So the problem today is that if you get married, or have kids, the STATE forces your hand.

Either you have to do deal with divorce (at some point) or you're forced to pay child support.

It gives women ALL the control and they can be VERY abusive here.

My issue is that the state FORCES your role. Imagine if the state forced women to have children?

Yet as a man you're forced to provide financial support for your kids, even if you don't want them!

Granted you can get a prenup but what about child support or when you get a girl pregnant and you're FORCED to provide for the kid you don't want?

OR women the woman is just manipulative, not spending the money on the kids, etc.

So this is my idea. I think this is about 80% baked so feel free to shoot holes in it.

You DO NOT get married.

IF you get her pregnant. Here's what you do.

  • You make sure none of your communications previously are available to prove you're in a relationship. This can be done by using an app like Signal or Whatsapp and turn on disappearing messages.

  • Make sure you DO NOT meet her family or friends or anyone that can testify that you have a relationship with her.

Without the above, she can't legally compel DNA evidence that you're the father.

A judge should, in theory, rule that she hasn't met minimum burden of proof for a DNA test.

(btw, this is just in the US).

Then, you do this, you agree that you will provide for the child financially, and maybe her, but ONLY if she agrees to a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights).

This means you're legally NOT the father and she acknowledges it.

A judge has to agree.

But remember, she has NO leverage on you because she can't get a DNA test done.

After that, you can still keep providing for her and your kids. But remember, it's OPTIONAL.

At this point, it's a fully amicable agreement between you two.

However, you're PAYING for access to your kid.

So if she denies you, just stop paying child support.

The problem I have it, as it stands now, is that the STATE is forcing the situation. We've seen this play out and they are NOT on your side.

My step-brother is currently getting crushed by this.

This way, as a man, you hold all the cards.

In theory anyway. I'm sure there are legal holes in this in some jurisdictions though.

EDIT. There are some loopholes that you have to be careful about, like photos together. But if she "talks about you with her friends" then sometimes that can be enough.