I am 40M. My wife is 43F. We have been married 14 years and have three children. We still live together and, from the outside, everything looks stable.

Over the past year there has been a noticeable emotional shift.

Affection has mostly stopped. I never hear “I love you.” Physical intimacy has faded to almost nothing. Terms of endearment that were normal for years have disappeared. Daily texting during work, which we did consistently for over a decade, has stopped.

There is also more independence and less shared detail about her life. When I raise how I feel, she says she wants the marriage to work. But I do not see consistent effort behind that. No initiative for counselling. No clear behavioural changes. I feel like I am the one who has been initiating conversations and repair.

I am emotionally tired from chasing reassurance. I have started to detach internally.

Finances are fully joint and currently tight. We have cancelled plans due to money, yet there are still social events and trips being planned. That creates resentment on my side.

We have not discussed separation yet. From her perspective, we are still together and functioning.

I am considering proposing a structured three month trial separation with clear financial boundaries and counselling. My aim would be clarity rather than drifting like this indefinitely.

My specific questions:

1.  Has anyone experienced a year of emotional distance like this and successfully rebuilt the marriage? What actually changed?  2.  Does a structured trial separation tend to help repair, or does it usually confirm that the relationship is already over?  3.  How do you tell the difference between a long term rough patch and a quiet emotional exit?

I am trying to be objective and not reactive. I would value grounded input from people who have been through something similar.

TL;DR: 40M married 14 years to 43F. Over the past year affection, intimacy and daily communication have faded. She says she wants the marriage to work but shows little action. Finances are tight and resentment is building. Considering proposing a structured trial separation for clarity. Is this repairable or am I accepting something that has already ended?