Question.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-03-01T18:57:08+00:00

I was blindsided. She never said anything when she was thinking about leaving and never wanted to work on our relationship as hard as I tried to convince her to.

Since then I have talked with several people that have been married longer than I have. Every one of them could cite hard times in their relationships. But the difference is that they worked through it.

Bonsai-ninja · 2026-02-23T05:15:02+00:00

I'm coming from a marriage that had no abuse involved. My Wife and I fought probably quarterly. We would say our sorrys (almost always just me) and make up. The problem I believe is that Men are more willing to suffer through the worst because of who we are. I loved my Wife so much despite our arguments and fights. My love for her out weighed any BS we went through.

For Woman, especially in today's society, I think they need happiness way more often than not. I can say with honesty that I was content with my marriage. Not happy all the time but I was ok with that because when we were both in sync it was amazing. I think with social media and jaded friends, Wives end up thinking that if they don't have butterflies all the time then it isn't a good marriage and they can do better. I'm no psychologist so I may be way off here.

The part about Men being blindsided was an eye opener for me too. The more and more I read I see that Woman prepare themselves for the exit waaaay before they drop it on us. They typically monkey-branch too (my case) so it's much easier for them to leave it all behind. The Men this happens to end up having the rug pulled out from under them and left feeling gutted and helpless. It's a terrible feeling and everytime I see someone post here about it I think back to the first couple months of my divorce and how it felt.

I think the worst part for most of us is we wrapped our identity into being husbands, providers and protectors. When that identity has suddenly been removed from you it feels like a part of you died and in my case made me feel worthless. I don't wish this on any Man. 19 years of my marriage flushed down the pipe and I'll probably suffer heavily financially. My Wife will be better off with half my pension and an AP that she's fallen for. It sucks but this is the world we live in.

Good luck out there fellas.

Title	Question.
Author	Puzzleheaded-Way3522
Upvotes	3
Comments	2
Date	February 22, 2026 7:00 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rbu966/question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question.1574063 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574063

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