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jacktenofhearts Archive

View 3 posts and 626 comments by jacktenofhearts on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community. PDF version
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3

Here are the comments I think you're talking about. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/41b2qf/need_some_married_redpill_advice/cz2cqy0?context=3
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 09:21 PM
7

You should probably mention your LTR is functionally your common law wife, whom you have kids with. You'd likely get less advice telling you to hard next her, since she's not just some girl you've been dating for a year and half, which LTR implies. You'd also get less advice that labels you a faggot, since most of those guys regret ever signing that marriage license, and you never did. I would have actually approached Chad, said something like, "I'm Jack, heard a lot of good things about you, le…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 02:12 AM
4

Got some new projects in life, mainly helping my sister's husband get a new business off the ground. Needed to make some selected budget cuts in recreational time, MRP ended up on the chopping block for now. That and two weeks ago, I pump-faked some 25 year old out of his shoes and drove left on him for an easy layup.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 02:20 PM
10

He's absolutely an autistic faggot. He said it himself. "When I imagine celebrating with my wife, it involves being physically intimate." Well, she doesn't. Sex is still some fucking favor for him, something she feels she does out of her own magnanimous gratitude. He might as well have asked her to pluck the hairs on his back. Sure, she might be charitable enough to do it from time to ttime, but those times are unlikely to be a day she's celebrating a major accomplishment. OPs entire response wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 06:40 AM
12

"Listen, I am sick of this disrespectful shit. You decided to keep this behavior going after disrespecting me in front of one of your fellow co- workers in your office six months ago. This is going to stop now." Welcome to Phase 2. I find it a little unfortunate you glossed over these issues and focused so much on your sex life. Clearly her disrespect for you reflected an overall low opinion. Destroying that disrespect opens up a gateway for her to actually be attracted to you. If your wife whin…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 12:22 AM
8

I am not the best communicator with my wife. There is a background to this which I won’t go in detail here, but maybe this is probably something I should be following up as a goal on ‘OYS’. You say, by your own admission, you suck at communicating with your wife. Your wife is upset, repeatedly, at a lack of communication. Your wife's solution to this is for you to text her more during the day. You find this unpleasant, so you pretty much sandwich, nope not doing that! around some levity (AA, AM,…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 10:53 AM
3

OK, the cluster B stuff. If there's a pattern in all my advice, you'll notice a lot of quotes. A lot of canned monologues to throw at your wife. Compare that to a more archetypical marriage you'll see from an MRP noob, which may sound something like, "my wife mostly just lets me do whatever the fuck I want, she just won't let me fuck her." That guy doesn't need canned monologues, he doesn't have a boundary problem. In fact, his wife's lack of attraction is very likely because she sees how, in re…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 02:36 AM
5

Well, aren't you in a cute little pickle. Look, from all appearances your wife clearly has some Cluster-B shit going on, but you're not nearly at the point where it even matters. You tried to set a boundary, your wife freaked out and took it out on people that weren't even you, then tried to guilt you that you somehow inspired this behavior. When she feels like shit she takes it out on everyone in the family and usually pulls everyone into her horrible frame. She usually pulls everyone into her …
/r/askMRP27/04/16 02:36 AM
2

Perhaps one of our JDs on MRP can correct me, but isn't Common Law marriage in the US is a lot more restricted? All except 9 US states literally do not recognize Common Law marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 11:47 AM
4

OK, stop doing this. Of course you're bored with this girl, she's clearly melded her entire identity to yours. She's never interesting or spontaneous. You say you like the "predictability" of LTRs, so I assume you at least partially encouraged this. But all this does is get you a sequence of boring girlfriends. Then you'll meet a girl who is "fiery" and "exciting" and be so excited to meet a girl with a cool personality that you'll surrender all boundaries to her. Shell dominate your social life…
/r/askMRP25/04/16 06:13 PM
7

My best friend is a guy named Dave. I've known this guy since junior high. Dave had a ping-pong table in his basement. We used to play, a lot. It got pretty competitive. Then it got angrily competitive. I remember he had some shitty paddles, and eventually there was only one good paddle. His basement also didn't have a huge amount of space, and since we were both right-handed, being on one side of the table was better for our forehand than the other. So it sort of evolved into this retarded game…
/r/askMRP25/04/16 05:47 PM
2

Fuck. This is brilliant. Keep the shit in balance, tipped slightly in your favor When the Dread starts getting to your wife and she says, "it's like I don't even know you anymore" and especially "are you having an affair?" it's akin to her being a Greek resident who is wondering if her Euros are going to be worth dogshit. The net sentiment is: Are you changing currencies on me? Do I need to do something to prevent myself from having fistfuls of worthless paper money? This is exactly why too much…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 02:29 AM
5

ROUND 3 - FIGHT! JACK WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY! FINISH HIM! In all seriousness, I doubt anything I ever said sent Cad into such distressed convulsions that he deleted his account. But I'm just gonna predict this. Cad thought I made a good point about him fucking around too much on Reddit. So he figured he could delete his account, force himself to stop wasting time cold turkey, and come back a few weeks later claiming some SJWs at /r/TheBluePill tried to dox him. Then he can truly be the hero that…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 09:55 PM
7

Does this make you the anti PC police? Dude, don't worry about "the edge of where you and I don't see eye to eye." You have a week off before you start your new job, right? These gaps are precious free time in most of our working lives, so why not do something more productive or constructive with your time, then worry about whether I'm not explicitly arguing in favor of power dynamics to your liking? MRP isn't going anywhere, surely you have better things to do than spend this much time on Reddi…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 07:19 PM
11

The purpose of the metaphor is to calibrate your actions with women. Many men here struggle because theyve put women on a pedestal. This manifests as being overly empathetic, doing everything they can to prevent their unique and beautiful snowflake of a girlfriend or a wife from ever expressing distress and anxiety. But if you had a sister, chances are you didn't do that. She was an androgynous entity to you, and so when she was annoying you while you were doing homework, and you told her to lea…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 04:50 PM
1

Yeah I completely agree. I'd say it doesn't even need to be 100% consistent, it just can't be in complete contradiction to actual reality. I just think because 'stay calm and stoic when your wife is going apeshit' is usually one way to maintain frame, some guys on MRP think 'being calm = maintaining frame' even while Donald Trump is in mid-cuck with their wives.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 02:46 PM
6

Look, if you're going to come here with your pretentious French bullshit saying all women aren't shitty whores, then there's the door. Here's a challenge for you, if you care. I also sort of eye roll at these posts that are basically, "no really, women are complete simpletons and mostly just vehicles of raw emotional discharge." The best way to 'counter-argue' is not that your hallowed saint of a wife (literally) was Not Like That, but to point out everything here is mostly true of men as well. …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 08:23 AM
5

This is a chemical burn. My ltr recently broke up with me. I had fell into some very beta things as I fell hard for this one. It will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar. I'm still reeling a little from the breakup. Stay with the pain, don’t block this out. Anyways, I still love her but stop talking to her after the breakup. Look at your hand. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkeys shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice, we …
/r/askMRP22/04/16 07:58 AM
17

-- So. The net conclusion is you probably can't "teach" your wife how to be less of a Shit Testing control freak (because she has no agency in her life) and more of feminine companion (because she has no idea how to do that anyway). But you can definitely guide and influence it. What I'm trying to do here, is to give you some advice so you may avoid you giving us another 'FR' where you talk about how your wife was a bitch again and you didn't care, and meanwhile you played at another square danc…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 06:32 AM
3

We are twins! (you can be Arnie, I always liked DeVito) Aw man, I get to be Arnie? OK, I can now forgive you for calling me 72-offsuit. I've taken shots to the nuts less painful than that insult. Anyway, so, u/sexyshoulderdevil raised a great point about this "Phase 1, Phase 2" progression I talked about in another comment. And I think /u/2gunsgetsome and his Epic MAP is a great example of that progression. Look at his Day 1. Dude needed to write down "I no longer ask for permission to spend my …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 05:58 AM
1

That's a great example. It's probably better for MRP if we have more conversations like these and fewer of the ones we typically have. I'm going to think about that.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 04:58 AM
11

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subj: Spreadsheets Can you file a 72 page motion so we can get an injunction on these spreadsheets? The fucking DA office won't prosecute shit so we're going to have to go the civil route on this one. Also, if we draw Judge /u/BluePillProfessor as the judge on this one, file for a change of venue. That guy fucking loves spreadsheets. See if you can get us moved to Har…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 04:49 AM
19

-- My personal opinion that any woman who tries to find agency entirely through motherhood... is miserable. Being a SAHM sucks* for exercising executive function. It's the difference between a "line department" and "staff department" at a company. It's really hard to feel agency in staff departments, since it's mostly just repetitive operations. You're a janitor, you clean all the shit in the corporate office bathroom, just in time for all the workers to file back in in the morning and shit that…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 04:29 AM
16

/u/2gunsgetsome -- as with everyone else, I really liked your revised post on MRP, and I really like this one too. I've repeatedly tried to compare a marriage to professional relationships in all my comments. Professional relationships have overt and covert power dynamics, just like marriages. Ideally, you obtain such high stature in either that you don't have to even care about them, and you can kind of be this magnanimous badass that everyone has undying love but also unwavering respect for at…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 04:29 AM
26

Your wife is not indifferent. She is literally incompetent at being the sexually seductive feminine wife that you want. Seriously. Her mom is a highly functional and completely unfeminine woman. You say your wife's friends are also unattractive, probably the same description. At least part of why your wife became a STEM-lady was she wouldn't have to be surrounded with stylish and personable women who surely thought she was a boring frump. See, we don't just want wives enthusiastic about sex, we …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 03:17 AM
1

OK I don't disagree with anything you said here. But let me offer another example. We were driving to a park and planned to go on a hike. Unfortunately I made a wrong turn at some point and got turned around. My wife started getting agitated and yelled at me to use Google Maps on my phone. I maintained frame and told her to relax, I got this. A few minutes later she got upset that we were still lost and tried to pull up directions on her phone. She asked me for the address and I maintained frame…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 02:02 AM
3

What frame? Calmness is an expression of frame. Your frame may be "When I drive without a GPS, I know where I'm going If I didn't know, then I'd use one. If my passengers don't like that, thei rproblem." Then yes, acting calm is maintaining frame. Your frame also be, "I don't know exactly where I'm going, but I do know the hiking trails are up ahead. This is a hike. It's an adventure. We don't need to end up at our destination with the exact latitude and longitude as planned. It's fun. Maybe I'l…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 10:27 PM
6

If I had to really guess - we both contribute a lot here. We both have a few nope this is doing Red Pill WRONG! ideas. There's some opposition to those ideas. I suppose I keep prompting Stoney to play Devil's Devil's Advocate, so maybe we'll come up with some Grand Unified Theory of MRP that ties the knot on all the fucking paradoxes that bug me. "Kill your ego" vs "irrational confidence." When you're here long enough you notice that it doesn't take much to influence the thematic ideas. 2014 we …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 02:41 PM
4

No snark here. My previous comment was actually meant to be facetious. I was, essentially, irrationally confident that I could somehow argue against your ideas while simultaneously stating that I didn't care for them anyway. Clearly, this was a mostly retarded idea. It would seem I was not acting irrationally confident, but I simply was irrationally confident. I do think this is a useful distinction that's worth discussing. What's the distinction here? How do you control your ego internally whil…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 01:16 PM
3

I had the irrational confidence that I could show MRP how little I cared for Stoney's opinion by arguing against it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 11:07 AM
1

if i had to bet money, i'd bet stone's oversimplified binary messages are more effective in creating change in people who want to change versus the detail orientated breadth of information you provide. Oh, I don't doubt this at all. I'm sure he gets more upvotes, pageviews, clicks, whatever metric of "engagement" you'd want to use. People don't like to read, they especially don't like to read several thousand words of some other guy's bullshit. by providing too much information and contingencies…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 10:22 PM
0

Or are you the guy who chose confidence over competence and dared greatly? Has it occurred to you that this does not have to be a binary decision?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 07:18 PM
-4

Oh, you're referring to this? Yes, I'm done pretending that your ideas, juxtaposed against mine, make us some sort of virtuous "team of rivals" that makes MRP a better place. So there's no longer any point in indulging this "tomato-tomahtoh" dynamic between us. We clearly aren't very aligned on how we view Red Pill, which would be fine, if you didn't repeatedly keeps projecting your own shit like "We disagree on a lot... I assume it's because of a trait we both have, where we assume we are smart…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 07:14 PM
-4

I know it's really hard to find a fictional character who acted with unbridled enthusiasm and didn't get shot. You literally wrote 1500 words urging guys to act with irrational confidence, as they assuredly had their competence on lock down and any second-guessing was to their detriment. And yet you end with an example of a guy who faces negative repercussions because he very much was not competent. So that feeling in our gut that tells us, wait, you sure you want to do that? When is it counterp…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 05:49 PM
1

Tell your family they can't come unless they apologize to your wife's family. Seriously, the only thing preventing both families from reaching a neutral detente is your mother and sisters acting like stubborn assholes. Your wife's family does sound like mewling whiners, but they'd save their whining for some day after a big performance they're showing up to support. I suspect if your dad was alive, this wouldn't have happened. Either he would have put you on the black sheep family blacklist and …
/r/askMRP19/04/16 04:02 PM
9

Say you had a boss who always gave you shit. You'd be really annoyed, right? Fuck, it's one thing after another with this guy, I can never make it happy. Then one day your boss stops doing that. Gradually withdraws his actions to the bare minimum. You do your tasks, you finish early. You ask your boss if you need anything else done. Your boss just says cryptically, "if you can't think of anything else you should be doing, then no." You continue working like this. You're done by lunch time every …
/r/askMRP19/04/16 10:36 AM
23

Suffice to say that if you think my deconstruction of your whole shitshow of a Victim Puke was accurate, then the actionable advice here is pretty straightforward. Stop acting enervating. Start acting energizing. The similarity of these statements to "Be Attractive. Don't be Unattractive" is intentional. Once you've grasped that, start offering her -- and the other people in your life -- the escape from the bullshit that they'll love you for. Your ideas to gradually withdraw your attention and a…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 08:08 AM
18

That's my theory, anyway. Your wife was the kind of active, Type-A personality that likes running her life as a well-oiled machine. As you progressively had more kids, this became harder and harder to do. She would mentally beat herself up over this. She'd even verbally beat herself up over this, but I would imagine you had several conversations when you told her to shut the fuck up about sending Christmas cards, you're both too busy to send them out so you should just skip them this year. That …
/r/askMRP19/04/16 07:25 AM
23

At the same time, she has started complaining incessantly over how tired she is, and how tired her life and our kids make her. In the past, I've whined to her about never prioritizing me, and spending all of her energy on other people. This is blue pill as fuck, and wont happen again. She is not spending all of her energy on other people. She is receiving energy from other people. Surely you're familiar with this experience. You have plans to meet a friend for happy hour after work. But you didn…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 06:20 AM
4

Stoney, while its cute you think we're some sort of team of philosophical rivals, you may want to note I don't view you nearly in the same light. Your viewpoints are mostly egocentric to the point of being intellectually childish. You still cling on to this "MRP Highlander" mentality where anyone contradicting your ideas literally causes you to go full retard, like /u/PurpleVeteran thread. You apparently believe in an actual 'Red Pill Canon' even though we've mocked that idea so often that /u/il…
/r/askMRP17/04/16 06:41 PM
2

I did think there was an interesting thought about his caveats about validation versus calibration. You shouldn't do things out of the expectation that your wife will fuck you. But if you're doing things and your wife fucks you more often, very possible that there's a correlation worth considering. This is a nuance that constantly goes overlooked by MRP, in my opinion. Otherwise, pretty much your standard story of a guy who surrenders boundaries to his wife, gets upset when she's shockingly unap…
/r/askMRP16/04/16 09:43 PM
5

