F29 here. I’m realizing I’ve developed a pretty unhealthy mindset around sex and attraction due CC riding back when I was 19, and I’m trying to unpack it honestly instead of pretending it’s not there.

Now I find myself heavily disappointed when someone is either not well-endowed or doesn’t really know how to work with what they have. I try hard not to show it outwardly because I know it’s hurtful and unfair, but internally I immediately lose enthusiasm.

What makes this harder is that the one guy who actually matched both the physical side and had the emotional/intellectual qualities I wanted completely ghosted me after I got emotionally invested. Since then, I feel like my standards and expectations have become even more warped.

Now I genuinely don’t know what I want anymore. I can’t tell whether I’m chasing chemistry, validation, fantasy, or an actual relationship. I also don’t know how to stop setting myself up for disappointment.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of mental spiral around attraction and sex? How do you reset your expectations without forcing yourself to “settle”? Is it time for monk mode?