Women starting families late is hailed as a feminist triumph. Why?

red-wings · 2014-01-25T20:38:31+00:00

I got married very young, too young to drink legally, and then pregnant right away, by mistake. If not for this, I might have never had kids.

My youngest will leave home when I'm 43.

My in-laws will have their youngest leave home when they are approaching sixty five. 65! They did a few fun things as Double Income No Kids (DINKs) for many years before having kids. But they are super cranky, too tired to discipline their kids properly, and their entire house looks like a Hoarders episode because their kids have so much stuff (mom and dad both work all the time, better buy some stuff!!).

By the time our kids leave home... we'll still have time to recover from college expenses before retirement. We were poor during those young years when kids are very small and don't need that much. It taught us to be frugal, and after enduring years of taunting by those DINKs because our houses & cars have never been as fancy... we are far better off financially despite having half the income all these years.

Our no-kids time of life will happen when we (hopefully!!) are healthy, know each other well, and have a little money to spare.

I think their time before having kids taught them to be dependent on a 2nd income and to spend money foolishly - so they prioritize having a BMW in the garage and eating out every day, while the kids languish in daycare for 10+ hours per day.

I'm so happy for our "accident". It made our lives so much better.

Lady_Motido · 2014-01-25T22:26:23+00:00

These are all very valid reasons to take into consideration when thinking about postponing starting a family.

In my personal experience, my parents could not conceive and opted for adoption. They were in their late 30s when they adopted me and illness started soon after with my dad which impacted our lives quite strongly and then when I was pregnant with my second child my mom passed away from ALS.

She never got a chance to see most of her grandchildren and my dad was ill throughout our entire lives. I realize illness can strike anyone but let's just say that instead of waiting until they were near 40 they would have tried in their 20s, my dad did not get ill until he was in his early 40s meaning he would have enjoyed his children for nearly 20 years and my mom would have most likely been around to enjoy her grand kids.

pinkantlers · 2014-01-26T18:40:13+00:00

My parents were almost 40 when they had me (no siblings either), and as much as I love them I would not want my kids to go through some of the things I have and will do in the future because of that. I don't think I'd want to leave it later than 30 to start to be honest.

pinkantlers · 2014-01-26T18:46:09+00:00

I also have a question this thread has raised in my mind - as RPW, how much is the decision/ timing of having babies influenced by your SO? Like, does he have the final say so, is it a decision you naturally come to together, or do you have the lead on this decision? I'm curious :)

Pink_acetaminophen · 2014-01-26T22:52:33+00:00

That part about not getting to see your grand kids or your kids grow up gave me so much anxiety.

Nonmedicated · 2014-01-25T21:31:32+00:00

I think 30 is the perfect age to have a child. It's not too old, not too young.

LadyLumen · 2014-01-27T18:59:25+00:00

My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. We couldn't have kids right now even if we wanted to because of economic difficulties. Realistically, if I do have kids, I don't see it happening until my 30's because I don't think we'll have the money or resources until then.

But I agree with the fact that 40 is way too late. My parents both had my youngest sister in their 40's, and now they are both way too old to actually responsibly take care of the girl. She basically does whatever she wants. They'll also be too old to help her out with her children when she gets around to having kids.

Title	Women starting families late is hailed as a feminist triumph. Why?
Author	Lady_Motido
Upvotes	17
Comments	11
Date	January 25, 2014 8:18 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1w4z9y/women_starting_families_late_is_hailed_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/women-starting-families-late-is-hailed-as-a.197202 https://theredarchive.com/post/197202

Comments