You do you, Caddyshack.
/r/askMRP16/04/16 04:59 PM
5

I don't judge your decisions. I do judge your ideas that your wife was simply acting in accordance with the "female imperative" and she is no more or less shitty than any other person. You can't reconcile your wife is a shitty person, because that means you should divorce her. But if you work yourself into a froth on /r/femalehate often enough, then maybe all women would've been destined to cheat on you with a landscaper anyway. Which would mean you absolve your ego from the responsibility of ha…
/r/askMRP16/04/16 04:45 PM
11

The only thing controversial is he projects his wife's bullshit to the entire female gender. His ego can't handle that his wife is a shitty person. Normally you remove shitty people from your life. Sometimes that meansd consequences for you, though. My ex-wife actually had a lot of overlap with Caddyshack's story. We were legally separated, then I found all the bullshit with things like condoms and texts. The only difference is she stopped bullshitting me. Can you blame me, you worthless piece o…
/r/askMRP16/04/16 07:15 AM
3

I'd just like to observe this guy actually has the identical problem to the MRP guys who still operate in their wife's frame, and essentially benchmark their entire set of achievements based on their sexual frequency. A guy like that comes here after his wife refuses to fuck him, again, and asks, "what's the point?" And now we have OP coming here after his wife agrees to fuck him, again, and asks... "what's the point?" OP is still putting the pussy on the pedestal. He is still 100% driven by his…
/r/askMRP15/04/16 09:49 AM
2

I humbly nominate this for addition to our "Red Pill canon."
/r/askMRP13/04/16 10:30 PM
9

This is quite literally the worst fucking financial advice I have ever read in my life. You're advocating investment of individual stocks, and only those that are consistent on arbitrary moral principles. You also leave out when to sell as a key decision point. I actually do have abut 5% of my investments in a brokerage account I use to buy/sell individual stocks. I call it my "gambling" fund. I actually have gotten really good returns, but I usually sell way too late. Its one thing to pick a "h…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 10:35 PM
7

You could have just said your N count is 4, and your girl is 11, and saved yourself a lot of typing.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 10:21 PM
25

Why this is 100% bullshit: Use of Red Pill vocabulary is way too familiar for someone who "just found out their husband is into Red Pill." Seriously, try and remember when you first stumbled in here. I lurked for a goddamn month before I figured out what all these terms and acronyms meant. I bet a lot of us did too. Almost everyone's wife here who found MRP was pissed because they shared personal details about them, not because they particularly gave a shit about MRP. It was more just like, You'…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 04:06 PM
14

This isn't a "fucked up" marriage. "Fucked up" is you having health problems and your wife getting compassion fatigue and asking for a divorce, for example. Fucked up is your wife getting assaulted and shutting down physically/sexually. Fucked up is... You get the idea. Fucked up is even your wife just saying, "I don't feel the same way about us anymore, I want to separate." Nothing about what your ex-wife did it fucked up. It was just shitty, because she's a shitty person. AWALT is not AWATS. N…
/r/askMRP10/04/16 10:58 PM
4

It doesn't work both ways, man. You hold contempt for your wife and claim she adds zero to your life. But then you say you want to fuck her brains out. Her brains. So if my wife stopped adding any value to my life, I wouldn't want to fuck her. I'd be pretty repulsed, actually. I'd definitely detach, stop adding value to her life. Presumably on a long enough timeline we'd get divorced. But why not? In this scenario, we were just acting like two people who didn't give a fuck about each other anywa…
/r/askMRP09/04/16 10:44 AM
22

I thought about responding defensively to try and discredit some of the opinions here, since it bothers me too much when internet strangers express ideas that seemingly invalidate my fundamental life decisions. Instead I decided to go floss. I guess I'll still probably end up divorced raped or whatever, but at least I'll have great fucking teeth.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 07:05 PM
2

Please tell me you had to Google 'bottle service' yet immediately recognized that reference.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 10:04 AM
6

And when you think about it, so much post-Red Pill conflict we see guys have with their wives revolves around this idea. Worrying about presentation is exhausting. So when you enter your relationship as the codependent beta bitch that most of us are, this is initially liberating to them. Wow, he doesn't care about presentation! There's a whole part of my brain I can just shut down! This is so great! I love this guy! Except, well... you know where this is going. By far one of the most common conf…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 08:01 AM
5

dude........ who wastes $1 on a bottle opener. Haha. So I'm guessing in making that video, the creators probably had some takes where the bottle cap got dented and stuck, or the bottle spewed beer everyone from getting jostled around, or they just outright shattered the bottle. But you're not seeing that, you're just seeing the final polished product of some badass and seemingly effortless ways to open beer bottles like fucking MacGuyver. what i'm getting from this post is indulging an entitled …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 07:36 AM
6

OP -- as I'm surely you're keenly aware by the time you read this comment, we're all a bunch of boring introverts who hate Belvedere, Red Bull, and Calvin Harris. I assume you found the idea of popping bottles in the ice like a blizzard, and getting slizzard with your wife and her friends, appealing. I told her that all she has to do is pay for the first bottle yada yada yada.... She comes back with "it's my birthday, so I shouldn't have to pay for anything" Imagine you showed up to a Super Bowl…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 03:51 AM
2

Look, I'm gonna parsethis drivel and say you had some internal sense of rightness in this scenario about needing more trucks. And it sseems like we keep talking about that state of mind, but for everything. Your reality, your frame, etc. If you think you're right, then you're right. But does there need to be some objective grounding for that rightness? Your XO thought he was right and he was so very wrong. There's an interesting kernel of an idea there. So why don't YOU come back when you have a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 03:20 PM
3

Do you live in a country that requires both parents to consent to therapy? Look man, stop with this learned-helplessness bullshit. Your wife clearly has some broken ideas about parenting and it's manifesting in some very negative formative socialization for your daughter. Put together a plan of increasing severity for your daughter. If your wife insists on enabling her bullshit, proceed with the next step in the plan. The plan may have some very unpleasant steps way down the road, and it's very …
/r/askMRP05/04/16 02:59 PM
5

Hey man, do me a favor and pretend you're not autistic for five minutes? Because then you might realize I didn't use Shit Test in the hyperliteral sense of the term, but just to illustrate that OP's wife and his daughter clearly dont give a shit about his boundaries and functionally both act like he has zero respect. We have a fun vocabulary here. Maybe take some time to just enjoy it, without worrying if every reference conforms to the approved Red Pill definition that I'm sure is on some bulls…
/r/askMRP05/04/16 02:51 PM
6

Sigh. OK, I'll go ahead and unpack this shit for you, Sherlock. You seem to hell-bent on operating within her frame anyway, so I'll give you the tour and show you were the hamster lives. Your wife's father was probably a hardass whose rules were firm but also arbitrary. Shit like, "don't sit in my chair" or "you can't draw on my legal pads." This ends up manifesting as a paradox to your wife. Because she had to adhere to such firm rules, she was probably a well-behaved kid. But because she was w…
/r/askMRP05/04/16 02:44 PM
8

Your wife "jumping in" is bad parenting. It's fucking parenting 101 to not undermine the other parent. That should be a hard boundary. If she has a problem with any discipline you're giving, she should STFU and wwait for a private moment to talk to you. For all your fuckers who are terrified of divorce fucking up your kids, think about this. Placating your wife, and surrendering common sense boundaries like "don't directly contradict and undermine me in front of the kids" will fuck your kids up …
/r/askMRP05/04/16 01:15 PM
8

You know what we're talking about here? We're talking about That. What is That? It doesn't matter, just that your wife wants you to do That. You know she'll be unhappy if you don't do That, but you feel uncomfortable with the idea that you always have to do That, right? So. Is there a reason why you can't say, "I'll see if I can get to That later"? -- You aren't committing to complying with anything. You'll see if you can do That, at some undetermined point in the future called "Later." Upon eno…
/r/askMRP05/04/16 05:55 AM
2

Zing! I wasn't disputing that you could eat at a deficit and not lose muscle. But a six week bulk is probably going to be a 5-7 lbs net gain for most guys. Say 2 lbs muscle, 2 lbs fat, and 2 lbs water/glycogen. So yeah, cutting those 2 lbs of fat and keeping the 2 lbs of muscle is not physiologically impossible. Just saying, extend that out several months like my twentysomething fatass did. I literally tthought I could just do a bunch of cardio and circuit training, and I'd just sculpt this fat …
/r/askMRP05/04/16 01:45 AM
3

I fucking hate bulk and cut because when you cut, it's really hard to do a cut and not lose whatever muscle you gained during the bulk. I did this in my 20s. Gained 60 lbs over six months, but only 15 lbs of it was muscle. Then I lost 60 lbs, still had a bigger waist then when I started. By the time I got down to my original body fat, I had lost muscle. I was dirty bulking like a fucking moron, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. Plus my health in general was a mess. High cholesterol, …
/r/askMRP04/04/16 06:48 PM
5

Is there a reason why zero-effort shit like this isn't moderated and deleted, and posting guidelines aren't more clear?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 10:37 PM
2

Of course the OP deletes this right after I posted. Fuck it. If anyone else needs me today, I'll be in the back offices with /u/il-est-ressuscite. The only threesome I'm having in my near future with my TurboTax and my accountant, and the only thing going up anyone's butt is the US federal tax code getting crammed up mine.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 06:17 PM
2

This is a GREAT post. Seriously, thank you for sharing this. Exactly what we all need here on MRP. I've actually had the same conclusions in my life. In the past six months, I've: Gotten plastic surgery for more angular facial features. I literally cut a steak with part of my chin last night. Lifted so much that my gym charges me a surcharge for having to import extra 45 pound 20.4117 kg plates from Manitoba, Canada. Finished 6th in my age group at the Los Angeles marathon, despite taking a brea…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 05:44 PM
2

For the same reason why it's rarely worth trying to redeem yourself when you get a bad review and placed on a "Performance Improvement Plan." Is it because your boss is a dick who doesn't appreciate your work, or because you're a slacker who is barely competent? It doesn't really matter. Digging yourself out of the hole of someone's negative perception of you is not trivial. Any effort you'd spend salvaging your reputation with your employer would almost definitely be better directed just trying…
/r/askMRP02/04/16 08:43 AM
7

I pretty much never comment on questions about LTRs for this reason. I might as well just copy-paste, "Well, that's fucked. Dump her and then spend a lot of time figuring out why you ever thought that relationship was a good idea, then invest in yourself so it never happens again. Honestly I think the turning point is kids. Adds a ton of contextual changes that expose a man's weaknesses and failings that may not have been apparent before. If the man either simply surrenders to those failings, or…
/r/askMRP01/04/16 09:48 PM
2

Because men typically initiate any form of courtship, they generally experience attraction as something they make happen. Women experience it is something happening to them. This is why, for example, women give terrible dating advice. If you're a man and not a "natural,' then your choices to literally not die alone are to either a) deconstruct what naturals do and replicate it, or b) die alone. Women aren't in the same position. If they want to improve their dating life, it generally is behavior…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 04:26 PM
5

As far as I can parse out, your wife is extremely Type A, prone to a lot of anxiety, and basically has unbearable expectations for things like parenting, that she gets pissed when you don't follow to the letter. Wow, that fat fucking controlling bitch of a whore, amirite? Here's the thing, buddy. You severely resent her for this, yet you're incapable of putting together a coherent set of boundaries so that she realizes she should probably stop behavnig this way. You also react with extreme hosti…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 07:12 AM
3

Man, you want to go down the well a bit, think about how your wife must have resented people that "kept score" in their relationship because of her formative experiences. Then recall her initially negative reaction to you when you communicated that, essentially, your marriage was only as good as how you both 'stepped up your game.' Cant imagine this wasn't tied together. Wait, so if you step up and I don't, there are consequences? I still need to match my effort and value to yours, because you w…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 05:20 AM
5

Well, the next time you shit in the toilet, make sure you let everyone know at AskMRP. Especially because we don't know if that plop sound was you dropping the mic, or just your turd splashing in the water.
/r/askMRP31/03/16 05:09 AM
5

I have a teenage son, he's almost 18. If he came out of the bathroom and said, "Dad, I didn't shit my pants! I got it all in the toilet!" Strictly speaking, that's better than the alternative. But I'd be puzzled on why he felt compelled to announce this particular achievement to me. The relevance to your post is an exercise left for the reader.
/r/askMRP31/03/16 02:18 AM
3

I actually thought of breaking up with her in the second or third year we were together but the thought of being alone and 1500 miles from all I knew and loved were very frightening. So that moment where you considered this, what was 15 years ago, right? Well, I have no qualms predicting there is a 100% chance that if you divorced, you would still consider yourself to be "alone." Did you ever rebuild a new network of social support in the following years? Say you were going through a divorce, yo…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 02:13 AM
1

I can't even. Here, let me translate this fucking faggot's bullshit for everyone else here. My wife is a total mental case. Zero question. Most of the women I have been with are that way. It is characteristic of me. And that says something. I get off on getting in there and knowing the ins and outs of a broken woman in a way no healthy woman has offered to me. Uncrazy relationships bore the shit out of me. Zero appeal. I have deep-seated mental and emotional problems. I consider healthy and well…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 12:16 AM
15

It's a fucking shame that this got buried by whoever downvoted sexyshoulderdevil Well, you're probably going to think what I'm about to write is an even bigger shame, because you've prompted me to organize some thoughts that have been floating around in my mind incoherently, until just now. EDIT: I've heard "you should turn this comment into a post" every so often, but I think I may actually do that this time. I do think all men in this position need to, essentially, invert the power dynamic to …
/r/askMRP30/03/16 11:26 PM
8

This is true of anyone's profession whose job it is to basically evoke emotion and influence thought. Even more intense is someone who does this via physical performance. This is roughly my career. But my performance is mostly things like client pitches. I'm not entertaining the public at large. Dating a writer meant someone that was articulate, but was too untrained in 'manipulating' things in physical interactions. So my go-to response was usually some version of, look, that sounded really con…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 09:48 PM
15

"walking on eggshells" is the key broken mental model here. OP may have cosmetically said some of the right things. If we read a literal transcript we might have concluded, OK, made some mistakes, but didn't totally cave. But if we watched a video of this, I suspect we'd call collectively think, Holy shit. He is terrified of her emotions. He feels compelled to respond to her extreme motions - contempt for him, self-loathing for herself, whatever. It's like he's worried she's going to immolate at…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 06:26 PM
3

That's exactly why my writing is so voluminous, I get to deduct $0.55 per word from my taxes. In 2015 I saved $137,495. It's really easy to get the deduction. I just set up an LLC in Canada under Stoney's name called Honourable Behavioural Colourful Psychoulougy, did a reverse-acquisition of my estate via corporate inversion, and boom. Schooling people on the Internet falls under the 2007 IRS rule where each word of advice is equivalent to a deduction equal to the gas mileage credit per mile. Ea…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 03:42 PM
3

There's a God/religion part of all this that's important to me that's not really what I want to go into here, so I'm pretty set on what I'm going to do. I was looking for thoughts about how to do it. So your religion has given you a misguided sense of duty and commitment your whole life, and you're just going to keep sticking to that anyway out of sheer ignorant principle, without any regard or thought to your own actions on why that duty and commitment is being tested in the first place? And ma…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 09:39 AM
4

