Shit test or comfort test?

gantgui · 2016-04-29T15:00:17+00:00

You did perfect. She was probing gor comitment, you didnt give it. When she asked about the kissing the guy at the club thing she wanted to see if you at least cared about her. Your response was good since it showed two things, yes you do care about her a bit or you would keep on seeing her even if she did kiss another guy. But you respect yourself enough to cut her off if she did

But you said if she did you wouldnt talk to her again which showed you at least cared a bit which gives her hope that one day something might happen. Perfect balance of comfort.

Obviously now she might be quiet since she didnt get comitment imo she'll come back trying to prove herself even more

On the other hand it might be the end of the road as shes looking for commitment but you wont give it. Plates break.

FrameWalker · 2016-04-29T17:57:20+00:00

It was definitely a shit test. Why? You've seen this girl eight times. Once a week since March.

Shes probably not exclusive btw

NiftyDolphin · 2016-04-29T19:36:58+00:00

She may have a beta lined up and wanted to give you first dibs. You may get a LSNFTE (Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity) as she goes to pursue a more stable prospect.

Scroll down to the "Questions and Answers on Time Frames" section at the bottom of the article to see how he deals with LSNFTE situations.

SoRedSuchAlpha · 2016-04-30T02:46:36+00:00

Yes, she was looking for commitment. Whether you handled it well or poorly depends on your goals and values. She may very well dump you, either right now or soon, but not because of a tactical misstep. If she dumps you it will be because the terms you've offered -- she must commit to you, you won't commit to her -- are not acceptable to her.

If you aren't willing to commit and aren't willing to share, then you did the best you could. If continuing to see her is important to you, all you can do is reconsider one of those values.

ecosci · 2016-05-02T23:58:47+00:00

She will keep coming back i think you are on your way to alpha widow.The beta guy wont challenge her like you will and she is going to dump him or cheat with you.

Title	Shit test or comfort test?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	6
Date	April 29, 2016 2:49 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4gzpwj/shit_test_or_comfort_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-test-or-comfort-test.185875 https://theredarchive.com/post/185875

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