Helping my friend with his cheating fiancé?

Walktillyoucrawl · 2014-06-03T21:36:15+00:00

How can he even be considering going to couples therapy with her, it would be a huge mistake. She has shown him her true colors and no amount of bullshit therapy is going to change her. She has cheated on him not once, but twice. Tell him to GTFO, but beyond that its his life and if he wants to ruin it, its a free country. Tell him also to thank his lucky stars that he didn't find out about this after the wedding.

rockmasterflex · 2014-06-03T23:24:18+00:00

Your friend needs a solid punch in the fucking jaw. The girl just outed herself as both an alcoholic AND a cheater and he still even needs to fucking ask?

IS IT OKAY? IDK. Would you buy a car from a used car dealer for $5k if he told you the transmission was already shot and the engine would only last another 5k miles. Or would you look for another fucking car for $5k?

Are these things actually questions in peoples minds? Of course he is making a mistake. She is no snowflake, no uinicorn. Well no, maybe she is a snowflake, the kind that has been shit on by your neighbor's pit bull. But hey look at all those clean snowflakes falling around elsewhere.

Fuk_Boonyalls · 2014-06-03T21:53:32+00:00

The only reason she's still around at this point is because that dude she slept with doesn't want anything to do with her.If someone rolls though her life again that she feels is higher status she'll do it again if given the chance. Tell your friend to man up and move on.

Sturmgeist781 · 2014-06-03T22:16:35+00:00

she has said that she did it because she was unsure about the marriage and had been drinking heavily.

Because fuck personal responsiblity.

OP, you can't tell him anything. He's going to have to find out the hard way.

Stayinghereforreal · 2014-06-03T21:27:18+00:00

because she was unsure about the marriage and had been drinking heavily.

Well, she should be assured there is no longer any reason to be unsure about something that is never going to happen.

Now she is in AA and has convinced him to go to couples therapy with her.

What a moron. You don't do couples therapy when you are not married and there are no kids. You dump that woman and never speak to her again.

Get three or four of his friends together and do the intervention. Tell him if he wants to get back together with her, that is his choice, but he is an idiot if he does so, and you guys want to go on record telling him he is being an idiot. That had better mean something to him, otherwise he is a lost case, and you can write him off with a clear conscience at that point.

robesta · 2014-06-03T22:46:22+00:00

Is he making a mistake?

Absolutely. They're not even married and she's already fucking other guys multiple times. She can blame the alcohol, but that's bullshit.

Is there anything I can do to help him here?

Give him an honest opinion when he asks and tell him exactly what can happen with divorce, child support and alimony. I don't trust any woman, but I definitely wouldn't trust a woman who's shown to be a cheating whore twice and a substance abuser with half my shit.

RPthrowaway123 · 2014-06-03T22:00:38+00:00

Am I the only one who smells trickle-truth here?

[deleted] · 2014-06-03T21:45:16+00:00

I think the degree of her wrongdoing has made an opportunity. There is a high chance to mishandle it. What does his dad think or know about the situation? Does he have a brother?

If you do call him on this shit, make sure you have him fairly buzzed and you seem to have a similar buzz on, so you can apologize later and say it was the beer talking, if things don't go well. (That's a tried-and-true chick-trick, right there.)

[deleted] · 2014-06-04T00:51:45+00:00

Obviously making a huge mistake. That is not even a question.

As for advice. Sit him down and tell him as much. Run through all the relevant facts. Marriage ends over 50% of the time in divorce. Then tell him that over 80% of divorces are initiated by the women. And it can be done through a process of no-fault which means she could divorce him and take half of his stuff on a whim. Then make mention that the greatest indicator of past behavior is future behavior (that means she will cheat again). Then do your best to convince that any feelings he has for this girl are rooted in a specific cocktail of neurotransmitters. Such a cocktail could be achieved with many women. Give him a copy of the "The Rational Male" and tell him to read it. And be done. If he agrees, then you get to keep your friend. If he goes back to this bitch, CUT HIM LOOSE. He would then be beyond help and effort.

[deleted] · 2014-06-04T03:44:40+00:00

If you are truly this guys friend, you will get him the fuck out of that relationship.

You need to shame this girl ruthlessly and relentlessly. Your friend may go into bluepill hamster mode and try to rationalize how he can still be together with her. Rebut everything he says about it being a good relationship, let alone marriage.

GTFO.

darklogic420 · 2014-06-04T04:07:49+00:00

Just don't let this impact your life. Don't let him bring a cheater around you, or anywhere near any woman you want in your life. If he asks why, tell him it's because you don't want anyone thinking you approve of what she did or that you're pathetic enough to take back a cheating whore.

Title	Helping my friend with his cheating fiancé?
Author	Craigfordy
Upvotes	20
Comments	20
Date	June 3, 2014 9:10 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/278hm5/helping_my_friend_with_his_cheating_fiancé/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/helping-my-friend-with-his-cheating-fiance.195322 https://theredarchive.com/post/195322

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