So. I've been trying to think about why the OP pissed me off so much when I read it, and /u/whinemoreplease pretty much nailed it. The OP is not being nearly as introspective about his own actions. Look, the Victim Pukes that i can typically deconstruct are when the OP describes what he's thinking while describing what his wife is doing. It typically looks something like this. I thought this, but my wife did that, so I reached this way, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, here are some paragra…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 09:12 AM
7

didn't hug and kiss her since she had just rejected my advances THIS ISN'T OI. Let's review. Outcome A: She fucks you. Your actions: Kiss and hug her goodbye Versus... Outcome B: She doesn't fuck you. Your actions: Passive aggressively leave for work and leave your kid in pajamas. Seems like your responses are very fucking dependent on the outcome, right? I realize this is tough to grasp. First of all, in the long run, the idea of responding to "getting value" with "giving value" is essentially …
/r/askMRP29/03/16 05:03 PM
2

Equal is not identical. Are men and women identical? No. Are you and your wife the same person? No. Is an orange identical to a tangerine? No. They are not the same thing. Is the orange equal to the tangerine? What the fuck does that even mean? How the do you even quantify that? Is the quarterback equal to his offensive line? Is the NASCAR driver equal to his pit crew? Is the surgeon equal to his anesthesiologist? There are nominal leaders in these scenarios, but in reality, nobody is probably g…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/16 07:50 PM
6

Dude, this isn't even trolling, this is just an unhinged rant. I won't even dispute that it's very easy to troll MRP in a way that makes the countless logistical inconsistencies obvious. But this literally doesn't even qualify for a trolling attempt, man. Why go through the pretext of inventing some fake persona and fake problems? Why not just post your little rant here right off the bat and save yourself some time? Better yet, why not just copy-paste "YOU'RE ALL FUCKING LOSER VIRGIN FAGGOTS!" W…
/r/askMRP28/03/16 07:54 AM
7

Look. The reason why I'm harshing on you is because I've called out guys for enforcing the wrong boundaries too soon, usually when they've just swallowed the Red Pill and acting like it's laced with amphetamines, and this is why. Tramping over boundaries while being stupidly defensive about yours is the root cause of anti-Oak behavior. It's not whiny codependent beta behavior, maybe it's "alpha," but it's the kind of "alpha" nobody really cares to follow. You don't add value to people's lives ex…
/r/askMRP27/03/16 10:58 AM
7

She starts to get angry again. OK, so based on context it looks like you and your wife had a baby within the past few months. She might have cared about being sensitive to your delicate boundaries and feely-feels before she got knocked up and became an incubator/feed sack for another human being, but she probably doesn't care very much now. What are you offering her? Seriously, think about that. Because your approach, your behavior, this is literally anti-Oak. The opposite of being an Oak is NOT…
/r/askMRP27/03/16 10:45 AM
11

I'll be concise. This isn't concise. This is shallow. If you wrote something concise, it might have the same word count. But this is shallow because you're describing everything in the context of one micro-event of your life, as if your marriage is a series of events with independent probability and binary outcomes. Nobody is going to give you the answer you're looking for because your question is retarded. This is categorically true of any question that is presented as, "A happened, so I did B.…
/r/askMRP27/03/16 09:54 AM
3

So I think you're advocating that the White Knight intellectual foundation is mostly built on a house of cards, and we shouldn't hesitate to challenge their preconceived notions because: Presenting contradictory opinions against the conventional wisdom, in the right situations, is a good character trait. Often socially compelling people are the ones that say, wait, why are we even assuming this is true? Selectively playing devil's advocate can lead to a much richer conversation than everyone jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/16 10:26 PM
9

QUESTION: Do you know what feminazis and white knights really, really fucking hate? ANSWER: When their position is questioned. So you're gonna totally game for a good-faith debate when I question your position, as I'm about to do here, right? Heh. Also, do so in a masculine manner, ask the question with overt communication – straight forward, confident, maintaining eye contact, and with a posture that says – Answer Me. I don't know what you're trying to achieve from suggesting this Red Knighting…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/16 11:09 AM
3

To add some level of detail to the other comments here... We talk about "gaming your wife throughout the day" and not turning sex into this binary "on/off" activity. I've used the term blurring the lines of sexuality before for this, but it's all the same concept. If your interactions with her have this flirtatious, teasing, and implicitly sexual tone, then you're a lot more likely to have an frequent and enthusiastic sex life because it's just sort of interwoven into all the things you're doing…
/r/askMRP26/03/16 08:24 AM
9

From that same article: While I really like the idea of in-garage-bars (I can think of at least 2 I know around here in Florida), I’m of two minds about this. On one hand, I think it’s essential for a healthy marriage that a Man set aside his space in the home. This is essential in establishing independent identities that is vital to a woman maintaining respect for her spouse. There are long established habits and interests and things that are part of my personality that I know damn well Mrs. To…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 06:52 PM
5

Now. Do you know why you struggle? Because you don't even realize this is YOUR problem. You think it's your wife that's the unsorted emotional wreck, but it's you. You're unable to figure out what you want and how to get it in your life, so you just stumble around vaguely unhappy, and then seize the first thing that you think could possibly make you happy. Oh, you're unhappy that getting married means you'll probably die with an N count of 4. Better get drunk and hookup with this chick at a work…
/r/askMRP22/03/16 05:48 AM
4

My wife and I got married about a year out from college, started having kids right away. With a wife, kids, mortgage, job, business school and a BP attitude, I missed out on most of the 20’s carousing my friends did before they each hitched off, and we’ve drifted. So, these friends. Maybe they've actually been inconsiderate shitheads for your entire friendship -- in which case, maybe this isn't the hill to die on for your wife's Anxiety Wars -- but I suspect not. Because, as you note: She gets a…
/r/askMRP22/03/16 05:48 AM
18

What exactly is the problem here? Are you that unfamiliar with lifting that you think doing a high-impact strength training program is going to turn you into Dwayne Johnson overnight? There is virtually no physical movement that is not augmented by strength training. A lot of strength gains are actually your central nervous system getting more efficient at coordinating your muscles. A lot of hard gainers - I'm one of them - typically say stuff like, "Yeah, I was a total gym rat during the summer…
/r/askMRP20/03/16 05:25 AM
1

Jesus. I got all excited because this is actually a very creative concept and they just totally fucking WHIFFED. So your watching a TV show on your DVR. Commercial break, you're about to fast-forward, but you see an attractive woman say, "Women. You have to treat them like shit." What the fuck? So you keep watching. Now get good actresses, ones that say these things with as much enthusiasm and authenticity as Trump, instead of this "I am unamused and offended" tone the women in the video have. A…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 01:10 AM
17

The difference, the line they draw between MRP and TRP, is that see MRP men as having tricked their wives No, I don't think this is it. They just cherry-pick the retards here who hit on cashiers to make their wives feel "Dread," and then whine here that it doesn't work. Every subreddit in question that shits on us -- TRP, TBP, PPD, PRW, whatever -- I think this is the root cause, not some sort of cognitive dissonance because what we say violates their own core principle beliefs. I know there are…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 10:24 PM
1

Haha! I was tempted, but OP showed some indications that whatever his problems were, his ego wasn't one of them. But don't worry, it's only a matter of time. You don't know how itchy my trigger finger is.
/r/askMRP16/03/16 07:11 PM
3

Good points. So, I've been in this situation personally and I did say something like, "Well, I think we're both really unprepared to be parents now. We felt that way when we talked about this before and I still feel that way. Do you? I can't imagine what you're going through but ultimately I don't think that's changed." And - it was well-received at the time, but within the week there's generally some, I just hate that I have to do this. I don't want a baby now but I do want children some day. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 03:40 PM
1

You poor, sad, little fucker. I mean that with all the endearment I can muster. We could make you a fucking mascot. Codependent man married to an anxious wife. Look, let me break it down this way. You, my friend, are an Omega. Do you know what an omega man is? It's worse than beta. An omega man is someone who will die, and nobody will care. Beta men, their wives and families and friends will care. He may not have a robust sex life with his wife, but she'll care. That's the distinction. You may b…
/r/askMRP16/03/16 09:19 AM
9

Forget the Shit Test. If your wife's rejection literally causes your hamster to race so hard you can't even sleep, you have a problem. You know what we call people who literally can't sleep unless they do something? Addicts. You are addicted to your wife's validation. Fix that. In the short-term, jerk off or take melatonin. In the long-term, figure out what went so, so, wrong in your poor, pathetic past, that makes you incapable of performing basic physiological processes without your wife's val…
/r/askMRP16/03/16 08:50 AM
12

Dude, relationships don't survive abortions for this reason, especially to men and women in their early 20s. You had no winning move. She doesn't want to have a baby, but she hates the idea of terminating this cluster of cells inside her. She doesn't want to throw a wrench into her life, but she can't help but wonder if this is literally killing an unborn child. She said, "no, I don't have a choice." You probably could've said some things that made her feel like less of a monster. Except then yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 08:34 AM
6

I feel literally afraid that I will turn on my phone, read a dozen texts from her and I will choose to react to her again. I'm not afraid of those messages. I literally feel like I saw a glimpse of the Matrix... in me, in my behavior. This is why we tell you guys to slow the fuck down. As much as this may seem like a groundbreaking epiphany, it stemmed from an emotional and impulsive decision. This is why you feel the way you do now. In that moment, you ripped yourself of her frame. OK, great, n…
/r/askMRP15/03/16 10:25 PM
10

This is my short answer. I don't think your ego would survive my long answer. That's all you get. If you think I'm not going to heavily use this as copypasta in the near future, you are wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 09:29 PM
2

TL;DR: I am Jack's humble pie. Problem is, that example from yesterday has a guy who has the same route to success as a guy who just has a cunty wife. It's just outside the scope. All right, /u/sexyshoulderdevil, I figured out why Daddy and Mommy were fighting. Stoney and I may disagree on this premise that I quoted. Stoney is saying, the details of some situations are fucked enough that if the OP is incapable of starting with the canonical Red Pill advice, then the details don't matter anyway. …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 09:08 PM
12

I just want to add, I actually love how we tag ourselves with the "Red Pill" brand, which is toxic is as shit, yet we aren't benefitting from any "counterculture street cred" within the brand either. It's hilarious. This subreddit should have been named TheFourthReich. Wait, are you a Nazi group? No, the TheThirdReich subreddit hates us actually since we don't whine about Jews that much. The women on HitlerPanzerTankWomen hate us especially, they think all the good Reichs stop at three and we're…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 12:13 PM
6

Heh. I was wondering why my underwear was so clean, must have been this ball-washing. You can have my MRP baby, but if you even think about divorce raping me for child support, you know damn well I'm gonna have to insist on a paternity test. Since I know being a Red Pill-related sub means we all have the requisite fetish for "Fight Club," I'd also just like to reference that scene where Brad Pitt is yelling in Bitch Tits Bob's face that he's too old and fat, and Bob actually starts to leave. And…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 10:28 AM
1

Already did that, actually. He's literally received -- and even acknowledged! -- all this advice given to him. His social isolation has made him dependent on his wife in countless ways, causing her to resent him for being so dependent on her. Since she's mostly tolerating his presence and viewing it as a burden, she feels free to criticize him for basically everything, which she feels more than entitled to do because -- well, he's a burden, right? The criticism is often delivered disrespectfully…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 09:52 AM
10

You can't trust her because she never really expressed remorse. She never expressed remorse because you never held her to that standard. You had several chances to demand that remorse, but you always chose some retarded passive-aggressive solution instead. I intercepted all the messages from the ex and finally got them to stop by threatening a restraining order. I sent the guy a message from her account saying that as her husband I found it inappropriate for that relationship to continue and to …
/r/askMRP15/03/16 08:09 AM
3

She plays this card all the time. Used to think it was the chivalrous thing to do. So there may be two issues here. One is just marital expectations. If it's raining and we're going somewhere with the kids, like the movies, my wife will essentially "expect" me to drop off her and the kids off at the theater, while I park and run into the rain. But she always asks, even if the expectation is there. I'm happy to do it, because she does things I ask, even when my expectation is there. "Can you drop…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 03:37 AM
1

There's a destructive line of Red Pill thinking that goes something like this. For fuck's sake, why is she not doing what I want about this? She has to know I feel very strongly about this, so it's like she doesn't even care. Doesn't she realize there are potentially consequences to this? If she doesn't [become more enthusiastic about sex / lose weight / stop being careless about money], what does she think is gonna happen? I'm gonna put up with this forever? Fuck that! She's already got it so g…
/r/askMRP14/03/16 11:59 PM
5

Appreciate the points you raised about my advice, and the second to last paragraph. Something to think about. Thanks man.
/r/askMRP14/03/16 02:36 PM
3

Pretty sure you're just annoyed because you realize you've only slept with four women your entire life, and will probably die having slept with four women. And now realize it could've been much, much, higher had you had different realizations and made different decisions when you were younger. It might give you some solace if your wife was super hot, but she's not. Even if she dresses super fem and drops 20 lbs, you'll probably still feel this way: I wonder (fear?) if I will be able to find her …
/r/askMRP14/03/16 02:29 PM
6

EDIT: I had a bunch of stuff written here, but I'll keep this brief. I don't agree with Jack taking the wounded bird under his wing and nursing her back to health. Oh, for fuck's sake, man. There's certain MRP vets that I mostly don't engage with because it's clear they have such a fucking ego when it comes to having their advice questioned, that they parse anything in response in the most uncharitable way as a defense mechanism. At some point they decided they're having more fun pretending to b…
/r/askMRP14/03/16 04:57 AM
5

Whoosh. Dude, maybe read shit a little more carefully before you comment. Because if you thought I was suggesting this at all... I bet she'll emotionally Manipulate it with him as well. And maybe, after years of pain and suffering for everyone. Maybe, she'll find out she likes woman and ditch him anyways. There is no good scenario I would see, other than her sapping the life out of him and then this ends anyways. ... then clearly you put as much effort reading my comment as you did OP.
/r/askMRP13/03/16 11:33 PM
13

I could read and comment on the rest... but cmon, do we really need to? Um. Yes. Maybe, if you had, you would've seen this. Anyway, after an hour she called me back into the bedroom and revealed to me that she truly wants to die, simply sleep or whatever and die. She won't kill herself cause she feels she's a coward (her words). She's crying and saying that she won't eat anything today or during this week, in an attempt to get sick. She also sent me an article about suicide and suicidal tendenci…
/r/askMRP13/03/16 07:31 PM
2

I think it's telling you only went to your therapist once a month. Imagine taking a community college class for fun. If you liked it, you'd want to go once a week, not once a month. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't want to go at all. Also - Congrats, big papa.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 12:00 PM
9

So, tell ya what, buddy. I'm gonna make this really simple for you. Everyone's going to tell you that your question is retarded, and Red Pill is all about you, and blahblahblah. But you actually seem introspective and self-aware, despite the pathetic phrasing of your question vis a vis "love," to already know all that. So I'm going to give you that advice, but in a way that will make it seem like your choices aren't this shitty dichotomy between sexual frustration and dying alone. De-risk your d…
/r/askMRP06/03/16 07:48 AM
12

I'm gonna do you a favor and parse this out for you, before everyone jumps on you for asking a retarded question. First, read this. Well, read the OP, then /u/whinemoreplease's epic deconstruction. Like you, this guy was still working under the misguided assumption that all this self-improvement entitles him to his wife's attraction. Except he's held that assumption for two years, while you seem to be self-aware of this and can openly admit it in a much shorter time frame. because the person who…
/r/askMRP06/03/16 07:05 AM
6

So what am I saying? Think more? Yeah, actually. I think, contrary to the OP, you can. Just get out of the "uncanny valley." I would say a good analogy for this is a baseball pitcher or a golfer. Some guys get so locked into making every individual muscle movement perfect, that they're trying to remember 1000 things every time they throw the ball or swing the club and it's to their detriment. If they just threw freely, the way they used to in little league, they'd probably do a lot better. If yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/16 10:28 AM
6

