I'm about 3 months in now, the catalyst was me finding out she'd been texting a friend of ours secretly, he's married too.

She spent some time thinking but eventually told me she wants a divorce, the usual stuff, loves me but not in love. As time has passed she's now firming up the narrative it's all my fault, all things with truth to them but all things that could have been worked on I feel. She tells me she told me for years, and she did in her way but obviously we didn't see each other. I've definitely got my things to work on but to see how she's crafted me and the relationship to justify this hurts.

Then last night I find this note she's written in a note book "to" him. I guess to get the feelings out, not to actually give to him.

"I watched you for years, knowing I felt like I wanted to be close to you. An unspoken connection I know you felt too. Then we kissed. It sent me wild. For days after I felt your lips on my lips every time I closed my eyes. You sent electricity through my veins. Some me up and brought me back to life in the most incredible way. Like no other feeling I have felt before. That night it was inevitable it's was the moon aligned for us to finally come together. It was organic, natural, fate, destiny, you are my person. I crave you, I yearn for you. Every inch of me, I feel you physically, all the time."

Hurts like hell. How could I compete with those feelings. I realise to some extent affairs are a result of un met needs, but we've done absolutely nothing to try and work at it. All this gone so she can try and find the early relationship spark. All we built, how this will effect the kids.

I'm moving forward but it's hard. Just wanted to vent really.