Married 19.5 years.

Long history of her work struggles but she’s always worked.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago (surgery, radiation, endocrine therapy that maybe is the basis for some of this?, stopped the endocrine), diagnosed and finally treated (3 months so far) for severe sleep apnea (107 ahi), also has a meningioma in a place that isn’t possible to remove it all (against brain stem, carotid artery), but not cancerous.

We have a 10 year old daughter that I love very much. I do everything with her and have done a ton of single parenting so wife can heal, have alone time, complete her PhD, and more. She got a new job ~2 years ago ($100k).

1.5 years ago she began to show signs of more severe emotional dysregulation. I’m not a doctor obviously, but it got worse over the last year. Shows some signs of improvement since CPAP, but still happens frequently.

It’s been years of this or that, and I finally had to start taking some Rx for anxiety disorder. I’ve been in therapy weekly just over 2 years.

It feels like she loves me for being useful but doesn’t really like me. Hard to like her after all this.

In one of her more severe bouts, she got on AI and ended up with the idea to divorce. She doesn’t want to tell anyone that. That was 3.5 months ago, right before CPAP.

TLDR - her work and health and mental health issues have worn me down to seeing no other way out than divorce. Since I’m everything to all 3 of us and maintain every aspect of everything (finances, cars, house, schedules), I’d hope to get most/full custody and buy her out of the house. We are in Colorado.

Any advice or support appreciated.