Need tough love and advice

HomelessMilkman · 2026-07-09T11:47:14+00:00

my body physically stops me from going in

It's the physiological consequence of 'perceived threats' - "fight or flight". If you're uncomfortable, you subconsciously tense up to protect yourself - it restricts your breathing to be shallow and it kills the vibe in many ways. You have to decondition the threat response through relaxing and acclimating yourself to these situations.

My brain also struggles to notice if its ok to go in for a kiss

It's the same thing - you're internally distracted through the induced panic. It's being too self-conscious, internally focused, distracted, that you literally can't 'see' what's going on. It's the same reason why guys run out of conversation because they can't observe, they can't see outside themselves.

If you're 'present' and attentive to what's happening externally, it's simple to acknowledge whether she's receptive, engaged, reciprocating, etc. being attractive, charismatic, inspiring that is another conversation.

A friend told me that positive affirmations such as "I go in for the kiss" works. Is that true?

No. It's being relaxed under pressure, that's it. The best thing you can do as far as preparation is to relax under similar social pressure - entraining your nervous system - but there's no amount of affirmation that would make you not recoil under the pressure of the moment.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2026-07-09T03:37:16+00:00

When its the right time you'll know. Forcing it is no good

Title	Need tough love and advice
Author	decal1210
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	July 9, 2026 2:41 AM UTC (4 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1urdmm9/need_tough_love_and_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-tough-love-and-advice.1584581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584581

Comments