i don’t know how to flirt

Nghthvn · 2026-01-07T04:06:10+00:00

I used to have the same kinds of problems. Flirting can become really effortless once you implement some small changes.

First, you have to think and feel the right way. Meaning #1 you have to believe that you are enough no matter what you have or don’t have, And #2 you have to be in a relaxed state where you are not dependent on getting any outcome.

So for the actual flirting - the essence of it is self-amusement. If you can self amuse and make yourself laugh - I promise you’ll be good at flirting. Don’t worry about making the girl laugh, if you do you’ll come off like you’re trying to be funny like a jester. You have to be in contact with what you like and what you think is funny, and then say and talk about those things with a lowered filter. If you can make yourself laugh you will make her laugh.

Next in terms of actual things you can say to her, think in terms of framing. The frame you need to have is that you’re a cool guy that she wants to be with. From this, you can disqualify and tease her. This means don’t give yourself away too easily, lightly make fun of her in a way that is not offensive but kind of pushes the envelope a bit.

The final thing you need to know about is insinuation. If you learn the art of insinuation you are gold. This is the art of making a statement that indirectly communicates an idea without making it obvious. Insinuate that she’s the one interested in you, not the other way around. Insinuate that she may not be what you’re interested in. And then insinuate that you find her interesting. Back and forth, as long as you’re not overthinking and amusing yourself - you’ll be good.

Andrea-Amilcare · 2026-01-08T06:08:07+00:00

Forget all the theoritical mumbo jumbo, flirting pretty much boils down to "be a challenge". Don't be a head nodding simp to whatever a woman tells you, challenge, tease her, contradict her, annoy her, etc.

Here's the easiest way to go about it, the next time you interact with a woman, go out of your way to contradict everything she says at the start of the conversation. If she loves chinese food, you hate it. If she hates Taylor Swift, she's your favorite singer ever. This will create tension, get some good banter going and it will make you stand out.

Stop2Smile · 2026-01-07T01:07:26+00:00

To be honest I don’t even know I’m really doing it… Flirting is such a weird word.

TJSociall · 2026-01-07T08:12:25+00:00

If you look at the skill of making an interaction man to woman aka flirting as a spectrum you lie on the absolute opposite end of what can be considered as making an interaction too man to woman i.e. flirting too much.

So you need to go hard on the absolute far end of flirting like a retard. So that you fail enough time for your physiology to calibrate to the point when you are making an interaction man to woman in a well balanced manner.

You can't learn to calibrate well if you haven't experienced being uncalibrated retard with flirting. You can find enough ways to make an interaction man to woman verbally on the internet all I can say is that if verbally doing this is super hard for you.

Go physical i.e. run physical escalations i.e. kino and also try to logistically escalate i.e. bouncing from cafe to the place where you can have sex with her.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-01-07T16:41:56+00:00

Here's three very easy ways to flirt.

1. Compliment.

I usually try to pick out something specific and intentional that they've done with their appearance. IE "Your hair is beautiful", "Your outfit is cute", "Your make up is gorgeous", "You have such a great smile". Most women are pretty insecure about their looks and put a lot of effort into it, so even these small compliments can do a lot.

2. Make Her Laugh

Humor. Pretty much all women value this

3. Use Touch

Start with innocuous touch like the shoulder or the top of her back. Gauge her reaction and either back off or proceed accordingly.

Mind State Advice

In my experience flirting has a lot to do with reinforcing her confidence. Even the hottest women can still be so insecure about the tiniest things like their nose or a hair out of place.

You complimenting them, making them feel desired makes them feel more confident to flirt back and be romantic/sexual with you. If you don't flirt many will assume you're not interested and may blame themselves for being unattractive.

So in a sense, you are validating and giving them reassurance by flirting. Thinking of it this way can take some of the pressure off if you're just focused on yourself and being perceived as a creep or fearing rejection.

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-01-07T04:57:45+00:00

There are thousands of guides on how to flirt. Try watching/reading them.

You start subtle and gradually escalate to avoid making people overly uncomfortable. As long as you know how to take a hint and leave someone alone after they show disinterest in your flirting, youre fine.

Title	i don’t know how to flirt
Author	Psychological_Loss86
Upvotes	11
Comments	7
Date	January 7, 2026 1:00 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q612fk/i_dont_know_how_to_flirt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-know-how-to-flirt.1570607 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570607

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