In the process of filing and obtaining a separation agreement (possibly a DVPO if I can get one based of my situation). Currently still living together (I absolutely am not vacating the home although I do travel for work for sometimes weeks at a time which is going to make this whole thing tricky with child custody).

When I’m home I’m basically only communicating with my wife if it concerns our daughter (toddler aged) and things like school or whatever related to her. Other than that I give my wife zero touch, zero verbal affection, zero concern for what she is doing and I give her zero explanation for what I’m doing unless it concerns our daughter and me going somewhere with her or whatever.

When I travel for work I do text my STBXW but only to get a few updates about my daughter daily. I try to face time my daughter about twice a day to let her see my face and tell her that “daddy’s at work, I love you and I will be back soon” so she knows I’m not just leaving her.

I’ve had to leave for work her entire life so she understands that I do this which I think will actually help during our separation in her younger years. It’s normal for daddy to be away at work and come back and normal for mommy to “have to go to work” when she goes to her 9-5 and I’m on dad duty getting her ready for school in the mornings and picking her up from school and caring for her until my wife gets home.

Before I decided to leave I was much more communicative about checking in and face timing my daughter as much as possible but now I’m trying to basically prepare myself to get near zero contact with her if my wife is able to fight for 50/50 custody. (I’m honestly thinking after I present my evidence that she may not get 50/50 the way she has acted but I know that’s a huge maybe and itl probably be 50/50….if the roles were reversed I’d probably be lucky to see my kid again)

I plan on getting an Au pair/nanny and letting my family help take care of her when it’s “my time to have custody” and I’m away on work because I don’t want to play that “I owe you days or you owe me days of custody” crap if one of us has her longer than the other.

Am I doing this right? It’s hard as hell not constantly checking in on my daughter via my wife and asking questions about what my wife and her are doing all day while I’m gone but it seems to be my soon to be reality so trying to prepare for it.