Newbie with a quick question.

Redneck001 · 2015-10-05T17:51:24+00:00

"You have been moody and won't say what's on your mind. You are being such a chicken and not a man for not telling me what's on your mind."

Translation: There is a disturbance in the force, and I can't read you (or hear you blather on like usual). It makes me uncomfortable, so if I get upset, you'll get back in the box I keep you in.

Keep lifting, keep reading, and keep your damn mouth shut. This is likely the greatest compliment she has paid you in years.

As you get more comfortable with her testing you, the "chicken" remark was begging for AM.

[deleted] · 2015-10-05T18:19:15+00:00

Chicken? I got your cock right here

just sayin

0io- · 2015-10-05T17:47:20+00:00

I would take that as her initiating sex. Especially the calling you chicken and jibes at your manhood. Tell her you have a one-track mind and you've been thinking about sex all the time lately.

Could you follow her up to the bedroom or was her breaking the grip a "hard no"?

Are you in a dead-bedroom situation? To me, her coming over out of the blue and starting something and demanding to know what's on your mind means basically "I'm bored, let's make out or have a fight."

Leaving and going to the gym is probably a pretty decent default move if there was no way to turn her anger and frustration into sexual arousal.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-10-05T18:27:25+00:00

Is this a shit test or comfort test?

Mostly comfort but more accurately this is a woman who suddenly has got the Dread. Manage it right and watch her turn into a slut desperate to please you.

Did I play my card right by just going to the gym?

How could you go wrong going to the gym? More importantly, what did you do when you got back? A little affection and escalation along with a total dismissal of her fee-fees is what you need. Agree and amplify, do NOT buy into the idea you have been aloof. THIS is the new reality and I would just gaslight the fuck out of her on that point and continue to escalate to sex.

TLDR: Strap yourself in Dorothy, cuz Kansas is going bye-bye.

Rasalom72 · 2015-10-05T17:51:22+00:00

You need to frame everything she does as if it's coming from a six year old. She threw a tantrum, and you need to calmly set her straight. Tell her that storming off is not acceptable, and that if she wants to talk, then she has to stay and talk... and that you will not be chasing her.

Also, you need to tell her that you are not "moody", but that you "are thinking man thoughts" and she doesn't need to worry about that. If she presses you, you need to start using A&A, or AM. When she asks what you are thinking about, you can say something like "coming on your tits", or "Thinking about Tony, where he is, who he's with, is he thinking about me, and if he'll return someday" (that only works for me cause the wife knows Kids in the Hall)...

At this early stage, most of the tests will be shit tests. She is scared you are not going to be her BB anymore and she might actually have to deal with a "REAL MAN" gasp...

Keep reading, and don't get sucked into her frame. Be the OAK. You're the captain of your ship and if she wants to continue to ride on YOUR ship, then she has to bring enough to the table to be worthy of the role of First Officer.

[deleted] · 2015-10-05T17:51:51+00:00

This belongs at r/askmrp.

This was a shit test.

You're not describing any history other than this is the first time she's had this reaction to your new approach. This sounds like it's her first challenge to you; and first time challenges tend to be shit tests, i.e. congruence test. "Congruence" meaning her thinking to herself "is this really him? Has he really changed? Can I shake up his frame by pushing on it?"
Shit test because she called you "chicken". Name calling is shit test language. Challenges to a man's authenticity, courage and character are shit tests.

Yes, going to the gym and letting her go was the right move. Next time she shit tests, don't say or do anything. Don't grab her wrist or try to pull you to her. Don't respond to a shit test with demonstrations of comfort. Respond to a shit test by saying nothing or by leaving for a few hours.

RPcoyote · 2015-10-05T21:33:32+00:00

Sounds like a shit test to me. Remember you be the oak, the rock. She's the fucking weather, sometimes stormy sometimes sunny and clear. Don't get phased, let her come back to you and when she does treat her like the king treats a pussy cat who's been going out doing its cat thing. Don't disparage her, but smile, pet her and give her a good pounding in the sack like she badly needs. You have more important things to do than worry about the cat's state or its whereabouts.

And yes, sometimes she may throw all kinds of tantrums (mine sheduled couples therapy which I steadfastly refused to partake in). And you'll learn over time: 1. What to ignore/handle with amused mastery; 2. what to address and correct on the spot (ie blatant disrespectful comments/ actions? Nuke and never tolerate); and 3. what to treat as genuine searches for love&comfort.

[deleted] · 2015-10-05T23:57:42+00:00

Its a shit test from a woman who is no longer comfortable. Press forward and reward her good behavior.

"Bad behavior doesnt work anymore babe, I grew a pair"

itsgavinc · 2015-10-05T19:54:15+00:00

Your next purchase can be The Rational Male by Rollo. In it he says "Human beings need predictability--it gives them a sense of control over others. When you alter yourself...this is a threat to that predictability, so the logical counter is for others to attempt to put us back into our places. Shaming comes as a natural tactic for women, but the push is always to get you back into their frame."

You unplugging has altered yourself. It makes things uncomfortable for those around you. When determining the appropriate response, remember that your wife is the most responsible teenager in the house.

Look at her wording, it's a shit test for sure. "YOU have been moody. YOU are being a chicken." For being new you handled this well. STFU and continue on with your life.

Title	Newbie with a quick question.
Author	Blackrhino1979
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	October 5, 2015 5:36 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3nlkgp/newbie_with_a_quick_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/newbie-with-a-quick-question.200916 https://theredarchive.com/post/200916

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