I have gradually been swallowing the Red Pill for nearly a year. I’ve posted once in ASKMRP, but I learned I needed much more work before posting again. I probably still do.

What I’ve read (including some books not in the SB): NMMNG MMSLP WISNIFG The Rational Male MAP The S 16 Commandments of Poon Still reading The Book of Pook The Way of the Superior Man The 48 Law of Power Listening to Mastery Thinking Fast and Slow The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck How to When Friends and Influence People Sex at Dawn is next Started reading Zen and…I’m not finishing that one

Lifting:

6’ 175 12%-14% BF lean

Some CrossFit

SS 3X5 Squat 265 Bench 180 Deadlift 345

A little about me. I am behavioral therapist and so much of the Red Pill is about behavior, therefore I grasp the concepts relatively well. I realize a lot of guys here started in deadbedrooms, but that was not me. However, there’s not much else that wasn’t blue pill about me. I’m sure most, if not all, of us aren’t exactly devoid of any and all alpha traits, but I would say any that I had were displayed few and far between, and erratically.

Fortunately, my wife has never withheld sex from me. However, I have given her a multitude of reason to not be attracted to me. Lack of leadership is likely the #1 reason for that. I would do some random things here and there to look like a good husband, but all the other beta shit I did nearly ended our marriage. These days she worships my cock, which is what all our women should do, IMO.

My mindset during this Red Pill swallowing time has been focused on being an Oak, and what it takes to be one. This has helped me the most. Ultimately, I need be able to weather the storms that come my way. In order to do this, I have to withstand the breezes and occasional wind gusts (passing shit tests and comfort tests). If I sway at the slightest breeze, I will likely fall when the real storms come.

The easier stuff, like doing things around the house, taking care of our daughter, making decisions on things from finances to where we are eating that night, building confidence, and passing shit and comfort tests helps to maintain frame. They are subtle ways to establish leadership in my family. The hard stuff, like not being a “nice guy”, breaking away from oneitis, not taking my stress out on my family, etc, helps to clarify my path.

For me, it often comes down to frame and walking my own path. Passing shit tests has produced immediate and lasting results for me. I cannot stress enough how important it was/is for me to STFU, especially in these early stages of my transformation. Often time, I will tell my clients about the “3 second rule”. I explain to them that taking 3 seconds to respond to a question or statement allows time for several more thoughts to come to mind, possibly providing them with a more effective response. Talk about not practicing what you preach! It worked wonders for me. Sometimes it was 3 minutes, 3 hours, or even better, 3 days before I would respond certain things. This allows me to improve my responses and move towards disarming conflict more effectively. WISNIFG is great for this.

I’ve been agreeing & amplifying more and I’m seeing more positive results. Frame, man! Fucking frame!

I have a tendency to jump the gun sometimes. I’m not sure where this falls under, but my wife was giving me a pretty big shit test one day. I maintained a smirk on my face until she finished ranting and attempting to tell me what I’m going to do. I simply and gently held her face and said, “Do you really feel charge”? (adopted from Bane). She was instantly in my frame. She lowered her head, place it on my chest, and said “I’m sorry. I trust you”. Frame.

The more difficult thing for me has been gaining a better vision of my path and I’m still very novice to this, as I never effectively lead until now. My mindset is becoming one of “this is my path; you’re welcome to join me on it, but it is not an invitation for to dictate my path”. If you are on my path with me, it is because I allow you to be. This goes for anyone. My wife. My daughter. My mother. Anyone! Sometimes my path is challenging, and since my wife is my co-captain (a very good one), she is affected by these challenges. When these challenges take place, she is most likely to give shit tests because she is either fearful she will lose something she has or is fearful she will not get something she wants. It is my responsibility to condition her responses, which means being the kind of Oak she can depend on. My behavior is meant to reinforce the message I continually give her: I will give what you need and want, but I will give it to you however I see fit.

My wife and I read The Surrendered Wife. She is applying what she read and it is improving her behavior. Granted, my wife has responded extremely well my subtle transformation, which is a testament to MRP, honestly. Does she still give me shit test? Of course. Probably always will. However, the intensity, duration, and frequency of her shit test are decreasing at a nice pace.

Summary

I’m new to MRP and it has already helped a shit ton. I’ve done well to not go Rambo with this shit and I have a shit ton to learn. I’ve read a shit ton of the side and it is changing my life. I lift now and fuck like a champ. My wife worships my cock. She does a lot for me because I establish what I like and don’t like. I reward good behavior and I don’t reward bad behavior (to my knowledge). I didn’t’ come from the bottom or a dead bedroom. My marriage was not like many of the horror stories I read about on here, and that often makes it hard for me to know what I’m doing right or wrong.

Passing shit tests has proven to be a most effective skill to have. Not showing anger is a great first step for me followed by STFU, to onward. Trying new skills here and there can be awkward for me, but I do it anyway and I work to master those skills. All this helps to maintain the ever-important frame in our relationship. In all my relationships, really. Consistently working towards gaining insight to and clarifying my path is vital to my role as a leader and to be the best Oak I can be. However, none of this is possible without action.