For context, 4 years, engaged, I broke it off last Thursday, she got all her stuff on Friday and It's been radio silence all weekend. Not for punishment or trying to keep her around but because I just don't care anymore, I'm done caring, I just want her out of my life and to move on with mine.

There was no big fight, I am naturally extremely stoic, I just said I'm not happy and I'm done, she was mostly in shock but I already called her dad and had things prepared so she didn't have to stay with me or give her a chance at a hamster fight. I didn't need to explain myself because she has known for a long time that I was unhappy, I was unhappy because I was a BB but that point is mute, I'm done and not getting back with her.

Through the weekend and Friday I was getting massive shit tests. She was contacting my parents and passive aggressively threatening me with cops, search warrant or court because I only allowed her to take 1 of the 2 cats, go fucking figure, she's entitled to both of them even though I took care of them, payed the vets and bought the food(I also payed for all her food and stuff too, AWALT). Friday she was taking every jab she could at me to get while collecting her things, I just stayed stoic, didn't explain myself cause it was already understood, she just wanted a reaction to justify being pissed so she could validate me as the bad guy whiles she's completely innocent.

Friday I actually said to her, right next to her good friend while packing, "If you are truly oblivious to why I'm leaving you, that's exactly why I'm leaving you." That stopped the shit tests real quick.

Anyways, today I get this text,

"I know it might not be as difficult for you, but you are my best friend and this is the longest we've gone without talking... I went to you with everything & I'm so lost right now. I know you need time but it would really help to hear from you."

Trust me, it was really hard, I just was over it before I broke it off with you so I'm coming across as a inconsiderate asshole.

Now she does have issues with depression, she's going to school 5 days a week, she was working for my family and obviously quit her job now and I just flipped her life upside down. I don't want to lead her on or give her any inclinations that we might work it out, I don't want to get into a hamster shit fest for her to be allowed to crucify me in some way but I do want to help her down as she is prone to extreme depression.

edit: The red pill in me says, "Not my problem anymore" but the BB in me knows if she was to lash out and do something stupid(hurt herself or worse), I'm going to feel like it's my fault, even if I left her because she was just using me for the picture perfect Disney marriage and life.

Edit: her

"I know you might not be ready to talk, but I do need you to know that I had my priorities screwed up. The wedding, the ring mean nothing to me. You are what's important. I was scared of the embarrassment(I said we should postpone it), and now I couldn't care less.. All I want is for you to hold me. I know you're nowhere near that. I should've listened and communicated better."

me

It's not that I'm not ready to talk, it's that the time to talk is over. I don't see anything good coming from talking other than you being lead on in a false hope that we may work it out.

I'm glad you found the introspection to see the situation now but it's a little to late. I told you when we first started dating that I'm not the type to flake or be fickle. I don't Break up and fight and get back together. I don't believe any good relationship has a dynamic where one person has to use a threat of leaving as a means to get what the deserve out of a relationship. I did this and it was horrible. Again, I told you when we first started dating that If I date someone it's because I see them as being worth that commitment, but when the moment comes that I don't see that worth reciprocated I will end it. I will be loyal till death or until it's no longer worth the commitment and I will always try to fix it till I'm out of options, it's my nature, but I've already done everything I could possibly do.

I still care about you _____ but I'm done sacrificing myself to make sure your happy. I want you to find happiness and you deserve it but it won't be with me. Our relationship hit the point of no return long ago.

Take the last 4 years and learn from it. I learned a lot about what I do and don't want in a relationship and I learned an enormous amount about myself and how I fucked up to because we were both a part of it. There's two people to every relationship and it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to say I did nothing wrong.

You matured a lot in the last 4 years. I remember when you where just getting your job and so innocent and naive about a lot of things. I and my dad tried to prepare and teach you a lot of things and I think your definitely more of a woman today than the girl you where 4 years ago.

I suggest you don't make the same mistake I did when you meet someone again. My biggest fuck up was allowing you to move straight in from your dads. You learn a tremendous amount about yourself and life by being able to rely on only yourself to survive. It's something you will not relate to till you do it so just take my word for it. Finish your schooling, get your own place then start looking for a commitment. Take the advice you gave _____