Just maybe venting here but if anyone else went through this would be good to hear it calms down.

It feels like she's essentially kept the life structure we spent nearly 20 years building while I'm back to square one. She kept the family home, had the bigger social circle (I realise I'm somewhat to blame here, but I think man Vs woman comes in here too), her family are close by etc. It feels like her life just carried on without me while my life has been blown to pieces.

The weeks I have the kids are just manic, I've got a new job which is demanding, I live further away from the kids schools. The weeks I don't have the kids I'm rebuilding, getting out, meeting new people, joining groups, going to therapy.

I have lots of highs but then moments I feel I'm about to burn out. I still have piles of life admin I need to do and I just don't have time. I could cut stuff out the weeks I don't have the kids but then I feel like I'm wasting time. Maybe some comparison stuff going on and wanting to appear to be doing well.

I guess it will just take time to get into a routine but my god it's hard some days.