RPW Newbie: Marriage, Empowering my Husband, Swinging, etc.

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-11-13T18:32:45+00:00

So I'm not at all opposed to men having sexual experiences and fulfilling their desires and fantasies. I feel it's healthy!

But, your Husband?

I've been fascinated with sex work and how having sex can make people (especially men) feel human and accepted. I've also thought about becoming a sex surrogate or something because research into this shows how it can help heal people and I think this is so important.

In the vast, varied body of human sexuality and relationship types, this is about as far as you can go from the set of norms and values that Red Pill Women aspire to. This would benefit every man in the equation who simply lacks sex, and every instance would further damage your ability to pair-bond with one high quality man.

This is off-topic for our sub. Post locked.

LeftShark86 · 2016-11-13T15:48:16+00:00

Short answer, no, it's not healthy for the relationship. Whether you've fucked 4 women or 400, there is always a desire to sleep with more. However, indulging in this desire will destroy your relationship. If you want him to feel more fulfilled, be his personal slut. Fulfill his desires yourself.

loneliness-inc · 2016-11-13T15:25:25+00:00

There are two things at play here. Your/his biological instincts and morality.

Certain instincts clash with other instincts and can certainly clash with morality. Partner swapping is one of those things.

Theoretically speaking, if both partners agree, why not swap? Right? But it doesn't always work this way. It may be enjoyable at the moment, but it may also arouse extreme feelings of jealousy and other negative emotions. Partner swapping is also immoral.

and he never got to sew his wild oats

Since when is it a right of passage to sew wild oats?

ONS, partner swapping, sleeping around etc are all fun while you do it, but none of those are good ideas in the long run. They will get in the way of forming that deep intimate bond that gets deeper and more intimate as the years pass. Having multiple sex partners gets in the way of forming such a bond to begin with, swapping partners interrupts this bond.

Swingers may have more passionate sex as a result of swinging. Their sex is more passionate even when they're alone with their spouse. However, all this does is to trick your mind into having new relationship energy all the time. The challenge and great reward of marriage isn't in the NRE, it's in the deep intimacy that's built after the NRE wears off.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2016-11-13T15:07:08+00:00

My husband is from another country and is not white.

You need to be more specific. Different countries have different customs and social dynamics where men and women are concerned so knowing what his race/country of origin is makes a great deal of difference in understanding his mindset.

mwait · 2016-11-13T16:53:47+00:00

I can pretty much guarantee you that your partner is feeling insecure because your n-count is higher than his. If he had slept with 4 women and you had only slept with 2 guys, this probably wouldn't even be a topic of discussion.

lord-denning · 2016-11-13T17:27:52+00:00

Your desire to give him the chance to sow his wild oats is admirabke but misplaced. As others here have suggested, work instead on being his incredible wife during the day and his hot piece at night. Look for ways to be a true supporting counterpart in life and give him incredible experiences at night, which he can of course reciprocate. This is the recipe for marital happiness.

I wonder whether to some degree your views on his n-count come from a place of unease in your side that your count is higher, or possibly a desire to explore your own sexuality further. If so I suggest you work on becoming comfortable with yourself and leave him out of it. This attempt to give him something he did not take for himself in the past (and, if I understand correctly, is not raising now) can have disastrous consequences for your relationship.

Willow-girl · 2016-11-13T18:02:33+00:00

Is your husband actually expressing a desire to swing or sow his wild oats retroactively? I'd say if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

rpredneck · 2016-11-13T18:09:53+00:00

I'm thinking maybe this isn't the answer to helping him feel more fulfilled as a man.

What makes you think that he isn't fulfilled as a man?

How can I help my husband have fun and be sexually fulfilled if we are already married and he never got to sow his wild oats?

This question makes no sense. Having a promiscuous sexual past has nothing to do with having fun, being sexually fulfilled or being married.

Just be a good partner. When you bring this stuff up around him, it's probably making him feel like he isn't enough for you, which is a terrible thing to do to him.

Title	RPW Newbie: Marriage, Empowering my Husband, Swinging, etc.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	November 13, 2016 2:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5cq6vp/rpw_newbie_marriage_empowering_my_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/rpw-newbie-marriage-empowering-my-husband-swinging.167010 https://theredarchive.com/post/167010

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