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Test Gay Man

by trp_sf | April 19, 2015 | altTRP

6 upvotes

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I am gay male who's been lurking in TRP for a few months. I figured folks here are qualified to give some anecdotal advice on this matter.

I've been seeing a guy for a couple months and want to get a sense of whether he's suitable material for something serious.

He's often aloof and it's hard to get a reaction out of him. What's a solid litmus test for interest level?


Post Information
Title Test Gay Man
Author trp_sf
Upvotes 6
Comments 9
Date 19 April 2015 06:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163360
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/335ayk/test_gay_man/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So, you wanna shit test him?

[–]trp_sf[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yup

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think you'll find help like that here. Try r/redpillwoman

[–]GC0W300 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What's your end game here?

What are you looking for?

[–]trp_sf[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am looking for a relationship; can't tell if he is. Due to work demands, dating multiple people is too exhausting. If he just wants to have fun then I'll next.

Directly communicating your intent seems to be the most mature approach, but I can't tell if that comes off as needy.

Thoughts?

[–]omnipedia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me with guys, it's what seems to work. In fact they know I'm looking for a LTR before our first date. Never do casual.

Am seeing a hot cowboy type now- like way out of my league hot. Seemed ambivalent after first date but agreed to second. He's never demonstrative doesn't express interest in me but agrees and shows up and has responded well to escalation. Haven't had sex yet, probably to his consternation.

Even though he's out of my league I'm not putting out until I know it's real. Too many guys just want sex and are losing interest as soon as their first orgasm. I don't want so late. I want a guy I will still be tying up in 20 years.

Gotta talk about it but bridge the gap if there is a cultural difference (like him being a stoic cowboy whole I'm a chatty urbanite.)

[–]should_0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How do you define "something serious" in this context and why do you want it?

One interest level test might be not initiating your next text conversation and seeing if he initiates, especially if you often text him first. It sounds like you don't want to escalate things because you fear rejection. You best be hittin' the gym, brah. Also, if your shit test, should you decide to do it, be taken badly by him, even if he 'submits,' he might be resentful.

[–]trp_sf[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I take excellent care of myself, dress and groom well. There's certainly no lack of interested men, but I can't say the same in return.

The hesitation comes because I have genuine feelings for him, which is rare. Spot on about fear of rejection.

What does being confident and direct look like?

[–]omnipedia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have genuine feelings for the cowboy. I'm quite smitten. I spend too much time thinking about him. At the same Tim my finger is resting on the next button. It's not confidence it's just knowing what is right what I want and what is worth. If he tells me he is no longer interested I'll tell him why he is wrong (unless it's physical) but if he can't see it, I'm moving on.

It's about knowing that you can't trap someone. Either they want you too or it can't work. You can't talk your way into success. So it's out of your hands. Which means you have nothing to fear.

You only control how long it is before you know this is the one or you're smitten about the next mr. Right, even if you go thru 35 guys to feel this way again.

Yeah it is a hassle. Everyone wants it over.

But you can't cheat in this game.



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