I actually think this is terrible advice, SPT. And I'm not sure if anyone else realizes this, but you actually acknowledge this in your OP. Granted, by writing this, I'm thinking about it a lot more than I should, but we can't all be Jesus now can we? All us cool guys with our "MRP Approved" flair, typically got it because we added insightful comments and offered a useful deconstruction. I assume anyone here presenting "General MRP Theory," like this post, has enough spare cycles in their otherw…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/16 09:12 AM
1

Best of luck, TTB. Don't be a stranger.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 09:37 AM
8

Probably should have AA'd and made more jokes but it just pissed me off. Yep. Seriously, there's no reason to fucking Red Knight your in-laws. Your MIL is gonna giggle like a schoolgirl in these conversations because she was never allowed to be this sexually explicit back in the 60s or 70s, or whenever her heydey was. 50 Shades of Grey became a media sensation mostly because of women in that demographic (50+). Reading about two people in their 20s doing very sexual explicit things was way hotter…
/r/askMRP03/03/16 09:03 AM
6

I also am wagering a bottle of Macallan 12 that it'll be /u/[deleted] that snarks, "that was short?"
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 07:14 AM
32

I blew my word quota for the next couple days on the last guy, so this is gonna be short. Father and provider doesn't get you any points. When you say this, you're saying the only value you bring to your marriage is... raising your own offspring and bringing home a paycheck. Whoa. No other man has ever done that! A job and he raises how own kids? I have no idea how your wife's panties aren't drenched every time that direct deposit hits your bank account. Snark aside, seriously, that gets you zer…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 07:12 AM
9

In fact, the only place where our Blue Pill society does not like to consider these power dynamics is in romantic relationships. Think about any movies you've seen with a "sociopathic" character, someone manipulating the power dynamics in their relationships for things like professional and financial gain. But then there's a scene where he throws $10,000 at his wife's face and tells her: "Your tits are small. They bore me now. Get a boob job." For most audiences, that's when their opinion shifts…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 10:24 AM
11

Because you may be slightly more socially adept, but only in misleading people about your opinions because you're terrified of disappointing them. I’m thinking WTF. I got the place to go to the beach with kids, not to dump them for bro time. Yeah, but don't tell him this. Just think it, and resent him, but don't ever tell someone how you really feel, because they could be sadface and you'd rather just whine about losers who think they've found a kindred loser on the internet instead of, say, fin…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 09:00 AM
12

Let me give you a personal example with someone who is heavily incentivized to give you free lunch and then try and fuck you for it later. If you buy a car, you know you shouldn't trust the sales guy any further than you can throw him. I remember when my wife and I had kids and we needed to get a bigger car, in this case a crossover SUV. So we go to the dealership, talk to a sales guy about test driving their crossover SUV models. But we drove there in my car, which was (and still is) several ye…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 09:00 AM
28

Man, you don't have many friends, do you? Because if you did you'd recognize men will generally organize themselves into hierarchical structures, not "orbital ones." Which means you can have a "beta" friend and still get some value out of it, and vice versa. Especially if you're a homeowner and the potential friend in question is a neighbor. Generally someone with the socioeconomic status to own a home is competent at something. A "beta bucks" guy just means his wife's not fucking him. But the f…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 08:43 AM
1

Look, at the risk of further profiling someone with a dead spouse, your revulsion to online dating... is probably related to the idea that your mindset towards some social norms stopped evolving when you got married. I've observed this goes for things beyond just dating social norms and customs too. Say you got married in the early 1990s. Name your favorite music artists. Did any of those artists emerge after, say, 1995? Really, just consider anything that has to do with taste. Married guys don'…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/16 08:17 PM
11

Dude, just get over your Madonna/whore complex already. Thinking poorly about sexually promiscuous women makes no sense. Mostly because you end up bifurcating women into "sluts" and "good girls." And this is why so many of us end up in sexless marriages. We met a "good girl" and thought that she didn't put out early gave her some sort of virtue. But often it just indicates a sex-negative attitude of a woman conditioned that her sexuality needs to be "rationed" and is only deserving of a man's at…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 01:44 AM
11

Sigh. Your wife's family is a bunch of narcissists and she's picked up a bunch of "fleas" - maladaptive coping mechanism that result in her displaying her own narcissist behavior. Spend five minutes on /r/raisedbynarcissists and you will go, OMG that's just like my MIL! There are countless ways to resolve this, your failure is creating your own community of constructively thinking people to surround you and your family with. Because the odds of your wife coming to some sort of catharsis about th…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 07:16 PM
12

Also regardless of sex or not. It's crossing my line and at the least she should sorry folks my beta was showing. She is a woman and I have no one to blame but myself. Dude. We talk about boundaries all the time here. It is not your fault if your wife hits you. It's your fault if you're in a marriage where you don't set a boundary for your wife hitting you. Do you see the difference? (hold her hand hard to the point of pain for at least a few seconds such that she can't move her hand) But I don'…
/r/askMRP24/02/16 05:02 AM
20

We walked over outside and as we gathered the mattresses she just started balling her eyes out about her sister (recently split with husband) being able just go & do 3k jogging each day. I forget exactly when I said, but it was along lines of "Well dear you work hard 2 to 3 times a week with boot camp, I'm proud of you for that". She fucking snapped So she expressed envy for her divorced sister, and you responded with a compliment that was infantilizing at best, and condescending at worst. Since…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 03:30 AM
20

And by the way, to OP or anyone else reading this, you don't have to do any of this shit. This is a lot of work. This is inverting someone's request to share your emotional burden, and instead expressing that you're willing to take on more of theirs. And yet you give them some conscious deniability that their being the magnanimous one, since this is all framed as their willingness to listen to your vulnerabilities. If you have a loved one who is depressed about some loss and ask them how they're…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 03:29 AM
45

Dude, can you not really not read between the lines here? She wanted me to show MORE emotion about the events that were happening in our lives. You just do what you want without asking. I'll ask if I can go out, even if I always know the answer is yes. She feels that you do whatever you want, unencumbered by anxiety or whatever the fuck she's hamstering about. So she feels she's dealing with her worries, fears, concerns, on an emotional island. She's going through some bad shit in your head and …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 03:29 AM
18

Gave her the main event talk 2 months ago and it did not go well - obviously. Er -- you gave her the Main Event talk? Was this a "fuck me or fuck you" talk about sexual frequency/enthusiasm, or something else?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 04:17 AM
3

I suspect this may end up being one of those discussions where we end up concluding we're saying mostly the same thing, but let me play "Canadian Senator" for a bit, or whatever you godless socialists up in the tundra call "Devil's Advocate." Let's say a guy came to MRP and said he wanted to propose a poly relationship to his wife. He used to be poly, he only agreed to monogamy because his wife said it was a dealbreaker otherwise. I'm sure an immediately argument is that he'd actually have a muc…
/r/askMRP22/02/16 11:59 PM
2

There's a reason why this would work given the status of your life and marriage, but almost definitely won't for OP. I'm inclined to comment as to why later on when I have more time.
/r/askMRP22/02/16 09:43 PM
6

Look, the reason why it's hard for you to "just do it and DGAF" is because this meat thing could be the equivalent of religion to her. Your description makes her vegetarianism sound tantamount to, say, Mormonism. You converted, but you're kind of sick of wearing those silly garments, and you'd love to to just chug down a Starbucks double espresso without her praying for your salvation. Of course, beta me switched and quit eating meat about 10 years ago. My wife kept telling everyone she could te…
/r/askMRP22/02/16 10:45 AM
2

The actual interesting discussion to be had is in this comment. Everyone else is just circle-jerking themselves into what brilliant parents they are because they didn't raise their boys as girls the way some strawman feminists apparently prefer. In the real world, your boy can't do girl things without getting shit on. Exactly. The problem is not gender neutral PC bullshit. The problem is if your son wears a dress to 1st grade, he will be made fun of and picked on, and even the teacher will be fl…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/16 10:05 AM
2

Are you still unemployed?
/r/askMRP20/02/16 07:21 AM
15

Focus on yourself and your problems. Yeah, some women are cunts. Some men are also whiny entitled betas who act controlling and mate guard. Consider your mental models are much more likely to be developed by your own formative experiences, and sociology/psychology is probably a better basis than evolution. Unless you actively make decisions considering your reproductive future it's unlikely your wife is either. She's probably just being a bitch because she would watch her mom bitch out her dad a…
/r/askMRP20/02/16 07:16 AM
2

Agree 100% with this. Also you can still do volume with low rep sets. Just do a lot of them. A 10 rep, 8 rep, and then 6x4 progression is one of my favorite things to do for squats, hang cleans, and other "explosive big lifts." You're just less likely to fuck up a joint during those 4 rep sets.
/r/askMRP18/02/16 05:48 PM
2

Just because you did X and I feel Y, means you need to apologize for X. This is the root feeling of every woman that expects you to take responsibility for their emotions. They simply cant comprehend there are situations that involve having negative feelings that aren't your fault and that you don't need to fix.
/r/askMRP15/02/16 04:49 PM
3

Seriously. Now, the Sanders movement does have a thought leader in Sanders himself, so following a primary loss to Clinton, he could do enough to convince his Bernie Berners to support Clinton. There would still be some attrition but not enough to make a Rubio (or whomever) victory likely. Clinton knows this herself, because this is exactly what she already did in 2008. Had she not embraced Obama in 2008 after losing in the primaries, he is not president. And he is probably not re-elected in 201…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/16 12:42 AM
7

DOUBLE EDIT: If your goal is for your "counterculture" to become "the culture," then I would only point to the difference between 2nd and 3rd wave feminism. 2nd wave feminism had canonical "thought leaders" (Gloria Steinem, Andrew Dworkin, etc) and essentially pushed their agenda as a gradual, homogeneous, cohesive group. 3rd wave feminism is literally a bunch of millennials on Tumblr whining about shit, and they can't even agree on what shit to whine about. 3rd wave feminists see Ashley Graham …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/16 12:07 AM
31

So, just my $0.02 on this. The reason why I invest so much time in my comments to guys here is because it's one of the few places that essentially demands you strip all pretenses at the door, and come in with your unvarnished and exposed ego. If you ever tried giving anyone in real life advice, on anything? It's fucking annoying as shit. Someone saying, "can I ask you for advice?" is usually them just asking, can you validate how I already feel about something? Or worse, they take your advice an…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 11:14 PM
2

Dude, this is fucking incoherent. Your OP implied you were good at "reading people" but had trouble regulating effective responses. But now there's this puke about mommy and daddy. Look, if your mom was a narcissist, this is pretty common. You're raised to be a nice little codependent piece of shit and learn the world always revolves around her. And you get really good at reading her moods and placating her emotionally to win her validation. Then you apply this model to other women in your life,…
/r/askMRP13/02/16 08:20 PM
7

Don't ever stop being you, Caddyshack. Fuck, now my toilet is going to overflow because I thought the water tank was a great hiding place for my wife's gloves. Between this and the moratorium of "you do you" on MRP, I'd say my weekend isn't off to a great start.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 07:20 PM
8

Men's inintal anger stage is partly because they thought they would be loved for their specialness when women actually prefer a consistent archetype that I'm not going to discuss in this thread. My toilet time is limited. So, you think there is a canonical Red Pill way for men to be attractive to women, and "you do you" gives men too wide a berth to not act that way and thus will be functionally plugged in? Interesting. Personally I'd probably flesh these thoughts out a little more, even though …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 06:47 PM
3

I think I've been in the anger phase pretty much the majority of my life.. and I haven't come to peace yet.. Look man. If you're sort of irritated that some random guy just took a drive by shit on you like some Internet Tough Guy, well, remember what I said in the beginning: I had this exact problem several years ago. And my friends brought me down several pegs, using a lot of the same language that I just wrote here (I will take credit for transgender Elven Vampires, though). And honestly, it w…
/r/askMRP13/02/16 10:06 AM
9

though I can't shut it when people say things that are so blatantly ridiculous.. and self serving.. and manipulative.. because I have become quite adept at reading body language and tonality (read: only child single mother). I could have written some shit like this about 10 years ago. Thought I was a fucking genius, reading the Cialdini's "Influence" books, and other books on things like "microexpressions," and and studies on "birth order," and then a whole motherlode of early 2000s PUA. I prett…
/r/askMRP13/02/16 09:17 AM
17

The only person whose actions I'm going to criticize in this story, is you for spending enough time with this ex-girlfriend for her to even tell you about this whole saga. Do you have kids with her? Is she a plate? Is this 'friendship' where you listen to sordid details about her dead husband bringing any value to your life? Was starting a whiny bitchfest about 'the true nature of women' something you felt was especially insightful for MRP?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 06:12 AM
3

I like this. This is the equivalent of, if you're cuddling on the couch watching a bad TV show, you get frisky, she turns you down... wait 15 minutes until the TV show is over, then do something else. The point of "going through the motions" is to avoid an emotional response and a Shit Test that's likely to be adversarial. "Wait, we were cuddling, I said I was top full from dinner to have sex, and now you're running away from me?" There are many ways you can pass this Shit Test, but if you're ne…
/r/askMRP12/02/16 09:33 PM
14

Yo. Divorced guy here. $1,100 a month for alimony for 8 years OK, so I Googled some stuff on Illinois divorce law, and this makes no sense. Apparently Illinois standardized alimony calculations in January 2015 and here's one example I saw. Assume the soon-to-be-ex-husband grosses $50,000 a year, and his wife earns $30,000... Therefore, the husband in this case owes the wife only $2,000 per year under the formula. For example, for a marriage that lasted five years, the maintenance award would con…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/16 02:41 AM
3

Harrowing story, obviously, but I would point out that Gonzales: Got an affirmation of innocence from the legal system. Won primary custody of his son. Was awarded legal fees from his ex in fighting her restraining order (which she didn't pay, but only by declaring bankruptcy) Also won a settlement from her insurance carrier for malicious prosecution. Did he get fucked? Yes. Did he own his shit and solve his problems, or did he whine and ask for handouts on the Internet?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/16 09:52 PM
8

Anyway, look, now that I've taken a huge steaming shit on your marriage and informed you that any progress you thoughts you were making in the past two months has mostly amounted to nil, I'll end this comment with some practical advice for you. Your left-brained Aspie synapses can start firing now. Call the sitter, have her come Friday. Tell your wife your business plans changed, you're free that day now. Go watch her do whatever lame shit she has planned. Normally I'd advise not doing this, but…
/r/askMRP11/02/16 11:41 AM
8

If anything reminded me of "Every Unhappy wife is a Rape Victim," it's this. (Really, just don't want to go .. no pussy, no commitment). Yeah, so, don't do this. When a woman says "maybe I'd be more enthusiastic about sex if you did the dishes once in awhile," the natural implication is that, well, she's declaring her sexuality is apparently subject to an exchange of goods and services. Like... a prostitute. She probably doesn't realize "suggesting choreplay" = "acting like a prostitute," but is…
/r/askMRP11/02/16 11:40 AM
11

Don't be such a pussy that your wife starts to hate you. Also, don't be such an idiot that you can't even tell if your wife is starting to hate you. If you're going do things like go nuclear on Shit Tests, and intentionally fail Comfort Tests, make sure these are active, conscious decisions. I can see for why a lot of guys on MRP, especially those with codependent traits, find it refreshing to be told, "Stop giving so much of a shit about whether your wife will be pissed! Stop reacting from with…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/16 06:13 AM
3

You don't know how good that hard core Navy red validation makes me feel, stone.
/r/askMRP11/02/16 12:23 AM
7

Look, if "neutralizing the beta orbiter" had anything to do with OPs problem, your advice might have some merit. But literally everyone here is pointing out that's not the problem. OP did not have some sort of strategic and tactical breakdown here. He's an anxious control freak and his wife got sick of his shit, and now he can't even decide whether to Own His Controlfreakness, or acknowledge his errors and reform his attitude. You're giving shitty advice on MRP because you pretty much miss "the …
/r/askMRP10/02/16 02:29 PM
8

