Pursue or not pursue- TRP has me confused on this one fundamental concept.

raceAround126 · 2014-06-14T07:39:07+00:00

You and I share a fair amount in mindset.

The hardest bit is to put "I need to pursue women" behind you. It doesn't make sense. If you're not pursuing women, how exactly are you going to get laid? And I know, it sounds nuts.

Your first objective is to put this social anxiety BS behind you. I don't think just showing up to a random bar by itself is going to do much. But, for me, this is how I deal with it.

If there's a band I want to see playing, I'll go see them. Regardless if they're playing locally or it's a drive away. To be honest, I'm now at the stage where I even prefer going to gigs by myself
If it's a Friday, find a decent pub with a few pool tables. If there's a few people playing, hang around, don't offer advice or anything shit, but merely ask if you could play a winner. Or if there's an empty table, load up and practice your shots, people will come up and say hi eventually. This is how I met a couple of my newer friends
Attend work socials. If there's an outing, go. Socialize and learn how to be comfortable talking to new people and how to be comfortable chilling on your own.

Besides that, it does sound like you just need to get laid a few times. The side bar is full of technique and ideas that, frankly, you have nothing to lose by throwing them into practice. And really, rejection isn't that big a deal. I don't think there's a guy on this sub that has never been rejected before.

And forget what you can offer the opposite sex. Right now, the most you should offer is cock! So quit with the "so much to offer" bs, cram the "have a lot of love to give" shite, you need to get laid a few times and that's really it! And there's plenty of bars and clubs with loose ladies who will fulfil that exact criteria.

Hell, even the law of averages dictates you're almost certain to get a one night stand without trying much. Sure it's not the whirlwind relationship you might have in mind, but after a while, you realize that it's not that big a deal. When you're ready to do some big deal thing, you'll be better equipped to figure out what kind of woman will be right for it, what traits to look for and how not to do the beta mistake of wifing up a slut!

Keep doing your own thing - get that band together. And if you're in a city there's even less excuse not to pursue music! Get out there, lazy git!

Good luck!

SkorchZang · 2014-06-14T06:52:11+00:00

I take the chinaman wisdom approach on this. Instead of active pursuit, go with laying the seeds for the desired result to happen "by itself" instead. Being a "trapper" instead of a hunter, is another way to describe this. It's a mental shift, but for me very helpful, since the pressure's totally taken off.

Not that you're doing anything especially different than the next guy, either. You still approach EVERYWHERE and all the time. Still some version of the 30 sec rule is in effect (your eyes meet, you have 30 secs to get over there and say whatever you've got, even if you're really not feeling it that night and it's just "hi?")

But what changes is, it's not a priority. You're laying the seeds dude, anywhere that looks remotely fertile, and not bothering yourself about what does or doesn't come of it. If it bears fruit, great. If it doesn't, great. Very similar in concept to sidebar's "outcome independence".

Beyond this broad strokes "strategic" level it can be important tactically too. Probably the most powerful thing for a guy's game to improve initially is to completely stop chasing the woman, let her chase you (of course the initial approach is always still 100% on you, and so is initiating the sex). It only becomes natural when you're moving through your world like a "chinese seed sower" and you have lots of things planted and incubating at all times, while you're out and about minding your own business.

[deleted] · 2014-06-14T10:25:12+00:00

Dude it's this. If you want to eat ice-cream, what do you do? Do you search for a shop and go there or you will expect it to come into your lap? Ofcourse you will go for it but the thing is you don't know whether the flavor which you want will there or not. That is what outcome independence is, you don't know whether it is there or not. And you don't beg or express your feelings to shopkeeper that you love that flavor and if the flavor is not present you don't say you can't live. What you will do is go to another shop. That is the same for women, you will go and try to get sex but if she says no then you don't express your feelings that you love her and etc, what you do is go to another girl and try there. Again you do not expect the sex but if you get it,it's good but always be outcome independent.

Subtletorious · 2014-06-14T10:56:26+00:00

Best place for advice is /r/askTRP

cooltrip · 2014-06-14T21:38:29+00:00

To pursue women or to not pursue women, that is the question...

Nope. To be handsome or to not be handsome, that is the question.

If you are handsome, who pursues who becomes an unimportant question, since women will pursue you if you don't pursue them.

Regarding women, being handsome is all you have to do. Don't make any other investment in women than handsomeness; apply all your other resources and investments to the other fields of life you are interested in.

Even if you could get pussy for your intelligence and not for your handsomeness, you want to get pussy for your handsomeness, in order to enjoy pussy the right way.

In other words: it's not that women prefer handsomeness; it's that you want women to prefer handsomeness. You don't want to enjoy pussy as an ugly guy.

Red Pill = Handsomeness.

Title	Pursue or not pursue- TRP has me confused on this one fundamental concept.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	June 14, 2014 6:02 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2844k5/pursue_or_not_pursue_trp_has_me_confused_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/pursue-or-not-pursue-trp-has-me-confused-on-this.16667 https://theredarchive.com/post/16667

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