I'm doing this all off the head, so I have no idea how long this is going to be. I'll put a TL;DR at the bottom. In 2014, I graduated from high school. Back in school, I was an "almost" alpha. Friends, girls, parties, etc. Life was pretty good. After graduation, I became this. I quit going outside and socializing. I just stayed inside watching porn and stalking my old friends on social media sites and stewing in envy because they were living and I was slowly dying. I knew about TRP and found it interesting, but I didn't really apply anything. I was depressed as fuck, I even gave myself a deadline: if shit isn't looking up by my 20th birthday, I'm killing myself. My daily schedule was

wake up and stay in bed until 12 pm, most likely watching porn.

eat breakfast and sit around until it's time to go to work

go to work for a few hours, then come home

eat dinner, jack off, and then go to sleep

This went on for a year. A terrible existence for someone who would walk down the high school hallways with five other alphas and have girls literally jump into my arms.

Recently, I got back in touch with a few old friends from high school and I want to say I've done a complete 180, but it's been more like a 90. They invite me out almost every weekend to go to parties and hit the gym and I'm pretty happy, my problem is, I've forgotten how to be human. I can't even talk to the cashier at the corner store anymore without my stomach tying up in knots. The only women I'm able to hold a conversation with are ugly ones, and I barely feel comfortable around my friends anymore, I feel like I'm just tagging along when I go out with them. Just thinking about talking to people I don't know gives me a stomach/headache when I used to love talking to strangers. I want to change but it's just not happening. I've read the sidebar and I understand it. I've read a bunch of posts over at /r/theredpill but these days, the whole sub is basically MRA shit and stories about whores, so all it does is piss me off.

TL;DR Was pretty alpha a year ago, spent a year in solitude, and reverted so far back into betahood, I can barely even function socially and I have no idea what to do.