My girlfriend frequently becomes emotional over issues in our relationship. Almost every fight we've ever had boils down to her blaming me for not "caring" for her enough.

  1. For instance, my phone battery died one night while I was out with friends and I missed all her texts. She blew up about it saying I should at least have the decency to tell her when my phone battery is low so she won't worry. She tells me she doesn't like my mindset of not having the forethought to warn her in advance. Then she proceeds to tell me she's tired of dealing with this. (This has happened multiple times before).

  2. Another time, during a phone call, she started being passive aggressive. Answering with short, dismissive replies (I dunno, yep, sure, great) in a very snarky, bitchy tone. I addressed it immediately and told her that I would hang up and she could call me back when she's done acting passive aggressive. This enrages her further and she proceeds to shame me for being too weak of a man to handle her emotions, and called me a coward. This immediately reminded me of this excerpt from The Way of The Superior Man

If you are like most men, you probably aren't too fond of feminine bad moods and hysterical emotions. You may find yourself wondering, why is she so complicated? What's her problem? You may find yourself saying, "Just calm down and take it easy." The feminine bad mood is so foreign and dark to you that you may actually find it somewhat repulsive. And when your woman really goes wild, a part of you is afraid of the damage she might do. Her emotions are so much more wild and less predictable than yours that you'd rather not be around them. Basically, most men are afraid of, or disgusted by, feminine emotions. That's why you try to fix them or escape from them. "I'll come back later when you can act like a reasonable human being," you might say. One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax.>

After meditating on it for a day or two, I told my girlfriend that me threatening to hang up and leave her to deal with her emotions alone went against my values. And I admitted I made a mistake. Basically apologized without appearing supplicating or appeasing.

I'm just not sure what to do in a situation where she is being emotional over something I did wrong in her eyes. I know the right answer is to maintain frame, but its difficult. If I agree & amplify, she will ignore it and try to shame me for being serious. If I leave the situation, I'm going against the idea of "standing full and present amidst her storm".

Thoughts?