I’m 38, living in Singapore, running a small business, and my divorce will be finalized in about two weeks.

We have two young kids and we will be co-parenting. The process has been going on for a while, but now that the end is near it feels like it’s finally hitting me.

I’m trying to prepare myself for what life looks like after this. Housing, routines with the kids, work, everything feels like it’s about to change at once. And honestly, I am feeling so afraid..

What surprised me recently is how much I’ve been withdrawing from people. I used to be quite social, but lately I avoid meeting friends because I feel like I bring negative energy when I show up.

My habits also slipped a bit .. I am smoking more, drinking more, stopped exercising. I know it’s not helping but motivation is low these days.

Financially and work-wise I’m still functioning, but internally it feels like my identity is shifting in ways I didn’t expect.

For those who have gone through divorce with kids around this age, what was the period right after the divorce like for you?

What helped you rebuild your routine and sense of self?