This guy has been acting like a beta control freak this whole marriage. This is probably just the most recent in many incidents of him shifting his anxiety on to her. Look at how much of a meltdown OP is having in his comments here at the idea his wife could leave. Do you think this manifested overnight, or he's always been this anxious hand-wringing loser who would constantly whine about anything his wife did that made him uncomfortable? This is why she seems to abruptly done with everything. I…
/r/askMRP10/02/16 01:56 PM
1

Good point. Edited my comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 09:53 AM
6

The only thing I have to add, is that I've noticed there are a disproportionate number of guys on MRP that are military service members and Christian conservatives have military service or a conservative religious upbringing in their past. Both organizations encourage some sort of sense of devotion and duty, sacrificing what may be best for you to some greater good or higher power. Principles around honor and virtue are considered morally objective. I'm mainly concluding that having a strong sen…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 08:15 AM
18

The guy who finds out his wife did some sexual acts with some Chads in college, and can't get over the fact that she gave her sexually to other men that she'll never do with him - your wife is the female counterpart. Like pretty much every other frustrating circumstance in life, the solution set is pretty simple. * Modify the circumstances. * Get over it. * Leave. Your main mistake was not making her pick prior to marriage. She never did. She just sort of resented she ended up with a man who dir…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 11:28 AM
14

Your wife sounds like she's at least a moderate amount of neuroticism and low self-esteem. Often these will manifest themselves as you've described here... Normal topics she always brings up: ... which is just her anxiety driven by the aforementioned neuroticism and low self-esteem. Throw in some hormonal fluctuations every month from Aunt Flo and here you are. These women end up in relationships with men with codependent traits, like I'd say describes 80% of pre-Red Pill men on MRP, because of …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 09:20 PM
7

Then I would recommend spending more time doing that and less time agonizing over perceived white racism from Super Bowl halftime shows.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 07:00 PM
12

I'd say you sound like someone very much in the anger phase, but that would probably just make you angry.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 03:18 PM
5

Not that I even really disagree with this, but one point here: I'm finding the stuff I enjoy reading the most in here tends to space things and add headers, like cliff notes, so you are on the same page and can absorb the content, instead of trying to figure it out as you go. I notice most of the sidebar books do the same. The only problem, if you write 600 words and have a bunch of page breaks and bullet points, is that you're reducing your writing to "porn." There is porn that ends up just bei…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 08:27 PM
5

When it comes to long-form content, there's are some thin lines between - "detailed and thorough" "richly entertaining" "wavering and inconsistent" "completely up your own ass"
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 03:57 PM
5

Yeah, I have more shit to say about this. I wonder though if this actually happens, that the husband gets so annoyed with female incompetence that he doesnt want to touch her. I think shit like this happens when a couple decides to essentially flip gender roles right after having kids. Husband suffers a setback at work, wife gets promoted, they conclude if husband quits his mediocre job and stays home, they'd net the same versus daycare. Sounds great, except, what the fuck. That's a giant new dy…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 01:39 AM
3

I wonder also, how easily they go for the divorce, because men aren't being men, yet here we are, telling guys to man up first, before making rash decisions. Well, note the woman's friend in the article (the hambeast who scared down Dove Bars because her husband got annoyed at her incompetence at household tasks) said she was "considering divorce," and asked her husband "if he wanted to get a divorce." This did not strike me a woman keen on getting a divorce. There are countless places on the in…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 01:12 AM
8

-- Find ways to spend idle time that are essentially producing something and not just consuming media content. Now, producing something will generally require some sort of focused brain activity, so if your goal is to relax before bed, it may be tough to do that right after you run a bunch of 2x4s through a table saw. But my point is, you may be limiting yourself if you ask yourself, "what kind of entertainment media do you suggest I consume to relax?" Do you need to always consume entertainment…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/16 11:59 PM
5

As someone who has more than a half-dozen unfinished manuscripts lying around... the fact that this book simply even exists is a huge accomplishment that many have aspired to, yet few will achieve. Congratulations, BPP.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/16 05:55 AM
27

You're raising some interesting observations, but you seem committed to phrasing it as "hatebait," for lack of abetter word. If you're paraphrasing accurately, then your friend is a moron for making herself sound sociopathic. Maybe she was trying to be "edgy." Who the fuck knows. Or maybe you're paraphrasing uncharitably, because you're a moron for thinking we're young 20 year olds on the main TRP sub who can't upvote shit like this enough. But this is telling. proceeded to explain how when men …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/16 01:29 AM
7

The only concrete ACTION you mention taking recently is losing 22 lbs. You mention "applying Red Pill" but - as I'm sure others a lot more blunt than me will come by to say - there is no Red Pill in anything you wrote. It's a victim puke, but not even a particularly good one. There is something in the sheer desperation of victim pukes that causes some men that come to MRP to at least bare their soul, even if they take no responsibility for the pathetic state of that soul. At least they recognize…
/r/askMRP04/02/16 06:42 PM
4

Quoting myself, because that's the kind of rogue I am: Look, the only meaningful apology is something that communicates this: "I did/didn't do X and I realize now that I hurt you [emotionally, financially, materially, etc]. I recognize my actions had a negative impact on you, I regret my decisions, and would have made different decisions if I could do them over again." That's it. This is the only version of a sincere apology. And if you do feel this way, you probably didn't just say, "sorry." Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/16 12:36 AM
3

This is why the idea of "my wife isn't fucking me, should I use more Dread on her?" is a retarded question. Not because it's 'emotionally abusive' or means you're 'Anger Phase' or whatever. It's a retarded question because that's not how it works. It's like asking, "I'm having trouble lifting as much weight as I want, should I use more gravity?" Gravity isn't something you use, it's just there, just like Dread, in its most natural, passive and purest form, is just there as the simple byproduct o…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 11:33 PM
3

Since you're not an NFL defensive coordinator, I'm going to give you an example of the idea of "broad narratives" that's probably more applicable to you. In fact got another position at work make more money. OK, so, let's talk about our professional lives. A lot of guys here are struggling with some sort of underwhelming career, and they realize it's time to stop acting like an underachieving man-child and get their professional life in order. Presumably that means advancing in terms of title an…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 11:33 PM
7

Jeff, man, you're not getting it. Look, very few things in life are "if A, then B," right? Almost every sport, for example, the beginners are taught "if A, then B." Little kids playing peewee football, for example, the coaches are all trying to basically just get a herd moving in one direction, so they're just going to keep repeating "drive your legs" and "push forward" and basically focus on forward advancement. Then eventually you start introducing misdirection, reverses, laterals, etc. Footba…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 09:48 PM
9

In honestly didn't work on her No. Fucking. Shit. When she shot me down. I would go do something else. Gym , go to the attic, go play video games. Go for a walk. This is not OI. This is you fucking off to do something else because your wife didn't deign to pay tribute to your presence with sex. You are do these things in response to getting rejected. If your wife did have sex with you, you wouldn't slink off to the musty attic, and sneer and hiss like Smeagol about how your wife rejected your pr…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 10:03 AM
4

I literally copy-pasted all this into Notepad, and then printed it out. I'm now struggling to decide whether to frame it on the mantle ABOVE my wife's golden framed diamond-encrusted portrait of me dressed as a Spanish conquistador, or just rub it all over my body and moan in ecstasy.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 03:28 AM
4

Finding out your daughter isn't biologically yours doesn't have to change anything with her. I'm not going to say genetics are irrelevant, but I can guarantee from her POV you're her father and will always be her father. If you were to find out she's not your bio child, it's still entirely up to you whether you want to keep filling that role. What you're probably worried about is this probably would be an unforgivable transgression on behalf of your wife. While she may have been unattracted, if …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 09:44 PM
6

This is fucking great. I actually use this mental technique often, pretty much whenever I'm agitated. It all comes down to, what do you want? Very often there's often some raw emotion lurking below everything, just like any of these: You want to secure your resources, and want the validation that comes with someone desiring you. For others, it may stop at the validation of knowing that you are seen as that top shelf man that women willingly give themselves to. Maybe it is just sex, and a divorce…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 05:02 PM
2

my wife finally agreed to a schedule of sex Sunday and Thursday nights. HER: [she got the hint] yeah let's have sex but As long we can switch from tomorrow night to tonight. I want to leave at 8 Friday to ski. The reason why a "sex schedule" even had any appeal to your wife, is that she likely views it as a discrete activity. Notice how she's trying to block out time in her calendar for it. Say you really liked playing a board game like Monopoly or Risk. They're fun, but you have to get the game…
/r/askMRP29/01/16 03:52 AM
9

This... She has not acted protective or jealous in a LONG time. ... would seem to contradict this, no? Then, the shit test commenced. First, she got pissy because she noticed I had added a few women recently to my linkedin profile. Regardless, this seems like a solid field report. As others have commented, you're "you have to let go and not stay where you are" comment was pretty money. I also told her that she has to give herself permission to enjoy sex. This seems to imply you think her sexual …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 12:50 AM
7

I think we've got your ire and opinion on the matter locked down. I just got to my laptop and heavily edited my comment just now. Unfortunately based on your comment here, I'm sure it didn't accomplish much but except make it more exhausting for you to read. Oh well. But I do want to answer this. stopping while you are ahead a typical problem for you? Aren't you tempted to go all-in when you're dealt J-10 suited and flop a straight-flush draw?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 09:47 PM
7

Look, I just want to stress that AskMRP - guys asking questions and getting advice - should be like 75% of the content. We are literally in uncharted territory compared to the main TRP sub. The reason why the main TRP sub sounds more and more fucking insane with each passing month is that there's an upper bound to how much "spin plates and get a vasectomy" advice you can really share. The guys that take a healthy approach to this, will log the fuck off Reddit and do exactly that. The guys that d…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 09:05 PM
7

I'm just going to point out, again, that is was probably not a good idea for the fragmenting MRP into this subreddit and AskMRP. The guys on AskMRP are mostly misguided, but at least they have some semblance of humility. Since, you know, they're asking questions and seeking advice. And also, if we're going to extend Red Pill ideas beyond "spin plates and get vasectomy and whine about the feminist imperative," maybe we should be exchanging these ideas in the context of our own lives and marriages…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 10:43 AM
14

with the latter having me worried that if I do it incorrectly, it could look like it's the end of this "phase" and the old beta me is coming back. This is why you're fucking up the Comfort Tests. In the beginning her anger or distress were good signs. You try and go out to play sports, she nags "oh look, going out to play your stupid games again," you STFU and leave the house. Clearly her being upset = Shit Test, so of course she's not going to act happy when you don't fail them. But I'd say you…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 02:10 AM
1

I don't particularly care to defend /u/exotictantra because the advice doesn't need to be "different," but for young men in other cultures, they're essentially dealing with their elders having Marriage 1.0 expectations, even though they now live in a US/Western-centric Marriage 2.0 world. So for example, these young men have to deal with things like: Everyone is accustomed to an "honor culture" wherein, for example if your sister's husband hit her, you were expected to march down to his house an…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/16 07:50 AM
1

Would someone who feels secure be more willing to lose weight than someone with some inherent dread? I get why you are rewarding good behaviour, I'm talking about an optimal strategy here. Some athletes perform best with a hardass "old school" coach who exorcises incompetence and irresponsibility by punishing it mercilessly. But others will struggle to fit in a this environment, as they're inclined to rebel and non-conform against anything that's overly rigid and seems to ignore any circumstance…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/16 06:43 AM
1

Based on the context, I gather that his wife did one of these tests, got results she was unhappy with, and freaked out about being a fat cow. OP has a background in fitness and had been leading her in following a routine that has some strength training, and as a result may lead to some lean muscle gain and not just fat. And therefore needs harder data to show progress than just her numbers on the scale going down.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/16 06:22 AM
4

I am fool playing a pre fem-culture game If I recall your earlier posts, I think you're just an introvert who never figured out how to present some positive and warm extroversion. Part of the value our partners add to our marriage is essentially recreational. How do they enhance how we spend our free time? Your wife clearly craved some extroverted socialization in her recreational time. She even told me when I confronted her "well why don't you go out with your friends drinking etc." That fuckin…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/16 06:04 AM
2

It's like a year ago she totaled our car (broke all trust) Question: what the fuck actually happened a year ago? I think it must have been pretty bad. I think you really really really don't want to divorce for all the practical penalties (less time with kids). So you're trying to figure out how you can avoid that therefore obtain the cognitive dissonance (ie. hamster) you need to stay with your wife, and not feel like this decision also means acknowledging that your self-worth amounts to less th…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/16 04:42 AM
4

This is misleading because TRP still has a lot of taint leftover from the primordial PUA ooze it emerged from. PUA was mostly a way for young men to get laid by the women they saw at parties and bars. See group of women, approach group of women. Talk, flirt, escalate, etc. We keep using terminology like "game" and some of us on MRP are still considering it in this PUA context. They imagine some ridiculous scene like going out to dinner with their wife, and then aggressively flirting with the wai…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 11:50 AM
7

You realize this is a literal admission you're in her frame, right? Go figure out a way to be stronger. In your shoes, I'd reach out to my friends that live in another city and ask if they're up for a visitor for the weekend. Make a little road trip out of it. Bring a notebook, make some stops along the way, jot some thoughts down. Go on kickass torrents and download all my favorite albums from 1980-1990, listen to them all on the drive. Stop at a diner, eat at a counter, watch the people there …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 11:22 AM
1

The whole key is moral relativism. Cory doesn't give a shit about anyone else's ideas on what's morally "right" or "wrong." He does what he wants. If it's "wrong," he doesn't care. He lacks the status in society to do this without consequences, but he doesn't care. So ending up in a lawsuit, if not criminally convicted, does not seem "alpha" because it's "stupid." It's stupid because acting so overtly against society's assumed inherent morality has consequences. Think of our society as a board g…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 10:10 AM
11

Well this shit just got real but I can't just divorce, I'm sorry, so I am staying for the kids I also know that I'm going to play the ultimate cad game and just start looking for lays while emotionally un-investing in her. Dude. It makes no sense to go down this path without taking a beat and understanding all your options. Talk to a divorce lawyer. Just have an initial consultation about what the ramifications of divorce are for you. Do you live in an "at fault" state? Every state has "no fault…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 08:10 AM
19

Often in this context this means "missed opportunities" more than anything. OPs daughter meets future boyfriend at a party. Future boyfriend is charismatic and charming. OPs daughter laughs at his jokes, asks if he wants to get some fresh air outside, and makes the typical doe-eyed kiss me, you idiot! looks. Future boyfriend does none of that, as his social extraversion and charm aren't done for "game." So they go back inside, OPs daughter rants to her friend about how future boyfriend must have…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/16 11:37 AM
20

From parsing your post - *You understandably have a romanticized view of your marriage. I'm sure you were happy in your marriage , but the sudden death of a loved one who died before they're old is just a whole fucking level of grief. You will inevitably compare anyone you date to your late wife, and that's going to be hard enough to deal with. It will be literally impossible if those comparisons are to some canonized ideal version that you're holding in your head right now. You may want to cons…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/16 11:00 AM
7

Looks like you got a crack in your frame there, Caddyshack. EDIT: As per Rollo... http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/rooting-through-garbage/ Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Personally I don't think this is canonically true, especially when the consequences of a failed relationship involve partial custody of your children. But OP has no kids, no a…
/r/askMRP23/01/16 06:02 AM
6

I am unclear on why you are not getting divorced. Your wife is clearly an anxious woman with a sex negative attitude. Divorce her and seek women with high self-esteem and low neuroticism, and I suspect you'll get over anger pretty easily. I understand this is not trivial if you have children or significant financial assets. But you don't, so what's stopping you? Your angry because some Red Pill content is leading you to believe your wife's behavior was intended as some sort of psychological mani…
/r/askMRP23/01/16 01:07 AM
25

