In the spirit of self-improvement and generating actual discussion, I’m going to write a few posts about a topic that I find insanely fascinating: body language.

Fun fact: Shaking a head side to side is a universally recognized signal for showing disagreement or saying ‘no.’ It is learned by babies from day one, when they turn their head away from a breast when they no longer want milk, and is perpetuated for life.

Really insightful shit! However, that has nothing to do with this discussion. So quit thinking about tits, and read on.

Background

Crying starts at birth, followed by smiling around 5 weeks, and laughing at 4 to 5 months. From an early age, babies learn that crying gains the attention of people, but smiling keeps the attention. Smiling and laughing releases endorphins in the brain, which has a multitude of health benefits. Generally, happy people are healthier than their mopey counterparts, and healthier people are happier.

Something actually being funny is a very small portion of creating laughter. A person watching a youtube video by themselves may let out a faint chortle, but in a group setting everyone laughs out loud. It is an integral part of social bonding.

Why do we smile?

Among males, smiling is a submissive signal, used to disarm another. In chimpanzees, two different types of smiles have been observed, with both being a submissive gesture.

The “Fear Face” resembles what a human looks like when they fake a smile. It is in the mouth, but not the eyes, and communicates that one is not a threat because they are fearful of the other. The “Play Face” is a genuine smile, and communicates that one is not a threat because they have the light-heartedness of a child.

Fun Fact: Because smiling is seen as being so disarming, people wrongly assume that increased smiling implies one is lying. In practice, the opposite is true, and people typically reduce the amount they smile when fibbing. If you’ve ever been seriously accused by a plate/girlfriend/wife for something hilariously outlandish and responded with laughter, you’ve likely experienced this.

The fuck this got to do with ladies?

At 8 weeks old, continuing for the rest of their lives, girls smile considerably more than males – implying an inborn tendency to play the role as nurturers and appeasers. Females greatly value a sense of humor, and this is one of the few traits they actually get right when describing ‘what they want in a man.’ The ability to make others laugh is perceived as dominant, but smiling is not. Men who smile more are perceived to be weaker, and there are numerous studies to back this up.

What does this mean to us?

At a glance, there seems to be a contradiction here. Typically we think of a funny guy as a guy that also smiles.

After digesting it a bit, it makes total sense though. A person that laughs at their own jokes is often perceived as annoying or insecure. A guy at a club standing around grinning looks like a child perusing their first nudie mag. Laughing is primarily used for social bonding, and the guy that makes everyone laugh is perceived as having high social standing within the group. You might have already noticed it, but if a male is already perceived as having high SMV, people will laugh at whatever dumb shit they say; even when it objectively wasn't funny at all.

Fun Fact: Studies in court have shown that people who smile in their apologies are seen as more sincere, and receive lighter penalties. While this may seem contradictory to the previous fun fact, it is likely because we innately associate smiling with submissiveness.

The Take Away

I’m a bit conflicted here, and would love to get everyone’s input on this.

My takeaway is that it is fine to smile at a woman in passing. People love people who smile. If you are funny, embrace it and enjoy making yourself and others feel good. However, in a more intimate setting, make people (and more specifically, women) earn your admiration. If they have to work to make you smile it will have a much heavier effect. Deliver jokes with a slight smirk (to display amused mastery as you will commonly see here) but don’t grin like a child.

TLDR: Just read the fucking thing! But to summarize: The ability to make others laugh is perceived as dominant, but smiling is not.