Alpha without being rude?

oldredder · 2016-04-02T17:27:59+00:00

You're probably just picking girls to hit on who are naturally bitchy. You could try to pick better but there's few in the other category. Maybe instead of "playfully teasing" try a more natural conversation. I never do playful teasing with a girl I just met. It comes off as fake.

What you described... some girl you don't know looks like your friend? Then you want her number? Sounds creepy as fuck and/or like an obsession with the friend.

You can indeed be polite, friendly, give genuine compliments and be alpha all in one.

Gelu_sf · 2016-04-02T23:33:10+00:00

Maybe when you get shit-tested you flare up in anger or something like that. They pick up on this. Try to relax.

BlackPhoenix01 · 2016-04-03T01:02:46+00:00

You can definitely be Alpha without being rude. Hell, a true Alpha is extremely polite and friendly. The rude and mean 'Alphas' tend to be the guys who have insecurities and are taking them out on other people.

What separates alphas from the betas is self respect and honesty with oneself. If a girl thinks that's rude behaviour, tough stuff.

geppetto123 · 2016-04-02T16:02:03+00:00

Do you see her shit test as an attack? This could tense up your answer in the way you say it while they notice only how u say it. Do you laugh internally when she test you and considered it as something super sweet that she tries already to see how far she can go with you?

Generally becoming rude is a form that you cannot defend with regular talk and feel a need of leveling up. So likely is something you give off very subitle because they notice it (you described it as pattern!) while you don't notice it by yourself if you look only at the logical side of it and the content (which likely is neutral).

TomMorrow2 · 2016-04-02T17:57:47+00:00

Find the post on chivalry from a place of power. Holding the door is something you can do without having to say a compliment or whatever, if you are of high enough value it's a compliment; but if you are of low value it could be viewed as subservient/beta.

Responding to shit tests as cold/ignoring it can be a winner but it sounds like you need to agree and amplify for a mix of responses.

Sometimes you need to be playful-if you are coming off as cold you could try the old backhanded compliment-I noticed you from across the room but those (pants/shoes/clothing) are so out of season/crazy colored/etc.

SpinPlates · 2016-04-03T01:33:12+00:00

Aloof. Mysterious. Stern and to the point. Have a backbone. If you disagree with what a girl says tell her and explain why you disagree. Don't be Mr. Likeable.

Maldek007 · 2016-04-03T15:39:47+00:00

"ind/polite/give compliments" no, No, NOOO. You cant.

If you want to get laid get this into your head. Do not compliment any womans looks before you have fucked her.

Rude is never a problem for a girl IF SHE SEES YOU AS HIGHER VALUE THAN HER. The king can say whatever he wants.

In your example one gets the impression you are more like the kings janitor, the girl sensed it and was not attracted to you. Girls do not like offensive and rude things from low value men. If she thinks she is doing you a favor by talking to you, you better be nice to her or you will be in a world of trouble. Low SMV males who hit on higher SMV females are on thin ice, such women can be mean.

lanky32 · 2016-04-09T14:15:22+00:00

Look, playfully teasing her is absolutely fine. Ignoring her shit test is also correct. Girls test you to check your frame. Amplifying what you earlier did is the way to go,

Having said that, we do not know what your definition of playful teasing is. Give us a couple of examples so that we can tell you whether you were being rude or just playful.

MAX_Fury · 2016-04-02T15:56:37+00:00

In my experience bro.. not really, buts thats me. I mean you can be a good person and treat people normally, but guys who have a backbone will not let anyone step over them thus having to be mean or rude. Its better to be rude than an apologetic beta you know.

Maybe its your appraoch with these women, something your doing wrong is givibg them the vibe.

The way I handle shit tests is always telling the girls they are funny and then changing the topic or flip the question on them. Try different things, its worked for me.

Title	Alpha without being rude?
Author	BensWorld
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	April 2, 2016 3:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4d1x5u/alpha_without_being_rude/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/alpha-without-being-rude.162831 https://theredarchive.com/post/162831

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