How do I strike up conversations with complete strangers?

[deleted] · Sun Dec 14 0:45:09 2014 UTC

[permanently deleted]

gentleViking · 2014-12-14T04:50:27+00:00

"Hi" or "Hello" with a genuine smile is a classic. I'd start there.

A lot of people graduate from "Hi" to scripted opinion openers but those never worked well for me.

I prefer situational openers such as what BP is talking about.

One of my other favorites is the extremely direct "Hey, I think you're really cute (sexy,hot, or whatever) and I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day (night) if I didn't at least come ask you for your number (come talk to you)." I call this one the Tim Ferriss because it's straight from "The Four Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferriss. This is how I met my ex and also a plate who I dated for a couple months. Works surprisingly well, but you have to be genuine and as always smile. Smiles are disarming.

oldredder · 2014-12-14T04:53:47+00:00

Maybe ask if you know each other from years back? Even if you don't think so but act like it's legit?

Or maybe bring in anything in the last few seconds and/or nearby as a situation to comment on, see what happens.

Or ask a name, introduce yourself, just because.

What are you so nervous about?

JackGetsIt · 2014-12-14T13:50:49+00:00

Some near universal openings:

Where are you from? (everyone has a sense of home)

What brought you out tonight?

What do you do?

Richard La Ruina says that it's also important how you follow up. When someone volunteers info about themselves stop routing it through the part of your brain that says, "what do I know about this subject." Start asking about the persons desires, motivations, and character traits. She says: "I went to Japan for a year to live." You don't say: "I love Japan my favorite anime films come from Japan". You want to say: "Wow what made you want to make that big decision (motivations) you must be a very brave person (character traits) how did you feel when you first stepped off the plane (emotions)." Get out of your own head as much as possible and get into theirs.

Johnny10toes · 2014-12-14T14:25:58+00:00

You'll find this true with more than just conversation and will be able to use it in a lot of aspects of your life.

Fit the ideas to the situation and not the situation to the ideas.

Meaning that if this idea doesn't make sense for this situation then don't use it. Use a more appropriate idea.

Generally, in conversation with strangers, you can make comments about the current area or whatever and you have small talk. Then you can start using open ended questions, ones that make them talk instead of a yes/no response. Stay away from politics, religion, abortion or other sensitive dividing things. Listen. That's what people are lacking. Someone to listen to them. Pay attention and don't let your mind wonder because that's what everyone else does.

Title	How do I strike up conversations with complete strangers?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	December 13, 2014 11:03 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2p7mj4/how_do_i_strike_up_conversations_with_complete/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-strike-up-conversations-with-complete.192974 https://theredarchive.com/post/192974

Comments