I (35M) am trying not to lose my close friend (33M) to the manosphere after a troubling breakup.

thebreadierpitt · 2025-09-09T18:44:49+00:00

Care to elaborate a bit more about the situation?

ooa3603 · 2025-09-09T18:57:09+00:00

Without further details my advice will be limited but here's what I can say:

Everyone needs an ego for self-esteem, and egos need reassurance/validation from both internal (inner drives, likes and motivations, etc) and external (achievements, relationships, etc) sources.

When your ego is getting a good supply and balance of both sources, it is deemed healthy because your self-esteem has multiple and varied sources to get reassurance and validation. When your ego is not getting much validation, or it gets it from only a few external sources, you usually become insecure, fearful and anxious.

In addition, your belief-system and values will determine which internal and external sources you prioritize and invest time and energy in.

The manosphere is attractive because it provides a consistent drip of messaging that validates the ego in the ways those egos value.

So the problem is twofold:

Your friend has a belief-system that prioritizes enough of the values that the manosphere values and
His self esteem is low because he is not getting enough varied validation to his ego. It's likely his relationship was a huge source of his ego validation.

The solution then is to get your friend to:

Interrogate and introspect on his belief-system and values. What does he believe to be true about manhood and what does he think makes a man valuable? What does he believe to be true about women? Why are those things important? Is it because he's accepted their importance from society? Actual evidence/science? Religion?
Add other sources of ego validation. If he only has a few friends he needs to get involved in activities where he can build relationships with more people. Some form of physical activity for his own physical development if he hasn't already.

Basically, if you are a man whose ego gets its validation from healthy sources like, close friendships with both men and women, varied Interests and you understand that women aren't your enemy; the manosphere is not an attractive ideology, you see it for what it is: a group of bitter men who don't want to take accountability for their own lives.

Title	I (35M) am trying not to lose my close friend (33M) to the manosphere after a troubling breakup.
Author	Odimorsus
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	September 9, 2025 6:28 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ncqv3o/i_35m_am_trying_not_to_lose_my_close_friend_33m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-35m-am-trying-not-to-lose-my-close-friend-33m-to.1561647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561647

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