Mods: if this is better suited to AskMRP let me know and I'll move it.

TLDR: Outcome Independence (OI) works.

Background: Been lurking, reading the prerequisites, slowly implementing stuff. I'm still overweight, haven't started lifting yet, but I have a plan to start when I get back from my next business trip, but my appearance definitely isn't generating any tingles yet.

Details: The wife and I were laying in bed watching TV last night. I'd been flirty/ass grabby all day, more so then usual because she was wearing this short little casual dress that absolutely shows off her best features. So I'm sliding my hand up her thighs, slipping under the dress, and her legs are shut and she's not budging. I get a little playful, tickle her a little, work my way back up there, and she's still "closed."

Normally as my hands worked their way up there she'd open up a little for me giving me access. This time she's not doing that, and her body language is making it clear she's not interested. In the past I would have done 101 beta things (rub her back, rub her feet, ask if anything is bothering her, etc.), all with the covert contract that it would lead to sex and then been in a bad/pissy mood when I didn't get sex.

This time I just bounced up from the bed, went and took care of some shit around the house (obviously not upset or pissy about anything just doing what needs to be done). I was gone about 30-45 minutes when I came back to bed. I switch the TV to another show we like to watch together and pick up a book to read while the TV is essentially just background noise.

I wasn't back in bed 5 minutes and she'd shifted her body so I could clearly see up her dress and had shifted into an easy access position for me at the same time. I shifted my book so I was still reading with one hand and let my other had slide up her thigh, I had just barely brushed her panties when the first moans escaped her lips.

Needless to say I didn't finish the book, nor could I tell you how the TV show ended.

Lesson learned: OI really does work. For the 1st time in a long time I truly wasn't upset that I wasn't going to get sex, and I came back to bed fully prepared to keep doing my own thing and expecting nothing had changed. My OI seemed to flip a switch in her and we had some of the best sex we've had in a while.