Having been in and out of academia for a while now, and having been in long-term relationships with a number of queer women in academia, I've witnessed firsthand the staggering amount of oftentimes explosive drama that goes on behind the scenes.

It goes way beyond the cliched "Humbert Humbert" middle-aged Lit professor with leather elbow patches making an embarrassing drunken pass at a student- we're talking stalking, assaults, vendettas, lesbian/trans love triangles with staff/students, lesbian/trans love rectangles with staff/students, lesbian/trans love octagons with staff/students.

Eternal love, eternal damnation, back to eternal love, and a promise to fix the smashed windshield all happen in the same business day.

My question is, how is this all kept under wraps? Is there some kind of fundamental self-preservative beehive-type intinct that mandates everything is taken care of in-house? "What happens in Oberlin stays in Oberlin"? So that word of this never, ever reaches the outside world? Lest we lose our 400 billion endowment?

I mean, for real, is there some kind of 'Eyes Wide Shut' induction ceremony where every Women's Studies and Sociology professor is sworn by blood oath into a secret society that goes way deeper than the Skull&Bones and Freemasons?