Is the men's health space, really 'fragmenting'?

There's been lots of chatter in the men’s health space recently; as the usual suspects argue over the men's movement 'fragmenting', insisting that it must be recentered on “men's violence against women”, and built around a feminist framework.

But that is simply never going to happen – no matter how many people stamp their feet, throw toys out the pram, and wish it were different.

No.

You cannot expect men and boys to offer full-throated support to a set of divisive political issues, from which they have been actively excluded for generations; and to not understand that only reveals how absurdly out of touch the complainants and writers of these letters have now become.

This space isn't 'fragmented'. It’s just leaving such voices behind, and rightly so.

Men and boys don't want to, and shouldn't have to, play along with this partisan, pantomime style of political discourse – which only seems capable of blaming and shaming masculinity, of erasing male victims from life-saving advocacy, and characterising "men" as part of a tyrannical gender-oppressor class.

Such a voice, centred for too long in this movement, claims to help men and boys, but only as far as it's of service to women and girls.

It's a voice that claims to question stereotypes of masculinity, but never dares challenge its own; that speaks of expanding the conversation, yet only talks in cartoonish slogans, meaningless soundbites, and ideological worldviews that seem more suitable for your Sunday sermon, than they do in the halls of political power.

I saw a leader in this space once give an entire presentation about why it's appropriate to compare men/masculinity to "shit sandwiches"; bending himself into sickening knots to try and justify such an awful perspective.

I mean, who are these people?

The greatest irony I find when reading these letters, is how those writing them insist men must learn to be 'better communicators', despite proving to be dreadful at talking to men themselves.

This, in my view, is the problem when the men's health space is led by psychologists, sociologists, politicians, and other ivory tower academics – they simply do not understand how to communicate effectively.

Instead, such voices become experts on how to alienate most men, turning allies into enemies, all the while shirking any level of self reflection themselves.

That’s right.

Those who so often prescribe the bitter pills of ‘accountability’ to men, are always the first to spit out their own.

And so they write open letters, double down, and blame everyone else instead; incestuously clapped along by a loyal group of disciples, in some of the most blatant examples of ‘the emperor’s new clothes’ that I’ve ever seen.

So, to those writing these letters, my point is –

Over the past five years, men have voted with their feet, and I’m sorry lads, but they didn’t choose you.

Yes, for all your mainstream media appearances, golden handshakes, expensive campaigns, millions of dollars spent, political connections, photo ops, academic awards, TV ads, and fancy conferences; it has hardly resulted in the household awareness I am sure you expected, has it?

Meanwhile, I’ve seen (and played a small part in) the emerging men's movement that has utterly dominated the conversation, that has found a home in the hearts of millions of men, and continues to grow at speed.

It is impossible to ignore how those like Chris Williamson, despite the smears, and starting with nothing more than a shitty webcam at a dining table, has achieved far more than these people, and all their glossy campaigns, in a blink of an eye.

This is because Chris knows how to talk to his audience. He has built his channel on a fundamentally positive view of men and boys, and a thirst for science-backed knowledge, that people are yearning for; and doesn’t bang on about “toxic masculinity”, “the patriarchy”, “male privilege”, "shit sandwiches" etc.

I read a poll recently that found 83% of the British public believe “men and women should be equal in every single way”, and yet despite this, that same poll found only 35% of people identified as "feminists".

That is food for thought for those writing these open letters

83% of people want a product, and despite holding an absolute market monopoly for more than 50 years, only a third of the public have bought yours.

I mean, the job is almost done for you. You've been shooting at fish in a barrel, on your own, for decades, and you've barely caught a few sprats.

Of course, I am not a psychologist or sociologist, or politician, far from it.

Instead I cut my teeth over two decades in the creative industry, helping brands better communicate with 'normal' people through shifts in brand identity, tone of voice, positioning, and strategic approach.

And I promise you, if I had achieved such a dreadful market conversion rate as what I just described, I’d never work again.

The reality is, the vast majority of people don't need to be sold to.

We are already onboard with 'gender equality'; but what we don't like, is the endless gender war, the shaming language, the rigid thinking, the spooky worldviews, the erasure of male victimisation, the misandry, and ivory tower entitlement, that has beleaguered this space for so long.

Men and boys are tired of being cast only as the villain, and never the victim; where masculinity is always a problem to be solved, and never as a strength to be nurtured.

And so it reveals the true problem – the approach – and it is made doubly worse by those who refuse to accept it.

But by all means... keep doing what you’re doing.

Keep rearranging the deckchairs of a sinking ship.

Keep ceding ground to others, and fading further, and further into irrelevance.

Keep writing your open letters, and pointing the finger in all directions other than at yourself.

Keep being silent about male victims of violent women, the legions of teenage boys who have intimate images passed around by their girlfriends; and say nothing about the no less harmful expectations of masculinity that women and girls project onto men.

Keep placing your personal comfort, and career ambitions, ahead of the lives of men.

Carry on calling anyone who speaks to men and boys differently to you; as “problematic”, as “misogynists”, “grifters” or “the manosphere”, it’s not your approval we’re after, and it never has been.

Because, in my view, if you want to play a part in the emerging male-positive conversation, and the exciting era of what happens next, it can only happen upon a foundation of self-reflection, accountability, and change.

That’s it.

That’s the lesson here.