No more Mr nice guy..

I completed it no more then 1 hour ago and it has shaken me to my core!!!

I will list problems I notice with myself as I have no other place to say these things because I'm a loner, wanna know why I'm a loner? yeah you guessed it I'm a nice guy manipulator...

  • I was a mesher, discovered the red pill and became an avoided.

  • I'm a validation whore. Rian told me this in my last post! And you know what... he was fucking Right!!

  • I'm looking to mirror another person! You know what that's called? Beta.

Now I must list all the things I will do to change this stupidness!

  • STFU, oh because I read a couple things about frame I think I've got it nailed... Yeah right! Don't even know what my fucking frame is! I have a code I live by. My morals and values maybe I look into That!

  • validations.. nope!! How can you take somebody's okay if you yourself don't know weather or not it's good... absolute moron!

  • I will not look for someone else to mirror!! Yes an idol or role model could be good.. when your young, I did not have that. So I must find myself what I like and how I want to make myself happy.

I'm not putting this here for critique or judgement! You do not know me and I do not know You! This is here and hopefully stay here because this is the place I come to when I need to know something. I'm not here to pander or placate to any of you! I'm here for the tools to make my way in my home and job!

I will forgive myself for this in time! I have slipped so far and I will stop this or die trying!

I don't care about alpha beta and what behaviour makes me either one!

I care about my mental health and well being. My activities start here. And there's no going back for me now!

Good day gents. I hope your map to health and happiness is successful!