Hi All,

Posting in MRP as I feel better advice and level headedness here. Not married now - recent breakup.

History ( part Victim Puke ): 10 years together, 8 years married - 2 boys under 6 Discovered MRP and RP early Feb this year - changed my life ( Thanks ) and started gym ( Stronglifts ) and applying RP Principals, reading sidebar and relevant books, and applying game on my wife - thought it was working, however 2 weeks later she left ( no discussion - no explanation - I just got " I dont love you anymore" ) - whether it was because of my sudden changes and she noticed not sure - but she had already checked out.

However prior to this - she also left in December of 2015 stating she wasnt happy - blamed everything on me( insert Mega Blue Pill me trying to fix everything through reason and logic ) I had noticed prior to this that she was acting differently - new friends, hiding her phone, staying up late to do her crafts but I could hear her texting on phone ( putting her phone down quickly if I came into room ), going to fitness classes bla blah blah and more ( all the possible signs of branch swinging were there ) I started smoking dope cause I was pretty sure what was going on and I was to Blue Pill to confront it ( have quit dope entirely - was never a big smoker to begin with ), yeah so she left, came back for a week then left again stating that she wasnt sure what she wanted.

Went into full rage mode being so butthurt blah blah blah and did all the Blue Pill things you shouldnt do. Blue Pill me just wanted my special snowflake back ( isn't it funny how much you put up with when you have pussy on a pedestal ). Confronted her about her cheating - she denied it and couldnt look at me why doing so. Confronted her again a few days later and asked for the truth - again denial - I asked her to take a lie detector test - you should have seen the look on her face - she goes " I dont need this and ran off " - to me this was the proof of branch swinging. If I trust my intuition/instinct to me its pretty much 100% she cheated, however I had no physical evidence at this stage - just intuition and past experience

Stupid Blue Pill me wanted her back.Eventually we agreed to counselling to get back. What a fucking waste of almost $7000 that was ( kill all Marriage Counsellors right ? ) To cut it short I did everything that my wife and counsellor asked me to do to keep my wife happy - more chores, take her out, romance her again ( I get this bit - I got lazy and complacent ), Wife admitted to being switched off towards me as emotionally invested in her friend ( ie: she was getting her feelings and emotional side met through ehr friend and not via me ) - felt it was going awesome and it really was - goods sex ( best HJ's she had ever given - her initiating ), happy wife, doing things together, all up until about 2 weeks before she left.

While we were back together I had to check her phone - Texts were complete and utter disrespect about me to her mum and her best friend although I was doing everything she wanted ( her mum and friend were calling me an asshole, loser, and worse )- not going into full details but I was shocked that she was so two-faced. In one of these texts to her friend ( amongst many deleted texts??? ) where she and her friend were complaining about men, she stated " Maybe we should go full lesbian then " - BANG - hit to the guts. Her friend replies " No - I still like the cock also blah blah blah " - Now to me, unless you have experienced some sort of relationship with that person like that, you dont say that, you would say something like " maybe we should turn lezzo ". Me and my guy friends joke and say " Ill just turn gay ", I dont say, " maybe I should go full gay " - does this insuate that she had intimate relations with her friend ?? ( during the time I thought she was cheating I did think it was either one particular guy or this best friend )

Still- I wanted to keep my wife. She denied it again through counselling and by then I had doubts. Separately I was told by counsellor that it was more than likely she did, but if I wanted her back to let it slide. Guess what I did - yep BP me let it slide. So back to when she left early this year - I noticed she had the same red flags again - switched off, no affection, angry, hiding her phone etc. This time as I had been reading RP, I confronted her and asked whats wrong. She replied " Im done, I dont love you anymore and I dont want to talk about " - packed her bags, took the boys and left.

Thanks to reading RP and ask MRP, I did not chase her this time knowing it was over completely, and that she had crossed boundaries and disrespected me and my morals etc. I was upset, I was angry, however RP got me through.

This Monday my son told me that she already had a new boyfriend ( he was probably already the option and why she left - she has major anxiety and insecurity issues and always need validation ) and that he is already sleeping over and kissing mummy, ( She lives with her mum and dad and we both share kids through the week ) - Got a sick feeling in my stomach.

Funny thing is, we are going through Family Dispute Resolution to sort custody of the boys ( arguing about what days we want them - before it may turn ugly and go to court - FDR required in my country ), and the reading says that neither parent should introduce new partners to children for at least sixth months. As I said - felt sick in the stomach feeling like I had lost her, and upset that she moved on so quick ( hypergamy ? ). Was feeling sorry for myself and trying to convince myself that it didnt matter, that she is not my problem any more ( ie: doesn't belong to you, its only your turn etc..)

Anyway - last night, everything in the Red Pill clicked and fuck me it hurt - I bawled my eyes out and had the greatest epiphany of the RED PILL - the realization that IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT - what a bitter pill to swallow and probably the hardest lesson to learn ( fuck - only took 40+ years ) - I feel the best I have for the last year and a half - no sick feeling in gut cos I lost my snowflake, and with more determination the continue on the RP journey

I get it now - time to apply it to become the best I can. ITS MY FAULT was the best self-realization that I needed

Thanks Guys