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're just a narcissist and your wife is codependent. I'm sure there are subtypes for superiority / inferiority for both of you, but that's really as far as your special mental disorder snowflake status gets you. described my emotive abilities as something of a light switch that I would turn on and off when it suited me This is a commonly observed among high-functioning autistic children, or General Anxiety Disorder. But hey, "Aspie" is almost as cool as "Dark Tr…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/16 04:54 AM
6

Things your wife could have said to turn down sex without being a raging cunt: I feel like shit honey, raincheck? I'm happy you don't feel I'm repulsive right now, but I'm repulsive right now. Can we just go to bed so this exhausting day is finally over? Look, I wish you could just fuck this sore throat out of me, but I don't think it works that way. The reason why you're getting some blowback about your wife is essentially shaming and weaponizing sex. I know for me, that's a hard, hard, hard bo…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 09:51 AM
3

because I'm sure it would only take one budget amendment to kill a lot of the promised future value you worked so hard for. Look, you goddamn Mountie, this is America. The last time we cut the defense budget is when Eisenhower returned all the pencil sharpeners and made everyone use their combat knives instead.
/r/askMRP21/01/16 09:01 AM
23

But deep inside beta me sees, "mommy's not happy." Due to my childhood conditioning. Eh, it's probably not this. It's probably that she had a legitimate issue, acted testy and unpleasant when she brought it up, and got exasperated that you arbitrarily started playing "tone police." Which is pretty fucking annoying. But I hope this is a great beginning of setting boundaries for myself Yeah, OK, boundaries. You've been on the other side of having boundaries set, right? Your work or town imposes so…
/r/askMRP21/01/16 04:15 AM
4

I wish OP would just admit he had done some smart financial management, and felt he was in a position to retire, as he did, in his 40s. Presumably his assets would generate income and appreciation passively. Some of those assets would then be inherited by his children, and perhaps he imagined his stuff as a little Kingdom his children could nurture and grow. This divorce will require liquidating and splitting some assets, and that just... Sucks. Visions of the kingdom are dashed. His passive inc…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/16 07:55 AM
9

Here's an idea - stop asking Internet strangers for marriage advice if you don't plan to give them any context.
/r/askMRP18/01/16 04:46 AM
13

Dude. Give me a number. Seriously, giving me a fucking number about how much you'd need to save to reconcile with your piece of shit fucking whore of a wife, who fucking partied and cheated on you while you were infirm, because, I don't know, I guess you had the audacity to get cancer. Give me a fucking number. Tell me how many dollars a man like yourself needs to save, to justify forgiving all that and reconciling. I want to know. I seriously want to know just how much fucking money you'll sell…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/16 04:16 AM
5

Yes. It absolutely fucking is. If your kids are destined to be high achieving successful people, then any inherited wealth will be a low coefficient multiplier, at best. If they get a college undergrad education in a practical field and minimal student debt, then they are already ahead of 99% of their peers. They can figure the rest out. You seem pretty convinced you care more about your financial nest egg then holding any sense of standards and ethics for yourself. Your wife didn't just branch …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/16 10:01 PM
5

Look, what you have to realize is the values of your religion, with respect to sex, probably have you playing a sucker's game. It encourages a very sex-negative mindset not just for your wife - who has been taught her sexuality is something to be protected and defended since she was like, 6 years old. But also for you, since you literally can't even tug on your man stick a couple times without hyperventilating into a guilt-induced state of hypoxia. Recognize that organized religion often puts a …
/r/askMRP15/01/16 08:25 PM
3

Or maybe you realize the Narrator internalized some of Tyler's behavior, and discarded what he thought was too antagonistic and laced with destruction and anger. And maybe that was the way he ended up net-net much happier than he was at the beginning. And we could have a discussion on how that may apply to MRP. Or you could just whine "it's just a MOVIE, GUYZ!" and offer little to no additional introspection.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 07:39 PM
8

Next time just think of Ted Cruz's smarmy smile. If that doesn't stop you from blowing your load early, I got nothing. Seriously though, given your sexless past, do you jack off? Fuck, if I go out of town for four days and don't shoot one out of the chamber, then go into PIV sex when I get home, then I'm going to blow my load in my wife in 13.5 seconds. It was a damn good 13.5 seconds though. Which sound facetious, but I would actually recommend you start thinking this way. I'm sure in your mind…
/r/askMRP15/01/16 07:30 PM
5

Dude, stop using this bullshit term "lack of respect." She expresses negative opinions of you, makes assumptions that you're like (presumably not admirable) members of your family, and makes judgements on your behavior. I get it. It's fucking annoying. You would like her to not have these opinions, or not expressly them so cavalierly. You would like your reference of yourself, and hers, to match up more closely. This isn't limited to wives either. Some of my close friends from my youth still mak…
/r/askMRP15/01/16 09:59 AM
6

She eventually followed up by saying: “If I stay with you it is to have kids” Look, by the strict evo-psych basis of Red Pill, she isn't benefiting from your genetic fitness or your provider abilities. To be honest, this doesn't seem like a structurally compatible relationship. She's already "forgotten" to take the Pill before. She's probably deluding herself in thinking "he's just saying that now, I'm sure he'll want kids later." But you're making it pretty clear that's note the case. I myself …
/r/askMRP15/01/16 12:42 AM
2

Every so often I make a note about something here to ruminate about further. Your comment is one of those notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 06:39 PM
11

A few observations. There is no good definition of AWALT for MRP. Seriously, all you guys here, give me a succinct definition of what the T means. I like to use the definition of "all women are attracted to men correlated to their value." A very key distinction, IMO, is some women have an emotionally healthy definition of value and some are anxious/narcissistic bitches. In the former, you mostly just have to "stop being the Drunk Captain" and start adopting positive and masculine behaviors. Any …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 12:04 PM
6

OK, so, number one, I am fucking infuriated with the shitty formatting in this post. Everyone here knows I literally get me fucking nuts off at parsing everyone's victim puke's and you had a fucking treasure trove of puke I would normally enjoy sifting through, and you fucking can't seem to remember that starting a new line break in Reddit means hitting the enter key twice. So, seriously, go fuck yourself and this unreadable piece of shit. In the summer of 2009 the shit really hit the fan in a g…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 11:03 AM
4

I know you're probably used to thinking you're a unique and beautiful snowflake, but this Subreddit does not exist to entertain questions like this, from people like you. /r/PurplePillDebate is over there. In fact, this question has already been answered countless times there. But you already knew that. So let's just let the mods nuke this post, and find something better to do with our time, eh? Sorry your game of "poke the Red Pillers with a stick and snicker" wasn't as entertaining as you hope…
/r/askMRP10/01/16 10:53 PM
10

So she thinks Im with her for sex and that I will play her just to get sex, and if she doesn't put out then I will just cheat You won't "play" her, but you're signing up for monogamy, not celibacy. You desire to have a marriage with a healthy sex life. If that doesn't happen, you would look internally. Are you an unattractive person? You'd consider that and try to become more attractive. But in lieu of that, then yes. You would not be in a marriage without a healthy sex life. It's mandatory. You…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 09:49 AM
2

Your points on the kids are misplaced somewhat since Dad can just get on the birth certificate and court's don't really care if Dad is married or not because they already have custody figured out (Hint: Dad pays, mom gets custody). This is usually the case, but not guaranteed. The article I linked to is a good example.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 02:48 AM
1

Also, paging /u/BluePillProfessor, who I believe has a legal background in this shit. IANAL, I'm just a guy familiar with basic divorce case law from my own divorce. If I'm erroneous about any of the above, please point it out. Last thing Red Pill needs is more /r/badlegaladvice.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 01:15 AM
8

Note the OP in the RPW post said the guy really wanted to have children with her. From the OP: Additionally, he wants more children very, very badly. We've often discussed our kids, and laughed over which features they'll have, etc. There's no WAY I am having babies with a man if we're not married! Women, whether "RP" or not, still want the same thing: legally-defined resource security. I might point out that in this particular case, "legally-defined resource security" has benefits for the man t…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 01:08 AM
4

/u/irateMD is mostly right. In general you may notice I actually use very few declarative statements in my writing. And when I typically do so, I'll put them in big-ass bold letters. Hell, just parse out the last few sentences I wrote. "Mostly right"; "in general"; "very few"; "typically." Some people think this overly-qualified way of writing makes it weaker. But a lot of my sentences have qualifiers because I think sentences that are purely strong declarative statements are like a scene with a…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 08:10 PM
7

Yes, but, DT towards the desired outcome: divorce with a minimum financial penalty and full custody of the kids. Despite what the Red Pill will have you believe, men can play dirty in divorce and win. Most dont, because they're beta losers, and their wives stop fucking them, then they cheat and get caught, and end up giving up everything out of guilt. But you can find ways to shelter financial assets, document time spent with kids that makes your wife look irresponsible, etc. Move your family to…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 12:58 PM
12

I don't know where you got "re-arrange" whole schedule. Er... probably from your FR where you did exactly that? Look, man. I could really give two shits if you're in the "anger phase." It's not very hard to see you're always going to have some level of resentment of your marriage, because you're essentially stuck with this situation where you can't divorce your wife without paying heavy financial penalties and exposing your children to her unmitigated bad parenting. You seem to readily admit tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 12:37 PM
9

Well OP didn't actually PM me, and there seems to be some desire to hear what I'd advise, so I'll just outline some broad strokes on what I'd say to him. The following advice is very much NOT canonical Red Pill. In fact, some of this advice is so dangerously FUSCIA that if you squint hard, it may actually seem downright BLUE. I'm approaching this as if I was advising a friend in real life that had no idea what the fuck Reddit was, let alone the Red Pill, who came to me and said, "Jack, man, I th…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 10:51 AM
2

Now she has dental coverage... im sure the dentist could do something...but she refuses to get it looked at So call a dentist, make an appointment as soon as possible. Tell her she's going. If she doesn't go, tell her you both have a household to run, and you've been trying to shoulder her load for 3 months now and you're over it. She needs to take an active role in managing her health because the status quo is intolerable. You have no problems being supportive of any health problems, but it's i…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 08:53 AM
20

You will fuck me tonight. If you don't... Oh I know the answer to this one! It goes: "... I'm just going to do other shit, since I have other shit to do anyway." You will fuck me tonight. If you don't, you won't see me for 5 combined minutes til Sunday. I won't answer a single text, email, or call as I'm going to be really really busy. I will workout two hours each day, I'll be very early to the office, and I most certainly will look to fuck someone else. Hopefully one of your friends. Maybe the…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 08:14 AM
5

They attempt to correct a perceived power imbalance in society by wresting control of their relationships and then justify it by asserting that this is the natural order of things (via "biotruths") and that women love it, they just don't realize or admit it. I completely recognize your husband, specifically, is acting this way. I have no doubt in my mind that his dipshit behavior in the past couple months is because he read some Red Pill content and it exposed two deep-seated insecurities he had…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/16 11:53 AM
44

Well, that's unfortunate. I'm in the minority who doesn't think your wife is a cunt. Mostly because I think RPW is actually some really weak shit, but that's another story. I also suspect you were pretty happy in your "Blue Pill" marriage, until reading some Red Pill shit somehow caused these buried feelings of insecurity, from all the times you were overlooked by some girl in high school/college/whatever, and caused you to resent your wife for no reason. It probably also opened up feelings of i…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 10:43 AM
8

I don't buy into all this bitching me. Basically this sub is just "let's mock some guys after following what we say word for word". Realize that this is not the stinging rebuttal you probably imagined it was in your mind, but just more condemnation of your utter stupidity, particularly the "word for word" part. It is impossible to follow Red Pill "word for word." If you tried to combine all the Red Pill content (the subreddits, the prerequisite books like NMMNG/MMSLP/etc, and the the popular blo…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 10:05 AM
6

When a woman clearly tells you to let her go you fucking let her go. It is not about frame. It is her body, so every time you go to penetrate her you are entering her frame. That is how it works. Eh, not crazy about this wording. Every time you fuck your wife, you're asking her to enter your frame. That's the only way you can have (mutually) enjoyable sex. When your wife starfishes, she's consenting to sex, but she's not entering your frame. Resistance from your wife is her objection to entering…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 09:44 AM
2

This was the OP (which was better formatted than this cross-post): https://np.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/3zfh4q/advice_my_husband_is_genuinely_a_nice_guy_and_its/ For what it's worth, I thought this was some great RPW-esque advice: https://np.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/3zfh4q/advice_my_husband_is_genuinely_a_nice_guy_and_its/cymbwpa?context=3
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/16 05:53 AM
21

What if TRP is wrong? Yep. You figured it out. It couldn't possible be because you're fucking things up. "Uh, wait, your hands are cold, warm them up" (she's generally very sensitive of cold) So, she's initiating here, right? It's not like you initiated and she's making you jump through a bunch of hoops and maybe you get some starfish sex at the end. Also, this sexual encounter is going to involve her pleasuring you. Since your enjoyment will probably be correlated to how authentically happy she…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 12:01 AM
7

If you want to go "authentically caveman," stop fapping for awhile. You won't "decide to try caveman," you'll be so backed up you'll just have to take her right then and now. You'll also probably blow your load a lot more readily. So, win-win. Give that a try. I could go into more detail but it just seems like she's keeping her turn ons very secret. Chances are she was raised in a conservative environment where sexuality was synonymous with "purity," and women having their own conscious agency i…
/r/askMRP05/01/16 11:35 PM
8

The only reason you want to tell your wife is because you think that's the only way to ensure you don't get charmed by Ms. BPD again. Which is some weak as shit thinking. I would advise this as your general roadmap. First you need to get Ms. BPD out of your life for good. I can't tell you whether you should tell your wife or not. But I can tell you that it shouldn't happen until several months, if not a year, after your last contact with Ms. BPD. Then: I guess my ego got all fucked up in the suc…
/r/askMRP04/01/16 12:11 PM
1

And how she doesn't know who I am anymore and how I'm not predictable and how it's like I don't give a shit about anything anymore. Question -- has she started reacting positively to your post-Red Pill behavior? Now she is obviously pissed because I won't inter her frame and beg forgiveness or something. To rephrase: are there any indications she's willing to enter your frame, or are you just getting a bunch of Shit Tests? dgaf attitude and trying to be unpredictable I get the sense there's zero…
/r/askMRP04/01/16 11:34 AM
2

He's not. He also doesn't have kids, so what's wrong with nuking this shit and starting his whole Red Pill journey without the baggage of this marriage? Does self-improvement only happen in the context of a fucked marriage to an emotionally damaged histrionic / narcissistic woman? You've used the "sparring partner" analogy, but this is bad sparring partner. The whole "well you might as well improve in this context because any LTR will offer the same challenges," probably doesn't apply when there…
/r/askMRP03/01/16 03:52 AM
2

Well, yeah. Women are a lot more inclined to give up agency. When you market to women you basically sell a story of some product that will solve all their problems. When you market to men you sell a story of some product that will help them achieve all their goals. Mind blown?
/r/askMRP02/01/16 10:15 AM
6

spent the next 2 days heavily researching about divorce Dude, stop Googling and talk to a real lawyer. Your marriage is probably over, man. Your wife probably learned some really bad impulse control and emotional regulation in her formative years. Through in the stress of a new baby and a big move and she's a fucking mess. Which is one thing, but the whole physical violence thing, you can't win that game. If this was a one-off Main Event and maybe just a single swing at you, then, eh, maybe. The…
/r/askMRP02/01/16 09:41 AM
2

As you say I have about 24 hours to think it out and act, currently I'm leaning towards staying and sucking it up until I sort things out by finding a new job (four weeks notice) and transferring funds out of the country If you think you can "play act" for a few months, then I think this is what you should do. In a way, you get to "embrace your inner Dark Triad" and turn the tables on your cheating cunt of a wife without her realizing it. Just act like a clueless dipshit who's perfectly satisfie…
/r/askMRP02/01/16 08:23 AM
9

