On pregnants

WhiteTrashKiller · 2015-12-27T03:12:22+00:00

What it means is you double down on you and pass an extra comfort test or two for 30 weeks straight. It means you cannot track her cycle(there is none). It means sex is there for you but it is" tell me I am beautiful first" sex. It means your mind reading skills will be tested.

The downfall however is that as her body morphs into something she despises any increase of your SMV will be twofold. The cheating accusations will increase, the pleas for you to not go to the gym will come about.

Ignore and double down on you...

ford_contour · 2015-12-27T03:37:46+00:00

Basically, just take it extra slow because she's fragile.

The advice for when the wife is pregnant is solid for other times, but not as necessary.

If, in theory, you knew what you were doing - providing the perfect mix of excitement and comfort, then the advice would be identical regardless.

Since none of us is perfect, those with pregnant wives are advised to err far on the side of caution and comfort.

The pregnancy and newbornness are very temporary parts of a marriage that can be a long term investment.

tl;dr - Don't play high stakes or cash out during what is known to be a fragile but temporary time for the relationship. There's no real need to.

akkyle23 · 2015-12-27T03:37:17+00:00

There's a really good post that should show up with some searching regarding oak moves during pregnancy.

I have a ten month old daughter. I avoided dread above above level six and I sparingly used time conditions from level 4. Be the oak, and own it. Research all of the shit that goes into having the responsibility of a child.

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392499/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451186831&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains+book+2016

This is a great book for knowing all of the stuff you need and all of things to say no to. Trust me, my FO wanted all sorts of shit that her hormone induced mind was telling her that she needed.

Sign up for a baby CPR class and take the lead on it.

I made time for the gym. 4 days a week minimum. There is no exception to that rule. Do not waiver on this. Time management is a skill that a successful father will have in spades.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-12-27T17:29:27+00:00

All bets are off means that Dread Game is a bad idea and Advanced Dread Game is verbotten.

It doesn't mean you "quit lifting" but it may mean that you don't START lifting (aka Level 2 Dread) until the pregnazoid passes. So don't "return" to betadom but be very careful of starting any type of Dread (including lifting weights/fitness etc) but do what you can up to the limit of her freaking out. Definitely avoid building a busy wife and suddenly starting to hit the bars at night or even being more unavailable to your wife (Level3). Be very careful about conditioning your availability to your wife with her sexual receptivity to you (Level 4) and I would argue DON'T DO IT. It may work for you and for your marriage but I don't think it will usually work.

adamalan · 2015-12-28T07:42:37+00:00

There are two things going on here.

First, her hormones will be changing and potentially getting out of whack. This means more drama, more sensitive, more crazy illogical nuttiness. This will likely be worse for girls than boys.

Personally my wife is pretty laid back logical low drama. Pregnancy is about the only time she acts dramatic crazy like many here describe daily. Sometimes she'll just get crazy irrational emotional and I have to ignore her and then a day or two later she's saying to me, 'what the hell came over me?'.

Second, she hurts, she's sick, her organs are being displaced and squished, she waddles like a duck and her body is getting distended out of shape. She does not feel sexy at all. All the worse if she gains weight. She doesn't feel sexy so she won't get tingles. And since tingles = love she doesn't love you right now; all the more so considering YOU DID THIS TO ME!

Now every women is different and every pregnancy is different. Sometimes it can lead to increased sex. Sometimes.

And nothing is more vulnerable than a pregnant woman. Excellent time to play that big strong protector role.

Does she trust you? Can you just hold her and calm her storms? Does she feel calmer and more grounded when you're around? Does your very presence move her? That will all come in handy in the labor room. Fear = pain.

vox_veritas · 2015-12-28T15:41:31+00:00

My wife is about 37 1/2 weeks in with our first (a son). These are my personal observations, and of course YMMV:

Sex is not much different. The frequency has gone down just a bit, but interestingly enough, it is my wife who will bring it up every once in a while. "Why don't you want to have sex with me as much?" She also initiates a lot more, which is nice. Some people say that with pregnant sex (at least when she's showing pretty clearly), you have to tell her she's beautiful all the time. For me, that has only been the case once or twice during her pregnancy. Positions are limited at this point, but that's only been going on for a month or so.
There are more tests, but they are more often of the comfort variety. I had to recalibrate after the first two or three months, because I was responding a little too harshly to what I perceived to be shit tests. In reality, they were comfort tests. Look, we can say AWALT with shit tests and everything, but if we fancy ourselves amateur scientists (or sociologists/psychologists/whatever), then let's admit the fact that her hormones are raging and she is extremely emotional. You have to really keep a keen eye out and discern between shit- and comfort- tests. I say cut her some slack during the pregnancy, inversely proportional to how far out her due date is.
One other piece of advice I would give is to take control of the baby budget ASAP. You don't have to have every damn thing to cover every possible scenario with a baby. The spending can get out of hand very quickly. Thankfully, my wife and I both have relatively large families, and she had three (!) baby showers where we were given way too much stuff, saving us a few thousand bucks at least.

Title	On pregnants
Author	rpd3zen
Upvotes	15
Comments	7
Date	December 27, 2015 2:15 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3ycpf2/on_pregnants/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/on-pregnants.200545 https://theredarchive.com/post/200545

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