.

- I didn't said "date" because her family is strict kind of and most girls rarely go out in "dates". Friendly hangout sounds bit better.

See? you have normalized so much the idea that in order to get what you want you have to lie and pretend, and leading her on to believe you want something when in reality you want something else, that you think this is ok?

You: "Oh her aprents are strict and don't allow dates, so then i have to lie and tell her it's not a date, but a friendly hagnout... that way her parents cannot be mad and she cannot use the excuse!! hehe im so clever."

Her: "you actually think i don't see see what you are doing, that i don't feel your ulterior motive?"

You are acting like a dishonest politician when you do that. because a politician wants your vote, the politician will not usually say what he genuinely belives in or thinks, because that might cause him votes specially if the issue is divisibe or controversial among his voter base.

So instead, he tells one side what he wants to hear, and the other side what they also want to hear whcih happens to be the oposite, and if the politican knows he will get caught, then instead he just says something neutral that both sides can agree on but which at the same time sounds like he is deflecting and not really showing his true stance.

This is what you do with this girl, because you think you are so clever that she wouldn't notice, but that's why she asked you "why", she was inviting you to be honest with what you really wanted. Now this doesn't mean she would have accepted, but at least she would have respected you for being real instead of fake.

Whenever you try to be dishonest and sneaky and manipualtive trying to secure an outcome by being willing to say whatever it takes to get that outcome, you will always tend to turn off women, because yes they can feel it, because your behaviour is not congruent.

jjbinks4 · 2025-08-25T19:16:24+00:00

I think your mistake was playing it friendly, and suggesting a friendly hangout

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-08-25T19:36:19+00:00

What usually works for me is just saying I’ll be at this coffee shop at this time, and if she’s free I’ll swing by and we’ll go together. That way it comes off as something I normally do, and she just adapts to the plan. And if she says no, it’s no big deal because I was going anyway

Most-Famous-Wasabi · 2025-08-26T00:16:38+00:00

>> She asked me why, I said just a friendly hangout.

Why be inauthentic?

Next time a woman asks this, just be straight up.

Title	How to escalate things? (Failed to close a date)
Author	underskore69
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	August 25, 2025 7:12 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mzzose/how_to_escalate_things_failed_to_close_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-escalate-things-failed-to-close-a-date.1560470 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560470

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