When I met my gf one year ago, I was taking a momentary leave from my therapist to focus on some personal goals and make more money. I was invited to a bar with a girl(girl b) I used to have strong feelings for- very attractive, but she had recently started dating a taller more attractive guy than I am. Her older brother and his friend were sitting with us and bought all of our drinks, so girl b and I were having a great time. We collectively decided to go to another bar.

At this point in time I'd discovered much about myself, was more motivated, active, my skin was clearing up for the first time ever. I was feeling no pressure of failure w girl b, just enjoying myself with free drinks and exercising newfound prowess. We approached the next bar together which was coming to close soon. My gf and her fraternal twin sister were there; I'd seen them around before but was usually annoyed by their personalities. Her twin was always first to pin me in a conversation, which dissolved under the daylight of any form of objective questioning. I don't remember my gf much before actually, just her sis. Girl b and I danced across the parking lot, where we hit their group. As usual twin sis is in my face instantly. Once I shrugged her off, my gf talks to me. Wasn't very attracted, but she wasn't annoying and had a great body so I decided I try to hook up with her at the very least( something I'd never tried, coming from a very christian house growing up and narrowly escaping a lifetime running from hellish sluts and such). Got her number.

It took me a while to get used to the idea of trying to have sex with someone I wasnt really into from any standpoint but sex, but I finally hit her up. I always put us in the bedroom making out only for the first few times. She seemed like she didnt want to go any further and being inexperienced, I chose to bide a little interest by playing aloof and unconcerned about this. One night I'm invited to her place. It was crawling with men at least a 4:1 men to women ratio. She was one of two single women and the more attractive of the two. I was disgusted but turned that onto my bretheren for sport and played coy by her side. I wasnt near the best at music, sports, grilling, my muscles were tiny compared to the dapper drummer who was flipping patties in front of the porch she sat on. I stayed late, we downed the rest of our wine and fucked until we fell asleep to daylight.

I wanted to play cool and get different girls, but all my options, like her were demanding monogamy. I stuck with her. We tried weird drugs, stayed up all night, fucked in the shower, fucked all the time. Great times. I'd finally started getting some.

Now, almost a year later I'm becoming suspicious of every guy she speaks of, looks at, or maybe he doesn't even exist. The thing is: we never fuck. We sleep together every night and fight all the time. I don't see it easily possible for her to cheat without me knowing. However, She was so disinterested in sex the other night, I had to ask. She said sex was making her anxious. I pryed, "we used to always have sex." But that, she said was at my house( where she doesnt like to sleep or be at all nowdays). I pryed more( its so hard to get words out of this girl). "I think I'm too tall for you," she said. I'm 5'9", she's 5'8". I didn't know when we started dating, but her last boyfriend was a lifter, 6'4". I was always kind of proud to compete with her past( my dick is average for a cauc male, which was a prime insecurity of mine with any girl until her- now its returning). We're still together, but I think I'm missing something. There's so many things I could add here, but that's the main points.