High school, disrespected by girl, got "apology" text

redbluepilling · 2016-11-30T04:08:21+00:00

got massive oneitis where I had physical pain from stress, got over it

... and yet wrote massive wall of text.

I feel like I need to show that this doesn't phase me

Trying to get that validation and still trying to play alpha.

I can tear this apart, break it down and explain everything, which may be useful...except for the fact that you're likely not going to use the insight for anything except trying to look better in the eyes of her and your tiny temporary social circle.

Overall, you need to actually move on. Accept that you gave it a shot, and missed.

I only wrote this as I hate the 'fake it til you make it' advice and similarly imploded back in high school. Look to the future and commit to racking up and enjoying all the experiences that you can create for yourself.

Realize that right now, thinking about this and choosing to 'go more alpha', 'go indifferent', use 'dread game', or 'soft next'... is made in reaction to her*. You can't win--until you accept your current situation in life and have a vision for the future where all this shit fades into the background and genuinely becomes insignificant.

(*And, if you understand this paradox, when you do inevitably choose one action or the next, notice and laugh at the absurdity that you can't win this one. Even choosing to ignore her is still you being affected by her. So when you do, laugh at yourself and the situation you've found yourself in. That's the only real way to get over it. Find the dark comedy and be self-amused at your little predicament.)

fnordsnord · 2016-11-30T05:44:44+00:00

Quit 'being flirty." This gives her affirmation. She gets what she wants (you've affirmed she's attractive), while YOU do not get what YOU want (sex/romance). Just stop. You have too much history with this one to get anywhere.

"There's something inside you which angers me."

She can smell beta. The "faking it" isn't working for you, and she knows it. More - people cast us in roles that we neither want, nor consent to. And it pisses them off when we refuse to follow the script. She decided that you were a beta-orbiter, and you were making progress toward getting out of that role.

And it's not a particularly weird text. You were getting out of your assigned role. She used her power to shove you back down where you belonged. This is the act of a bitch. Nobody likes to feel like they're a bitch, so she's trying to apologize. If you accept her apology, you are granting her absolution for being a bitch to you. This "apology" has nothing to do with you, and is all about how she feels about herself.

Let's talk for a second about leaving the room when you did: it was a good move.

No, it did not assert control over the situation in a manly fashion, demonstrating that you are a Man With Options and a Leader of Man. It showed that she's gotten to you, hit a soft spot, and had power over you. But you know what? You're still working on all of this, and I think it was the best option you had available. You're not in a position (yet) to shoot back when you get blindsided like that. Removing yourself from the situation wasn't a win. But it was better than bursting into tears, calling her names, punching her in the face, or belching the alphabet.

You said you are stuck seeing her for a year. I'm guessing you're in school together. Treat her like every GUY that you see that isn't in your posse. She's over there. You're over here, and you're going to get on with your shit.

Your need to "show that this doesn't phase me" puts you in her frame. YOU are still trying to prove YOURSELF to HER.

Stop it.

You "Don't want to come across as mad at her?" Why do you care how you come across to her? She doesn't MATTER to you any more.

Dread? Have you even READ the sidebar. Dread is a tool applied to wives, girlfriends, and plates that reminds them that you are a Man with Options and that they can be replaced. The term LITERALLY comes from the phrase "dread losing you." This girl has ZERO emotional investment in you, and she could not give a fart in a hurricane about "losing" you. Dread game has absolutely NO traction here. Attempts to apply it would make you look pathetic and not work.

"Tell her you won't deal with disrespect?" What are you gonna do? Slap her around? Tell her mom?

You have precisely ONE tool to discipline the women in your life: the withdrawal of your resources. Quit spending time, money, and emotional energy on this women.

Now - moving forward:
You are NEVER going to plate or date this girl. That ship has sailed. Stick a fork in her, she's done. It's burned down, fallen over, and sank into the swamp. It's dead, Jim. Are you getting it, or should I continue? You don't want the role of "friend" that she claims to offer you. You CERTAINLY don't want the role of "beta-orbiter." The roles of "lover" and "plate spinner are, as I said above, NOT on offer. What's left? Colleague.

Treat her like a guy who's not in your posse. Don't hate her. Don't love her. Don't snub or avoid her, but don't hang out with her either.

RunawayGrain · 2016-11-30T12:24:27+00:00

"I'm sorry I get so vicious with you. I can't tell what is but there's something inside you which angers me. And when I'm the slightest bit mad I destroy and I become dangerous. Please I'm sorry and I'm gonna keep my distance."

She's crazy, so ghost her.

Title	High school, disrespected by girl, got "apology" text
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	November 30, 2016 3:37 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5fndfu/high_school_disrespected_by_girl_got_apology_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/high-school-disrespected-by-girl-got-apology-text.182927 https://theredarchive.com/post/182927

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