Hi,

I posted a few weeks ago, when I just signed the divorce papers.

I thought I should post an update.

I left the country, moved to a new place, rented a new condo. I don’t know anyone here and at times, this bothers me a lot. I thought I could form a new friendship but it feels incongruent so that’s that.

The hardest part is the solitude. Nobody calls me. Nobody asks me how I am. Nobody is interested in my well-being. I miss her for this part the most. 

I don’t know what she’s doing with her life right now. Maybe she moved on. Maybe she’s grieving too. But I’m on a “no contact” regime and I think that’s the best thing for both of us.

The hardest part was realizing that this is not a joke. That this is not another fight and that she’ll come back. That she’s gone for good. It’s like going through denial and anger and acceptance several times a day. 

Also, my sex drive is at all times low. I’m surrounded by beautiful women and I couldn’t care less. 

Ugh, divorce sucks.

I’m still considering doing therapy… or not. I feel it’s going to be a waste of time but I’ve kind of exhausted all my avenues for people listening to me, so therapy might be the only place where I can release some bottled up emotions. That and Reddit.

I honestly don’t know how to deal with divorce. I know the theory - go out, exercise, make friends, etc, but it feels like a struggle. I’m lucky that my ex is not a bitch that wanted to ruin my life and that for all intents and purposes, we’ve separated on good terms but still, this sucksss…

I’ve been drinking a lot of wine lately and this helps me sleep. But I know this isn’t a healthy way either.

How should I structure my day?

What activities should I pursue?

I know this… depends but I really wish there was a practical plan to overcome divorce.