I'm sure it's just her not wanting me to be assertive? You really thought you were being assertive? These responses are being assertive. "Sure, go for it." "That's going to take you at least an hour, there's just not enough time." "That's a good idea since we won't have time to prep food tomorrow, but that may make us late tonight. Let me see if I can push back the dinner plans 20 minutes." You just lamely second-guessed her. Even worse, you did it in a pretty silly manner. Instead of just a str…
/r/askMRP02/01/16 07:47 AM
5

I need to quit worrying so much about it and hold fast to faith in God. No. No. Ugh. You seem receptive to everything I said, but this is NOT the conclusion I wanted you to draw. Look, a big reason why religious participation in contemporary Western society is because of there's too much organized religion that promotes, essentially, a lack of agency. by the grace of God I started to change I start praying to God for help, wisdom, strength, and protection as I head home opportunity to... see God…
/r/askMRP31/12/15 11:21 PM
10

Week 3 I started getting bitter and my tone changed (but I wouldn't realize it till week 4) Look, you're religious, right? So you have to realize that a strong religious faith makes it really easy to act like a smug dipshit. Think about the smirk on your face you get when you realize someone is pushing/pulling the wrong way on the door. You know the right way to push the door. You are amused at how completely wrong the other person is. And when they turn around and see you, see that self-satisfi…
/r/askMRP31/12/15 08:54 AM
4

EDIT: I am in no way an expert. I still have a lot to learn and im sure people will point out how things could have gone differently. Yeah, no shit. Look, all you need to do is figure out whether you still give a shit about your marriage or not. If you do, then all your Shitty Comfort Tests are "easily" passed when you frame it as this: I know you're scared, and you trust your fear more than me. But if you do start trusting me, I think you'll see better outcomes than you've gotten trusting your …
/r/askMRP31/12/15 04:26 AM
7

Instead of shit/comfort tests, they all become "shitty comfort tests." You have zero Captain or oak in your response. Stoic, sure, but that's not what your wife wants. She doesn't want what she says she wants either, but she doesn't just want an unresponsive and evasive husband who keeps walking out of the room. You somehow have the insight, unlikely many men, to realize criticism from their anxious wives comes from a place of fear. Yet you act ignorant of that fear. You absolutely should NOT pl…
/r/askMRP31/12/15 04:15 AM
2

Give me a sec, buddy. I gotta get a band-aid because your edge gave me a paper cut.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/15 06:46 AM
1

I play with women like a child plays with insects for their own entertainment. I actually prefer women that are psychopathic and narcissistic because they are like me so I can relate to them and find their company enjoyable or at least bearable. You will meet a woman with borderline personality disorder. You will play your "game." You will think you're easily winning. Until around the point you realize she's destroyed your life, because in her mind, there was never any game. Enjoy!
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/15 05:51 AM
9

I have no idea if any of the self-improvement I've been doing over the last year in marriedredpill has really been working or if I've allowed myself to be fooled to believe it's working. Look, canonical Red Pill advice pretty much assumes you're "beta bucks." The bucks implies you're the devoted, hard-working husband, who has focused every iota of his life for everyone but himself, and has led to: a) your wife pretty much taking all that granted because of how readily you do it and b) your wife …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/15 08:30 AM
8

Yes, but I don't think you're swallowing the Red Pill in the context of your own life and marriage. Look, when your wife drops the D-word, she's basically saying this: "I think our marriage is subtracting value from my life, and so therefore terminating my marriage will add net positive value." Now, this is a subjective statement, because value is generally subjective. Your definition of value and her definition of value will differ. You can think of frame as whose definitions of values are pred…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/15 07:35 AM
1

Your wife didn't just attack you, she went at you full-force and you had to judo flip her or some shit. Then she sulked, you opened two beers and gave her one, and said something like, "man that got my adrenaline going." Then later on you had sex, so, sure. All's well in the life of Sepean, I guess. Your wife has some fucked up mental models. Sure, all women hamster, but your wife has some especially non-neurotypical hamstering. I don't think she has a mental illness like BPD, to be honest. Just…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/15 10:25 AM
3

I get the sense your wife wants more from your companionship. I forget where /u/whinemoreplease said this, but it was something like... Him and his wife both make decisions best for them as individuals, and then they make decisions best for them as a unit. Your "attention -> sex" cycle is too focused on the former. Your wife would prefer to get more positive behavior from you but has no idea how to do that but sex. You mentioned she was getting a lot better at following your financial plans. But…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/15 09:51 AM
15

This is exactly right, IMO. She does clearly feel guilty about denying her husband. That's good, in the sense that she cares how he feels. How many wives would do the whole, Oh you don't want to have sex so you ignore me? Do you even know how stressed I am? Maybe instead acting like a horny teenager you did some chores around the house... blah blah blah. So this means these two things. She's an empathetic woman who probably won't require much Dread to realize the best way to express that empathy…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/15 08:05 PM
2

Attention from an "asshole" is still attention. This is just typical "pull her ponytail on the playground" dynamics. You don't pull the ponytail of girls you're not interested. They don't chase you, in mock exasperation, if they're not interested. She doesn't remember tonight as all the times you pulled her ponytail. She just remember you chased her, she chased you, and you ended up tackling each other underneath the monkey bars. If you came home and she cooked dinner and poured your favorite dr…
/r/askMRP17/12/15 01:20 AM
2

Eh. The root cause is your financial discipline. She is worried the Captain is going over budget. But of course she's going to worry about her unit's budget. It's like the CEO being told by his VPs they need more staff. CEO says, OK, what positions do we need to open and fill. VP of Marketing says he needs more marketing guys. Of course he fucking does. Your First Officer can raise a salient point and a dumb solution. All you had to say was, that's right, we should come up with a long-term spend…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 12:57 PM
7

There's some pretty heavy messaging on the main TRP sub that any woman will fuck any guy who is sufficiently attractive. The whole "would she give that excuse to Brad Pitt?" argument. Plus we use the vessel/container analogy here all the time. She's shitty because you were a shitty container. But then everyone assumes the contrapositive. But it's possible to become a strong container and your wife doesn't step it up on her end. She was always going to be shitty in a shitty container, but she may…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 12:28 PM
9

Given you seem to struggle to plan your day around simple errands, and you feel threatened by your wife calling her father to pick up the balls you drop, you may want to revisit your decision to pursue extra marital affairs. That sounds like some Blue Pill beta shaming, but hear me out. You clearly have room to improve as far as your competence leading your family. Chasing pussy is work, man. The high SMV may get you IOIs and some flirtatious banter, but you still gotta close that shit. Arrange …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 11:55 AM
8

Look, the only meaningful apology is something that communicates this: *I did/didn't do X and I realize now that I hurt you [emotionally, financially, materially, etc]. I recognize my actions had a negative impact on you, I regret my decisions, and would have made different decisions if I could do them over again." That's it. This is the only version of a sincere apology. And if you *do feel this way, you probably didn't just say, "sorry." You probably apologized with a lot more words, and your …
/r/askMRP15/12/15 02:57 AM
5

You set a boundary, but you recognize it's literally just a chalk line on the ground. If she's not a shitty person, she won't cross the boundary. But you recognize that nothing, really, can stepping over whenever she wants to. That's why what she did is so fucked up. You said, look, go wherever you want, just don't step over this line, I can't stop you from doing it, but it's important to me that you don't. And what'd she do? Stepped over the goddamn line. So you can't trust her. You literally c…
/r/askMRP14/12/15 06:54 PM
9

Hence why this all happens: I maintain frame, tell her she should do what she feels is best (i.e. I'm not going to be intimidated into submission by her divorce threats) and I'm going to take care of her and our kids, I love her and things will be alight. I've also been focusing on being a better captain. I make sure we have everything for the new baby, plan outings, take care of her. But her behavior has been escalating, the divorce discussion has been getting more concrete and it wouldn't surp…
/r/askMRP14/12/15 10:28 AM
14

Ugh. You're fucked. "You'll never win a fight with a woman, This is true for high anxiety women who mask their low self-esteem with narcissism, which I suspect describes your wife to a T. At some point most people develop maturity to realize, "if person X did action Y and I feel bad, I can't always just blame X for making me feel bad." But the women who don't realize this... ugh, what a fucking pain in the ass. Because something like this almost always happens early in a relationship with them. …
/r/askMRP14/12/15 09:19 AM
3

Last night started when she said she wanted to go out to a Mexican restaurant which we used to go to a lot. I told her we don't need to go out to dinner and that I had plans to grill some steak for dinner (I enjoy cooking and am a better cook than she and thus do most of the cooking - not sure if this is beta shit to get rid of or not). Anyway, when I got home, she was in full bitch mode. Sent me a text as I was pulling up to the house "So much for what I wanted." I don't think this was a Main E…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 05:16 AM
2

Wait, wait, WAIT, my friend literally grabs me and spins me around before I can leave. No, sorry, you don't get to philosophize on some drunken ramblings and pretend like you're being profound. Your conclusion made no fucking sense. I sigh, and th-- AND STOP SIGHING, he says, which is admittedly a valid point. "Look, there's some shitty feedback loop going on here. Your wife takes you for granted and assumes as long as she's the in the running for Mother of the Year, you have no grounds to be cr…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 12:14 PM
3

I groan. "We have NOT drank enough Harps for you to be saying that Blue Pill beta bullshit." What? "Never mind. Look. When your wife is shitty about something that has some validity, you address the valid part." I tell him a story about how I forgot some errand, and my wife blew up at me because I forgot the orange juice, so I just about-faced and left the house. She blew up my phone, I ignored it all. I came back two hours later with orange juice. But you told me I shouldn't leave the house. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 11:41 AM
3

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT COVERT CONTRACTS, my friend says, getting pretty exasperated. "Yeah, so, that. Look, your mistake is you see both sides of your grievances, so you try and find some higher ground where only you have the grievance. Which is why all your arguments become a shootout where you both itemize the sacrifices you've made for each other and your family, and you always lose. Because it always comes down to you you saying YOU DON'T FUCK ME AS OFTEN AS I'D LIKE and she says SORRY I DON'…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 11:22 AM
3

So I'm sitting there, flush with a few Harps and that delicious Tory cash. I show my friend my bank account, flush with all this quid, signed with a comment from George Osborne himself which says Tremendous idea, chap! Here's some money from some NHS pension funds. If you know how we can convince our populace that all our minority populations should only be worth three-fifths of a vote, Minister Cameron is all ears. "I feel like we've sort of lost the plot here," I say. Yeah, well, you were givi…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 11:03 AM
3

So I start telling him about this thing called Reddit, and a thing called Red Pill, and there's a subsection for married guys, then I realize that's all pointless because he has bigger problems than blowjobs. So I say this. "Look man, if your wife is out of line and pisses you off, own it. Just cut right to the core. The CEO would do this. The VP storms in, he clears the room. Then he'd sigh, massage his gray-fringed temples, and say, you know, I guess I'm just disappointed you felt this is the …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 10:40 AM
3

OK, so, I just poured a Jack and diet for old times sake. By the way, you're not an alcoholic, you just have an alcohol abuse problem when you feel anxious and/or depressed. Find a different coping mechanism when you feel anxious/depressed, and you don't need a 12 step program. If it's midnight, and your wife went to bed without fucking you, and you're still pissed off, and you go for a jog in your neighborhood to let off some steam, and you get back and still feel compelled to open up a Guiness…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 10:14 AM
2

Look, I don't know if it's worth anything, but I had a friend who was struggling with his former-CEO-now-SAHM wife, and I pretty much just copy-pasted what I wrote to you several months ago verbatim. He actually had a similar incident a month later. Wife came home from some recreational trip, immediately started criticizing the state of the household despite his SuperDad efforts. So he says to me, dude, you told me to act like CEO. Well if I was CEO, I'd fire her fucking ass. So should I get a d…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 09:36 AM
3

Doesn't give blowjobs is completely fucking bullshit if the girl fucks properly in other ways. Weird religious brainwashing (or sexual assault maybe) is like the only real excuse I can fathom because that shit is deep seated, but that kind of stuff is usually pretty obvious in all areas of sex, not just BJs. Our disagreement likely stems from this. This is clearly how /u/Countpudyoola feels, as he has informed everyone in size-48 point font. You and him cannot fathom a woman who hates blowjobs b…
/r/askMRP10/12/15 11:54 PM
3

but dread the right way is tingle inducing and when girls get the tingles they are MUCH more receptive to a cock in their mouth. No, this isn't how it works. Dread is all about anxiety and removing that anxiety. That's it. Now, people will do absurd things remove that anxiety, such as buy consumer electronics or give blow jobs, when they don't actually want to do those things. If you bought insurance for literally anything, this is exactly what went through your head. Did you want to pay extra m…
/r/askMRP10/12/15 11:54 PM
5

Now, here's where there's a gray area. A lot of commenter are going to think OPs wife is full of shit. Because they have wives that claimed they hated blowjobs, but now enthusiastically deep-throating them all the time. But here's what happened. Go back to my earlier "Healthy Dread" sentence: I NEED to do something nice for him. I WANT to cook him a steak, because I like cooking. Those wives liked blow jobs, but they didn't feel they needed to give them, or do anything in particular to add value…
/r/askMRP10/12/15 01:06 PM
8

This is the only good answer, but unfortunately you've phrased things insufficiently Red Pill. So let me try. In my screed about Dread - which I'd link to but I'm on my phone, so fuck it - I compared Dread to marketing campaigns and the idea of anxiety. Good passive Dread works like a good marketing campaign. It shows you an attractive product, implies that only a select, elite kind of person can own that product, and maybe this product won't be around forever. These ideas generate anxiety, whic…
/r/askMRP10/12/15 12:06 PM
10

Don't send her the letter. Never in the history of anything has sending an emotionally laced letter ever been to anyone's benefit. You've discovered the Red Pill literally a week ago. The fact that you even considered writing a letter means you clearly haven't internalized anything close to its core principles. Let me paint a scene for you. You decide to have some mutual friends over on a Friday and invite your wife as well. She's worried it'll be awkward. Tell her you don't think so. She'll ask…
/r/askMRP08/12/15 10:14 AM
20

I just wish she would realize that I want things to be good between us - I'm not trying to hurt her. OP: When you say "things will be good for her, too," you probably need to extend your thinking beyond, "well I'll be a better-looking guy, ergo I'll be a higher value male, ergo that's good for her in itself." But isn't exactly false in isolation, but should be far from the totality of your thinking. You sort of need to drop your Chad Thundercock pretenses here, because you're not even acting lik…
/r/askMRP05/12/15 10:51 PM
23

Hint: She's not crying because you bought red wine. I'm just gonna go ahead and explain what her crying is about... mostly because, let's be honest, it lets my hijack the top-voted comment. So there are some men here who literally dedicate every fiber of their being to their household and family, and still get a shrew harpy wife who hamsters invented transgressions as excuses to avoid having sex. These are the men we generally tell to stay the course, ignore the Shit Tests, and invest in themsel…
/r/askMRP05/12/15 10:51 PM
23

We have financial difficulties since I lost my job She can no longer handle the struggle She also told that she has lost respect for me. You are a low value male, and your kids are old enough that your wife has moved past the "Security" phase. She no longer sees you as someone that can add value to her life. You are a net negative to the marriage, so she wants to terminate it. It's really that simple. I'm sure you feel this is shitty. And, well, it is. The harsh fact in life is that as much as w…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 11:48 PM
3

