Recently I went through a hard time with my wife as documented in previous posts and things are improving as I continue to work on myself and get things righted around here. One of my big things I let go of when I met her and we committed to each other was that I used to be a huge flirt. I'm in an industry dominated my attractive women, and as a result am completely comfortable being around women that are fit and attractive and outgoing. Therefore I learned the art of flirting. As my marriage and relationship progressed I let that side of things go, but now I'm ramping it back up again. I'm going to use it to create passive dread but also keep my confidence up and work on my charisma.

To me, flirting is an art form. It takes being able to read the other person quite well in terms of how they react to what you say and how they obviously perceive your SMV. It takes a lot of skill to push and pull as pickup artists do, but without any intention of actually taking the girl home or doing anything inappropriate. In fact, it can take skill to push an edge just far enough that some women don't feel you have crossed the line, while some women will let you blatantly jump over the line and stomp all over it without a problem.

We talk a lot about tingles and flirting is a great way to see if you have the skill and charisma to give a woman tingles that you have no intentions over. It can be subtle or blatant. It can be used to generate dread or simply work on your skills with the opposite sex.

Just yesterday I had a consultation with a woman I knew previously and her and I always had strong sexual chemistry (before I was married) so I decided to turn on the flirt meter and see what I could make happen. By the time we were done not only was she signing up for new services but I received a very provocative text message on my way home (and she's married as well).

So my message today is to challenge yourself to flirt more. Friends are an obvious one, but even people you interact with on a daily basis at work (just be careful), out running errands, or even when you're at the park or your kids' sporting events. Witty observations, innuendo and even genuine compliments are all common ways to do this, but it does require practice and refinement. I hope this helps some of you dads and married guys get back some of the confidence you might have lost like I did.