This stuff really grinds my gears.

nigglereddit · 2014-06-22T22:55:27+00:00

I used to believe exactly what this guy says. Pretty much to the letter.

I dated on it, fell in love on it and got married on it.

I really, truly believed it. I believed that there was inherent nobility in providing for a woman talking a year off work to raise our child, in paying for everything, in always making sure she got what she wanted without ever expecting or receiving recognition, praise or respect.

I congratulated myself on being a grown man, just as he says. I was a real man, taking my responsibilities seriously.

Then something terrible happened. Thanks in no small part to feminist criticism, I began to read men's rights material. I read it and then I looked around me. I realized that I hadn't had any say in the major things in my life for a long, long time. I listened to my wife's needs when we bought our house. I considered what she wanted first when we bought our car. I supported her in her decision to take a years unpaid maternity leave and I was there for her when she decided that she didn't want to work any more and that she should just quit.

And that's how I told myself the story, just like he does: I listened, I considered, I supported, I was there for her.

But after I read about men's rights, I saw a different man in the mirror. I no longer saw a hero, bravely supporting his woman. I saw a man who lives in a house he didn't choose, who had moved the books he loved into boxes in the garage. Who no longer had space to draw and paint because we "needed it for drying clothes". Who no longer rock climbed because my wife believed I loved it more than her. Who couldn't spend time with friends because he would receive abusive phone calls from his wife. Instead of seeing a strong, brave man, I saw a broke, scared man.

But having lived this man's lie for so long, how can we go back? My wife is absolutely comfortable with being put first every time, with having control of my money and time, with having me clean the house, do the chores and look after our daughter, and she's certainly comfortable with never having to even say thank you or respect me.

And can you blame her? Is it really her fault? Because this man told her that all that was her right. That she should expect it. And it's a pretty pleasant life; she doesn't really have to work, she gets as much money as she likes, in fact her only real problem is that I haven't bought the new house and car she wants or taken her on an expensive holiday this year.

There's no easy way back. If I say that I'm not going to provide whatever she wants any more, you know that this mans voice and all those like him will be right there to tell me I'm selfish and worthless. And how do you think my wife will react when I tell her the gravy train is stopping?

If only I'd never heard messages like this one, life would be so different.

BlindPelican · 2014-06-22T21:31:26+00:00

Trad-con trash.

Is mutual respect and engagement really that much to ask?

TheRealMouseRat · 2014-06-22T22:33:53+00:00

I thought we wanted gender equality in this world now?

M4Strings · 2014-06-22T22:35:49+00:00

Matt Walsh very rarely makes a somewhat decent argument, most of his shit is just incorrect social bull or religious nonsense.

lazernerd · 2014-06-22T22:58:30+00:00

You don't normally hear people suggesting women treat men in this same manner - it's just another double standard.

2014-06-22T23:53:06+00:00

The guy is an utter twat.

2014-06-23T05:27:38+00:00

Gee i didn't know i was back in the 1950s...

Hey guys let's coddle women like a baby because THEY are vulnerable to YOU even tho their risk of injury or death is statistically low.

God forbid she doesn't get a callback from a dude, what rock was this guy under ? Yea there's guys that take advantage but there's women as well, i don't throw manchild out too often but that matt guy fits it.

Title	This stuff really grinds my gears.
Author	FoolyCoolly
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	June 22, 2014 9:18 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/28tj9v/this-stuff-really-grinds-my-gears/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-stuff-really-grinds-my-gears.1618637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1618637

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