My boyfriend might be going to jail

asteadyheart · 2016-10-20T16:18:17+00:00

You're young, only 20, and you have your entire life ahead of you. He's 27, he went to an "Ivy League school" and is a "trader". But that doesn't matter if you have a criminal record. Especially if he committed some type of financial fraud.

He needs to tell you WHY he's going to "jail." (PS: There is a difference between going to jail and going to prison, federal or state, and you need to know which one it is to have a better grasp on the situation.) If my husband told me he's going to jail, you bet your sweet bippy that he's going to tell me exactly what happened.

If he hasn't been charged/tried/convicted of the crime and decided to tell you anyway, then he's not very smart is he? To avoid entangling yourself in this, tell him not to talk to you about it or get out of the relationship. I'm not sure how you could have been with him for over a year and never noticed him being arrested/interviewed or go to court.

Whatever he did, he isn't as smart as you thought. A person with all of those advantages in life, and still decides to commit some crime (either violent and/or financial) is not smart in my book.

As someone from the legal profession, I'm going to tell you right now that this is not worth ruining your life for.

pinkdrawings · 2016-10-20T22:46:44+00:00

Imagine the reprocussions of him going to jail. The people you meet - all of them - will judge you. I know we're not supposed to care about what other people think, but we all do. Everyone will know he is in jail. He will have a hard time getting a job for the /rest of his life/. Most people will feel cautious around your husband if it is for something involving drugs, violence, etc. Even things with business may make him look shady.

He will be changed. You may wait 10 years for someone to be completely different when he gets out, or even not want to date you anymore. He may be completely dependent emotionally on you. Your life will continue. You'll make new friends, maybe get a different job, graduate if you're in school, etc. You'll feel more 'ahead' of him because his life hasn't advanced.

Would you really want to be led by someone who can't even led his own life? I'm pretty sure I can speak for most RPW when I say - you need to be led by a man who is worth leading for. Don't submit to just /any/ guy. He cannot even manage his own life. He'll steer you right off of a damn bridge.

You mentioned having kids. Would you want your kids to look up to someone who went to jail? What if he went back to jail for something? (A lot of people return.) Would you want to explain to your children where their daddy is? Would you want to have to awkwardly try to explain that [x] needs to be on the emergency contact, and not your husband?

Fine. At this point you may just be going 'Well they don't know him. He is a great guy. He - blah blah blah blah'. Whatever he did was illegal. Whatever it is probably isn't a small joint or not paying a parking ticket. He did something illegal, and you could squander your youthful looks to wait for a guy who may or may not be a great guy.

But most outstanding guys don't go to jail. Ivy League or not.

asteadyheart · 2016-10-21T01:52:43+00:00

My husband was facing jail time when we started dating. I'm assuming your SO's crime was white collar? I can empathize with your unique situation as my husband broke banking laws. I chose you stay with him, we actually got married before he was sentenced. Luckily he only got extended probation but it is something to seriously think about. 10 years is a long time and you aren't married. This is one of those times you may need to be selfish and think of yourself.

[deleted] · 2016-10-21T17:38:53+00:00

He wants me to stay and it's unfair because I know that if I was the one going to jail he'd leave me because in his eyes he could find a better woman out there for him that didn't fall so low. I talked to my mom about it she feels bad for him and now I think after all the advice I've gotten here it's time for me to break up with him and just wish him good luck. Thanks again for your advice I truly appreciate it!

asteadyheart · 2016-10-20T18:52:08+00:00

What might he be going to jail for?

[deleted] · 2016-10-21T05:15:35+00:00

Thanks for your advice I know truth can hurt but I have to accept it.

[deleted] · 2016-10-21T05:19:44+00:00

He committed a white collar crime by the way but I think I will have to be selfish and look out for myself on this one

mensafloyd · 2016-10-22T15:01:43+00:00

WOW! There a lot of naivety in these responses. A LOT! Given the dynamics of the age difference and having done forensic FA in this field, this has all the workings of fraud and that there maybe a clearing house account set up in your name. The reason he may still want you to be with him so he'll have access to the account. I'm not sure about the "Ivy League" part. Those guys usually have an extensive legal network that guides them on circling around trouble, navigating through the gray areas and support through the investigation (which rarely gets to that point). Because if one slips, they all go down. So something is not adding up. He's sub-consciously prepping you that you may have to answer some questions to the authorities. The best advice anyone can give you now is to lawyer up. Remember OP, in this forum, you publicly admitted you have knowledge of his events also if he spent money on you, you were the beneficiary of those ill-earned gains, so its not "if" you will have to answer questions, it's "when".

The women here need to show some restraint when giving advice here, because this is one area you don't want to fuck around with.

Title	My boyfriend might be going to jail
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	October 20, 2016 5:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/58f8i1/my_boyfriend_might_be_going_to_jail/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-might-be-going-to-jail.166982 https://theredarchive.com/post/166982

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