Long post warning, ignore if you have short-attention span: Here is somethign that i realized through trial and error in relationships that was sabotaging my previous ones cuz i was too dumb to realize and I kinda myself for it.

In a relationship sometimes you have to give in, u cant always get ur way, that's normal and I am not here to say never do what she wants, but many guys, including myself in the past, struggle to understand that it goes both ways, and they cant always give in just to please the wife or preserve the peace and expect to be respected.

The more you chronically try to adapt to fit into a woman’s life the less trust and respect she will have for you. Women need to see that you know what you want clearly, and that you are not just bending yourself constantly 100% of the time to fit in with her, no matter what

If there is something that turns off many women in my experience, is when his partner is constantly saying “whatever you want honey" as his default response to absolutely everything because he thinks ( o i thought) that is what makes a good supporting boyfriend/husband.

Women don’t want to lead a grown man's like she is your mum and you are her child, and by constantly saying that to please her, you are essentially asking her to take the lead all on her own, while you renounce your own agency and hiding your honest thoughts and desires.

Women always respect you more when you say clearly: “this is what i want, come join me” or “no i don’t want that” because that's what a makes you an actual person who is her equal, not a subservient. And even if your negative disappoints them, they’d still respect you more for being clear and honest with her and honest with yourself.

This is why you can't be wishy-washy trying to constantly adapt to anything she wants, for example the question about kids. You can't say “If you want kids i’m fine with that, if you don’t want kids, also fine by me. I'll support you either way”. This is not exactly something a woman would respond well to. For the obvious reason that having kids is one of the biggest decisions of your life, you can’t be wish washy about it as if everything goes. 

They simply cannot trust you if u do that, no matter how many reassurances that you will support her no matter what she chooses. Why? Because your lack of conviction about what you want inevitably raises questions in her about the future.

She will think something along the lines of: "He says he will support me no matter what even though he doesn't seem fully sold on the idea, but that's something he says now, what about when we are not having sex because i feel exhausted for being a mother, what if we argue, what about when he has to make painful sacrifices? what if the feelings fade? what if the baby crying is annoying to him and doesn't let him have any rest, will he still be so supportive? And he will do that for 18 years at least even though he doesn't seem to care whether to have them or not? And he will do so happily? or will he do it more out of obligation because he can't escape his role now? Will he blame me for making the decision for him to have kids for him? Yeah i don't buy that promise".

So, not you can't be that adaptable every single day of your entire relationship. You need to lead your own actions, leading doesn't mean you dictate to her what to do, it simply means you don't let her dictate to you what to do, cuz you are not her child and she is aint your mum, and so you should know what you want and don’t want and being willing to walk away from a relationship that is going in a direction you don’t want or are not sure you want. 

The problem usually comes when the man assumes that his job is to always do anything a woman wants and forgets himself about what he wants, acting as if what he wants is irrelevant because its all about the demands of boss (sorry, i mean his partner), while he just goes along with it.

Does a particular woman want a man who bends to her will? Cool, but then you ask have to ask yourself, do you want to bend to her will? Do you accept the positive ones and the negative consequences of renouncing your own agency and putting it at the hands of her? If so, go ahead and bend to her will, but don't complain when the negative consequences come for refusing to lead your own life. (Little to no sex life, little respect, not being able to do anything without her permission,...etc)

If you are just constantly adapting, well that’s not usually gonna be a good relationship because it will more often than not lead to resentment in you towards her because your needs are never met because they don't actually matter, and contempt from her towards you sooner or later, leading to a loss of respect and attraction that sabotages the entire relationship.

This is why women don't like "mister nice guys", not because being good guy is bad which is what i didn't get back then, but instead because being a nice guy and being good are different things. Being "nice" isn't even a compliment more often than not.

Nice is someone who constantly walks around life trying to avoid conflict, constantly trying to fit in wherever he is, constantly seeking approval from others, constantly adapting to what other people expect of him, constantly keeping the peace, and never showing that he has a spine and a backbone to do what he wants, without caring what other people think. Cannot trust this type of guy