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Day 4 - Cautious Optimism

ThatOtherMarriedGuy
July 28, 2015
3 upvotes
/r/MarriedRedPill
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Post Information
Title Day 4 - Cautious Optimism
Author

ThatOtherMarriedGuy
Upvotes 3
Comments 10
Date July 28, 2015 4:17 AM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3euyt7/day_4_cautious_optimism/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/day-4-cautious-optimism.201344
https://theredarchive.com/post/201344
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Comments

[–]jacktenofheartsMarried MRP APPROVED1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey man - really happy to see this.

Just keep doing you, man. One step a time.

Continue to move towards a "delegation of duties" model for basic household work. Your wife cleans, you did errands outside the house. Nobody's stepping on each other's toes, everyone is just doing what they're good at.

Re: church, I'd start to slowly transition that to some other family bonding time. Take your kids to a park and go for a hike that sort of thing. You don't need to revel in the lord's creation at a church sermon. Doesn't need to be an abrupt transition, but you only have so many hours to spend with your family in the weekend and losing a big block of that time to church is a drag.

Re: Amazon, you should move to some sort of financial budget where you and your wife have discretionary money pools. This way there's no account to hijack. If she wants to buy something, it comes out of her pool. Just an idea, but the whole "add structure to your family and then let your wife operate within that" seems to be working well so far.

Keeo it up buddy. You know I'm rooting for you.

[–]strategos_autokratorMan, Married, Mod1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

We do not allow people to do day by day updates as they unplug.

It is just little self-awareness, to much seeking validation. v I'm going to delete this. Please, lurk more, post in the weekly Own Your Shit posts instead for a while. Something I recommend personally is to keep a diary.

Unplugging takes a long time, they say to expect one month per year of marriage to see changes. In a month, read back at the diary, and you will see how much insecurity and hamster you had back in the day, and will grow stronger from it. But for now, post less frequently.

[–]ThatOtherMarriedGuy 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I don't agree with this policy but I will honor it.

[–]thisisme00071 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

First of all, glad things are going well for you.

We share a special bond in that /u/jacktenofhearts kicked both of us in the teeth to get us on the right track.

You agreed in your initial thread that you would post no more than weekly, and only valuable content.

Then you came out with these daily updates.

I suggest you do some introspection on why you did that, as this should help you in your journey.

Good luck.

[–]ThatOtherMarriedGuy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You agreed in your initial thread that you would post no more than weekly, and only valuable content. Then you came out with these daily updates. I suggest you do some introspection on why you did that, as this should help you in your journey.

I honestly don't remember anyone telling me to post weekly or less and I don't remember agreeing to that.

But if I did, I just forgot about it.

In any event, I will abide by the policy. Thanks.

[–]thisisme00070 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I must be confusing you with someone else. Your reply though makes me think that WISNIFG has arrived and you are reading it.

[–]strategos_autokratorMan, Married, Mod0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I want to point out that we also discourage weekly updates. OYS threads are for this.

The key is that these period updates are a bit too self-indulgent and beta always. We should post when we have something important to say. Sometimes, this thing is when we struggle with a concept and have a very well defined question, and these questions add to the community by creating good discussions. Other times is when we have a breakthrough and get something, and want to share that to help others.

[–]thisisme00070 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you. I must be confusing OP with another new poster. There was someone recently who started "live blogging" and was set straight in the comments to post valuable content not just regular updates.

[–]strategos_autokratorMan, Married, Mod0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for understanding. Please, go ahead with specific focused questions (as detailed in the guidelines and FAQ) and feel free to write in the OYS threads.

[–]ThatOtherMarriedGuy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you.

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