So, this is a follow-up to a previous thread. I got a lot of good general advice, but I’m stuck on a certain aspect of the problem.

My wife has a male friend who she has known for a very long time. They’ve been close friends online but because he lives several states away, they haven’t spent much face-to-face time with each other apart from many years back before we got together. She thinks of him as a brother — I know, I know — but she’s so sold on the concept that she regularly refers to him AS her brother, and he in turn calls her his sister.

They talk a LOT. I’ve shown jealousy towards him in the past, and it’s naturally come off as insecure and has exploded in my face. She has always sworn that I have nothing to worry about. Now, with our marriage on the rocks and her acting far more distant to me than ever, she’s going to him for emotional support and relationship advice. To my knowledge, their conversations aren’t necessarily flirty, but I suspect it's much more affectionate than is appropriate. If she weren’t completely turned off to me at the moment, I might have an easier time bringing this up.

The two ideas I'm running with right now are to either continue to ignore it and keep running the MAP, or attempt to lead her towards being sympathetic to the idea of "emotional affairs" being inherently wrong and then follow up with what I know.

Any advice on how I should approach this would be very greatly appreciated.