Been married 19 years, have two boys with her, ages 18 and 14. We live together, but have been in separate bedrooms since October when I told her then I wanted a divorce. She begged me to stay, so I did with conditions. However, shes fully aware that wasnt a cure all or meant to last. It was so we could each get into individual therapy and try to work on us one last time. We had just finished up couples therapy at that point to no avail. Things have just deteriorated between us for the last couple years, not to mention all the other issues we've had during our marriage (living parallel lives, angry outbursts [hers] and always being made to feel like im the issue and need to be the one to make changes).

It came so easily (tho not lightly) in October, but now I have a visceral fear of bringing it up to her. Any recommendations on how to get this conversation started?