Not satisfied with sex with other women

MrBowlfish · 2017-01-11T09:47:14+00:00

I think this is normal. You had a connection with your LTR. You knew each other, you knew her body and she knew yours. It's just a natural part of the breakup process to sometimes miss them. You have to just keep going. Sooner or later you will meet some women that really take your mind off her.

Auvergnat · 2017-01-11T10:09:45+00:00

Give it some time. Powerful emotions leave marks in our brains that remain for a while.

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-11T12:26:27+00:00

You know, things are very easy for us these days. We've evolved (or we're designed, whichever fits you) to be able to hunt, eat, and maybe copulate. But we have way too many calories available and too much free time, so we became bored.

Many, many, many people believe a proper LTR eases this void. This idea is a corruption of an old christian solution to this issue, "feverous devotion to god, and dedication for the family".
The catch there was the first bit. "God" works in mysterious ways and doesn't owe you shit, so you don't get to get frustrated at it.
With time and for many reasons, that turned into "feverous devotion for the family". This started to fuck things up because the family and each of its members have roles and therefore their failure to fulfill them well enough can fairly generate frustration.

What the hell is wrong with me?

You're looking, in pussy, a meaning that isn't there. A relationship's bond and a girlfriend's acceptance and reciprocation of your affections gives the illusion of such a meaning, but only for a short while. Kids are the same. Since these people have roles to play, if you "devote" to them you'll be frustrated by them eventually.
Your hardwired drive is polygamy and maybe care for your offspring in its early years. Romantically wise, nothing will be more fulfilling than fucking around, or sticking around the same chick for "the honeymoon period". But that's not nearly enough though.

You can build yourself a meaning and forcefully pursue it (make it something that depends only of you so you don't get frustrated, "devotion to the girlfriend" will screw you up) or embrace some oriental tradition of accepting the reality. Whichever fits you better.

MattyAnon · 2017-01-11T18:09:27+00:00

I still find myself unsatisfied and thinking about my ex afterwards because I don't feel any connection with these other women. What the hell is wrong with me?

This is pretty normal. A good relationship can feel pretty good, although a lot of it is based on delusions about her true nature.

That being said, like you I value closeness with women.

Try arranging to spend more time with them. Weekend away, explore together, mini breaks, etc. You get the "weekend girlfriend experience" without the misery of commitment.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-01-11T09:39:59+00:00

Oneitis. What's your life's mission?

Mother fuckers with a life's mission don't get alpha widowed by a chick.

Title	Not satisfied with sex with other women
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	January 11, 2017 9:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5nb82o/not_satisfied_with_sex_with_other_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/not-satisfied-with-sex-with-other-women.182155 https://theredarchive.com/post/182155

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