Hey, long-time lurker here.

I recently decided that I don't want to be in a relationship, and broke up with my long-term girlfriend (who is great wife material, but I just don't want to be committed at this time). This break up was completely unrelated to TRP, but I just happened to find it around the same time.

I'm 34. After thinking carefully over my life decisions, I've decided that I was just getting into LTRs because I can't deal with the stress that comes with getting social, talking to girls, etc. I have social anxiety, and I had managed to decrease it to a manageable level through years, but never had much success with girls. Which I didn't mind much, cause I was "getting some" eventually, just not the quality I want...

I'm fixing lots of issues in my life, which are of no interest to anyone, but just usual stuff we all very well know from here. But, there are some sides to my problem that I'm unable to find any help.

When I ask for help, just as all girls say "Just be yourself", all guys say "bro, man up and go talk". As people suffering from serious anxiety and depression would understand, it's not just a switch you can flip when you want. It's like telling a suicidal person to "just be happy". It needs more care than just "doing it". And it's impossible to try to do anything at all, when you're literally sweating and it's dripping from all your head, you start shaking, start mumbling.

There are some treatments, but half of them don't work at all, some of them works but at the cost of serious side-effects (impotence, hair loss, suicidal thoughts), and that leaves only herbal solutions and therapy. Therapy takes long time, and it didn't help me. Herbal solutions are just herbal solutions, weak, mostly placebo, rarely change anything.

I feel like I'm losing this war against time, and I don't want to accept defeat, when there are still lots of things I want to do in life. I will not let this issue ruin my life or prevent me to do something I want to do.

I'm wondering about possible TRP advises on this issue.

What do you guys think?