Girl I used to orbit gives an outpouring of emotion. Been going NC for several months now; is it possible to convert her into a plate?

AlphaAsFAQ · 2014-08-29T00:20:28+00:00

deleted

themoor · 2014-09-01T03:34:33+00:00

So you put yourself in the friendzone with her, realized it, backed off, and now your moving on with life. She feels the sting, for a few reasons.

She's lost an orbiter. While you extracted yourself from her life a while back, as long as you existed near her there was the theoretical possibility that you could return to her orbit. Now that's out. She's feeling a loss.
She's sensing that you quit hanging out with her because your feelings for her were not reciprocated and she's afraid you think she is a bitch. Girls hate for their potential orbiters to turn on them and think poorly of them. She's trying to make herself feel better by you telling her "it's okay....I don't think poorly of you."
She was never turned on by you... because YOU didn't do what is needed to turn her on. Can't blame her for that. That's on you. But that said, she's not writing you to express regret for her failure to pursue you romantically. She just wants you to give her emotional relief because you are leaving and this might be her last chance to get off the hook of you thinking she's a bitch (and that you might smear her character with others).

So, all that said, even if you write ""it's good...maybe I'll see you when I come home next", it is still highly unlikely you can turn her into a plate.

Once you let her off the hook and re-enter the friendzone, she'll feel relief and go right back to where you two left off.

Her texts, to me, DO NOT look like a girl who's realized her mistake and wrongly passed up an opportunity with a good guy. She just wants to stop feeling like someone out there hate her.

And all that said, you are only 16, you are moving... there's tons of women out there. Don't get bogged down with this chick, it'll only mess with your head and logistics to find others.

How should you respond? Factually, non-emotionally, and a bit cryptically (after all, in a year, two, or three, you might run back into her and might get a bang out of it.... for old time's sake). I would suggest this: "Lot's of people didn't get to say good-bye. It happens...meh, that's life."

You've promised her nothing, no validation but given her hamster fuel and a bit of a shrug on your part.

She'll text back for sure. Let that shit go... she'll be pissed at first but forget about it after the year you are gone and will probably be happy to see you.

When that happens, escalate the shit out of that immediately and if she's at all interested, she'll go with your game plan.

Until then, a new world of chicks is about to open up to you. Enjoy it.

[deleted] · 2014-08-29T08:47:17+00:00

Personally I would just ignore her and move on. There is a billion other girls out there

fortifiedoranges · 2014-08-29T09:57:30+00:00

Just ignore her, she's trying to pull you back into the beta bucks frame. Don't do it. Focus on your schooling and meet a woman around that school. You will forget about her when you're balls deep in someone else. There is no point in trying to make her a plate. Down the road when you go home, you could spite fuck her, but don't work for it. Don't invest any effort into this girl, she will come to you.

Edit: thinking on it, it will never be sexual. She was looking for closure and validation. Don't give it to her. Move on and forget she ever existed.

Pushnikov · 2014-08-29T17:39:32+00:00

At your maturity level, you probably won't listen to this. Forget her, move on with your life. She is now a footnote on a long life with hopefully great adventure. The longer you linger on some girl the less likely you are to think about what really matters. Your life.

What are you going to do to make your life the best life you want to live and explore? Even at 16, so much to prepare for on life that I wish people told me I could do then.

TheReason13 · 2014-08-29T19:12:22+00:00

No. No no no. She is disillusioned by the loss of control she had on you. Make no mistake, she has no remorse. If you reply to her you are giving her the opportunity to both rationalize that it is somehow not her fault and obtain closure, she will use any means to push your buttons and get an emotional reaction from you. If she succeeds she wins and you validate her intent to hamster away responsibility.

She probably expected you to always be around when she feels she has use for you, your leaving took her by surprise. She desperately needs closure from you, you must deny her this. You need to go no contact, by doing this you force her hamster to work in your favor, you deny her the opportunity to rationalize and therefore force her to take full responsibility, and you deny her closure which will keep her emotionally attached to you until you see her again. If ever.

This will work in your favor down the line, her hamster will do all the work for you. If you feel the need to reply say something condescending like

"lol. This is a personal choice to further myself academically, its got nothing to do with you. Ill be sure to try and factor you in on any future life choices."

Then go no contact.

Also her threats are empty, she does not have the emotional stability to go no contact on you. She will cave and come running eventually. Trust your old buddy reason on this one.

niczar · 2014-08-29T07:57:44+00:00

The go to advice for LJBF situations around here is to just go NC. HOWEVER IMO the best way to do so is to go all in sexual if she initiates contact back. If she rejects it, awesome, you know exactly where you stand and you can cut your losses without any remaining regrets. If she doesn't, awesomer.

I'd text back something like, "oh babe now you're making me feel bad. Let's meet at xxxx so that I can give you a long goodbye kiss you can remember me by." When you see her, go for the kiss, and if she resists, ask her "do you think I'm a jerk?" or "u mad at me?" with fake contrition.

Act like she wants you, because she's obviously on the fence anyway, and if she says otherwise, smile disbelievingly: "[but I don't like you in that way!] — Sure, babe :)" or "And yet you know you're going to miss me :)"

If she gives an inch, tell her "you know, I didn't think of you in that way before. I mean, I always thought you were cute but I didn't think you were someone I'd want to be with" to hamster away your former beta behavior. If she submits, push it as far as you can, but obviously not too forcefully. That means taking her to a private place where you can escalate the smooching. Escalate: grab her ass, then tits, then after a while her thighs and massage her cunt over her pants, then put your hand in her pants.

Remember, you have nothing to lose. So at the very least, use her as practice to holding frame.

Girl I used to orbit gives an outpouring of emotion. Been going NC for several months now; is it possible to convert her into a plate?

Here is an english version.

So, my great question is, is it possible to convert her into a plate (and if so how would I go about that)?

Comments

Title	Girl I used to orbit gives an outpouring of emotion. Been going NC for several months now; is it possible to convert her into a plate?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	16
Date	August 28, 2014 11:59 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2evesm/girl_i_used_to_orbit_gives_an_outpouring_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girl-i-used-to-orbit-gives-an-outpouring-of.194421 https://theredarchive.com/post/194421