There is no specific advice except improving the traits such as leadership, competence, strength, empathy, and stability. Your wife may eventually convinced this is "the real you." Or she may still dump your ass. And realize "checking in" with her is pointless, because your achievement of these goals are almost irrelevant. She just wants to be convinced she's married to the kind of person who find those traits important and always intrinsically seek to improve them. Any conversations you have wi…
/r/askMRP01/12/15 11:13 AM
1

Appreciate the shout-out, BPP. Thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/15 09:53 AM
28

which says the opposite of what I'm saying here. Just my observation, but both /u/Sepean and /u/Ferocian both think they're right right because they're both mostly projecting your their experiences, and then each posting it as if it should be conventional Red Pill wisdom. A torrent of wife Shit Testing can be an indication of a man successfully applying Red Pill advice. It can also be an indication of a guy being way too aggressive and confrontational than necessary. We have countless posts here…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/15 09:37 AM
15

She admitted that she "loves me, but doesn't much like me right now", and mentioned having a criterion — something she wants me to do — by which she was judging her potential for staying. She wouldn’t say what it was, because then “how would I know if it’s genuine and not just you giving me what I want?” I pressed, telling her to stop playing games and to just spit it out if she needed something. She replied “No, because if you do it and I end up leaving, then you’ll just hold it against me.” Sh…
/r/askMRP25/11/15 09:34 PM
9

I've thought about this. I think the MRP community is "self-selecting" to actually be more likely to have "frigid wives" though. Many of us had formative years that resulted in heavily codependent traits. We put a lot of value into making others feel good, even at the expense of ourselves. Codependent men generally end up with women with low self-esteem (sometimes manifesting as narcissism) and anxiety. These are not women confident in themselves and comfortable with their sexuality. Unfortunate…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 03:57 AM
27

EDIT: Thanks for the gold, /u/trp_dude! Dude. AWALT, yeah, sure, but your story isn't the case of the long-suffering beta bucks who served his wife hand and foot while she fucked a bunch of Chads and not him. You willingly admit you spent roughly 60% of your marriage as some combination of being an obese fatass, a drug-addicted loser, or both. Of the balance of your marriage, you were just college kids for half that time. So your wife has only gotten to experience approximately 16.6% of your mar…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 11:31 AM
4

I'm just gonna drop in a little "told ya so" here. His wife is freaking out about him acting like an asshole because he's acting like an asshole. This is not about leadership or submission or control or anxiety. This is just someone who spent too much time reading shit written by the 23 year Olds on the main TRP sub. Probably because, as I theorized, you're pissed off that you've fucked less than 5 women in your life because you swallowed way too much blue pill shit in your past. OP - your wife …
/r/askMRP21/11/15 10:49 AM
13

Sigh. I am like 99% sure the OP stumbled in here after reading Rollo, which is like taking the Red Pill cut with amphetamines. If your introduction to the Red Pill is Rollo, it's really hard not to wind up in a raging torrent of fury or panicked frenzy of desperation. OP: ask yourself if Rollo buys into his own cynical view of the world, why he's married and has a daughter and seems pretty fucking smug and satisfied with his own life. Clearly he feels it's possible to live a enjoyable married Re…
/r/askMRP21/11/15 09:05 AM
5

Look, here's your problem. You've been a drunk Captain for way too long and your wife has built up a huge reservoir of resentment. Part of this is projection. If she was a better Captain herself, life wouldn't be so stressful. I have guys that PM me and talk about their professionally successful wives who run the household like a well-oiled machine, but, surprise surprise, their interest in investing in the household stops at her husbands sexual needs. Your problem is easy compared to them, beca…
/r/askMRP20/11/15 08:14 PM
21

Nothing is as simple as any of the prerequisites lay out, this girl requires exceptions to every rule This is unlikely to actually be true. Your victim puke is frustratingly vague. This is as much as I've been able to parse. Part of what drew me to her in the first place was her independence, self awareness, and drive; now it's biting me in the ass. OK, so your wife is a Type A, high-anxiety person, and you thought you were initially compatible because... At first the synergy worked for us, happ…
/r/askMRP20/11/15 10:38 AM
5

Fuck it. You want to know what I think you're structurally doing wrong, here it is. I had a nuclear fight with my wife last week and since then I've taken a deep dive into TRP and the Rational Male. This implies you didn't start learning about Red Pill wisdom until a week ago. And in the span of a week you've already started thinking about divorce. The reason why we keep saying read MOAR N00B! is not because we like to act like bullies on the playground to make up for all the times we were picke…
/r/askMRP19/11/15 02:17 AM
11

Totally.
/r/askMRP18/11/15 09:01 PM
6

You're going to have to explain this, then. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/3t54sr/followup_to_should_i_divorce_my_wife_oatmeal/cx3kby2 EDIT: My own screenshot, just in case the comment gets deleted and/or anyone thinks TBP screenshot was edited - http://imgur.com/l2fRwmZ
/r/askMRP18/11/15 08:54 PM
13

To anyone tempted to jump in here and tell this guy he's an idiot, don't bother. Say what you want about TBP subreddit, but they're sometimes better at identifying our own trolls than we are. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/3t54sr/followup_to_should_i_divorce_my_wife_oatmeal/ This is literally the same guy who posted the "Oatmeal Face" thread a few days ago.
/r/askMRP18/11/15 08:40 PM
3

Dude. I love this. For my own writing, I try to be very selective when using E-Prime statements. They can be very powerful and direct and should be used sparingly. The weakest posts on MRP will generally be those filled with E-Prime statements yet not backed by more than just a subconscious sense of intuition, if even that. Which is why so many of my comments involve an E-Prime statement that is heavily emphasized, then a bunch of extra sentences explaining why I'm taking this stance. Note: This…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/15 08:25 PM
22

So you disregarded most the advice given to you and continue to fuck things up even more? And you're concerned about fucking up to the point of soliciting validation from some strangers on the internet, and mask that concern by saying, "outcome independence 4lyfe, brahs!"? Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're way too steeped into the anger phase to put together a remotely coherent response to everything you're learning while trying to unplug. You read some shit on the internet a week ag…
/r/askMRP18/11/15 07:55 PM
9

Sigh. Look, you need to knock this shit off. But while ive been doing this ive also been really controlling tell her who she can and cant hang around and that she cannot drink alcohol when im not around... she needs to be home before midnight... and ive been getting really jealous of her co workers... i'm starting to act like a little bitch. Always wanting to talk about us and feelings and stuff... which is hard for me because I want certainty and that i don't have it makes me extremely anxious …
/r/askMRP16/11/15 07:54 AM
29

Dude. Seriously, go fuck yourself. You let yourself get castrated in your marriage for years, and can't even put in the four hours, max, it would take to go through some of the sidebar material. You already know the fucking answer too. She doesn’t respect me. She thinks I’m incompetent. All these little chores are shit-tests and if I mess up one time out of 100, she will use that one instance, that single isolated transgression to justify her notion that I am some kind of irresponsible, sad excu…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/15 02:21 AM
2

OP's one biggest flaw (from her posts here) is that she reacts emotionally to conflict and therefore handles it very, very poorly. For what it's worth, this was my overall opinion about what's really going on, and why I was so charitable to OP: OP said her husband's been "turning on the Dread" and starts giving examples of how he hits on other women in front of her and then blows OP off. This isn't just Dread, but an overt threat to fidelity. There are some women, as I suspect OP is, that are es…
/r/askMRP15/11/15 03:21 AM
8

So, if we concede all that is true, then why is your husband acting like such a dick? Should he be disappointed? Frustrated? Yeah OK, sure. You may be charitable enough to stipulate that, but why does he have to take it out on you? You never gave him that advice! Aren't you supposed to be mostly-approved MRP wife material? You say you're attractive, you have sex frequently, you contribute to your household. So what the fuck is his problem? Because here's another thing nobody told your husband: t…
/r/askMRP14/11/15 07:38 AM
11

Look, you got a lot of comments saying you're probably a terrible wife and you should just stop crying about how you no longer have your sweet beta bucks with his unconditional love. But this in particular stood out to me from /u/[deleted]: At some point, if he gets to a point where he's happy with himself, he's going to resent OP, because you will be a reflection of his failures for so many years. So let's dig into that, because I think this is pretty common. I'd call this "latent anger state."…
/r/askMRP14/11/15 07:38 AM
20

Way too much active Dread. Since you and your FL wife decided to procreate every other year, your wife is stupidly deep in the "Security Phase" as Rollo describes. She needs those beta bucks hard. It sounds like you've really way too overt with your Dread. "If we're not fucking then I'm going to leave you" has been an explicit message. This will ge lt your wife to fuck you, but it's a purely compulsory reaction. She wants to fuck you so you don't leave, but she doesn't actually want to fuck you …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 07:06 PM
5

You're really going have to explain how the fuck your parents go some sort of court order for custody of your kid, without you having any idea this was going to happen. I've been divorced, although not nearly as dramatically, so my legal knowledge is limited. But the only way your parents could get even temporary is if your marriage has been a fucking trainwreck to the point where they had documented evidence to show to a judge, and then you missed some sort of court date to indicate otherwise. …
/r/askMRP31/10/15 02:01 AM
16

So I've been following your saga and not commenting because I still think you were retarded for taking unilateral control over your finances in a stupidly confrontational way. That move was destined to turn your wife into a Shit Testing harpy well before you had the frame to handle it, and it seems like it did, but you have been managing to weather the storm and not completely buckle and end up divorced. I honestly don't know where the women of your generation got this idea that denying sex to y…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 11:11 PM
170

Something of a counterargument: the men who need to actively remember this, almost definitely don't have a strong enough frame to consistently manage the inevitable result -- which as you described, is typically: However, what do you do when your wife persists and chases you around the house with her raging emotions trying to initiate verbal intercourse (aka talking)? The analog to a woman's sexuality is a man's attention. The basic transaction in male/female courtship is men trading attention a…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/15 01:21 AM
4

I have a negative opinion of families with a SAHM setup, but they're mostly personal. For example, I think one of the best things you can do for your kids is to be financially secure in your old age. I have too many friends in their early 50s with like $240,000 in a 401k and that's it. A 65 year old with average blood pressure and no cancer is expected to live until age 83. Are you and your wife saving enough to provide everything you want for your kids and take care of yourself for several deca…
/r/askMRP28/10/15 10:26 AM
27

Sorry, this is retarded. You were zoning out in front of a screen and your wife wanted you to pay attention to a logistical issue. If you were doing something constructive with your time besides playing some dipshit FarmMafiaVilleClans app, then this would have been a non-issue. My wife will ask "can you stop X and pay attention to what I'm saying?" when X is watching TV or otherwise fucking around. When I'm getting shit done around the house or working on one of my hobbies, I get, "hey, did we …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/15 09:03 AM
1

Look, the basic transaction is attention for sex. Men trade attention for sex. Every type of male-female interaction follows this. Little boys tease the girls they actually like the most. High school boys tolerate a shitty rom-com movie to get a hand job in the back seat. College boys put in the time to throw keggers so the cute sorority girls come by. Pretty straightforward, although it's not intuitive to a lot of men. We get worked up a lot more about sex than attention. When a high school gir…
/r/askMRP24/10/15 01:16 PM
3

Everyone's shitting on you because you're phrasing your issue really poorly. You want her to seduce you. You want her to work for it. You want her to be so starved for your attention that she texts you all day about how bad she wants your cock in your mouth, and makes sure she's wearing your favorite lingerie when you get home. I can already tell your SMV is nowhere near high enough to get your girl's juices this fired up. My wife pulls out the "sex for attention" move sometimes because I'm a bu…
/r/askMRP24/10/15 12:12 PM
4

Jesus Christ. Look, I get it, the high functioning, over achieving modern woman presents some problems. Usually it's things like this though. She has a good career opportunity, you quit your job and move, now you're financially dependent on her and that's gonna dry up a Vagina pretty fast. Her achievements are driven by an extreme Type A personality that leaves her hamstering so much about her own needs she doesn't give a shit about yours. She treats her life as a collection of consumption-orien…
/r/askMRP24/10/15 11:47 AM
9

Edit: I'm clearly getting immediate pushback on the request. I get it... But in the case of an actual mental health issue what does the RP man do? Buck up and move on? I have shit I want to talk about. Is that wrong? Everyone telling you this is basically giving you shitty advice. Red Pill thought involves a lot of self-reliance, so asking questions involving the professional help of someone else will pretty much ensure you get shat on. A few months ago I think some guy posted on MRP something l…
/r/askMRP20/10/15 11:40 AM
3

I think your wife masturbated, and given yours and her religious background, she feels guilty/shameful/embarrassed about it.
/r/askMRP18/10/15 06:01 AM
3

No. I don't but she benefits from it without raising a finger. So you add a lot of value to her life and she adds... what? to yours? The reason why /u/whinemoreplease is not giving you any benefit of the doubt is that any self-respecting high value man would not have tolerated being in a marriage like this. Ergo, you probably aren't nearly as high value as you think you are. If you were, you'd stop trying to figure out how to modify your wife's incredibly narcissistic and utterly unempathetic be…
/r/askMRP16/10/15 02:30 AM
1

Saying "I won't tolerate..." doesn't sit right with me. I put it in quotes as an example of a defined boundary. I can see how I'm suggesting OP say this, but actually announcing this to your wife is not what I'd recommend either. She freaks out over getting the wrong ground beef, give her a shit eating grin and say you're hitting the gym. Bam, alpha points. Except the OP was asking in the context of NMMNG, which doesn't address A&A, AM, etc. Your suggestion for a newly unplugged man, who has a w…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/15 05:59 PM
6

So we're going to yell at guys for not reading the sidebar material... And then tell them they should disregard what they've read in the sidebar material? OP - since you've actually raised what I think is a valid contradiction between sidebar material and conventional RP advice, let me try and give you some guidance. NMMNG is about boundaries. If it resonated with you, it's probably because your marriage consists of you mostly acting in a way to placate your wife's nagging, and at best she's onl…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/15 10:55 AM
16

In my post history, you can see my 7000 word screed on Dread. A lot of us struggle with Dread because any "Dread techniques" are active Dread. Used car salesman tactics. They work, at least in the short-term, but it's not the same as intrinsic Passive Dread. The idea that you're a high status man and don't have much time for those who aren't adding value to your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/15 08:49 AM
1

Your wife sounds like a shitty person. Sure, you fucked up by tolerating it, but is this woman really the best you can do for yourself and your daughter? Is there any reason to not just start talking to a divorce lawyer? Be careful about things like the debit card, which can be seen as withdrawing community property after separation. Given how lazy and shitty your wife is as a mother, there are probably a lot of things you can do to ensure you end up with the custody and child support arrangemen…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 03:52 PM
16

Over the past three months I've transformed from a true AFC into someone who can hold frame, make his wife dripping wet with a single look, and has female co-workers fawning. Haha. Hahaha. Anyway, I've explained to my wife that I didn't physically fuck her, I just mind fucked her - and I explained some of the routines I ran on her, etc. Dude, you're a fucking tool. Why didn't you go ask Mystery and Style what to do. Their advice clearly worked so well so far. Your probably having problems becaus…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 08:32 AM
3

Am I right in that you have a family and your entire liquid savings is $380?
/r/askMRP09/09/15 03:23 PM
5

You focused a lot on security/safety, but this was really just a failure of leadership. Your wife was being a "good sport" about things but lacked the competence necessary to participate. There was a way to manage that as Captain and you failed to do that. She felt she went beyond what a lot of FO would do, and this only put her in a worse situation. Had she just said "I suck at bike riding and don't really like it anyway ," then you would have told the other women to stick with the hike, or tol…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 08:37 AM
2

This is anathema to conventional Red Pill wisdom, but I go to the gym pretty often with my wife. There are some guidelines you may want to consider. View this as, you're going to the gym, but if she jumps in your car for a ride there, you're not going to kick her out. You go on your own time, do your own workout. If she's dragging her feet, just leave. But if she's ready to go then all you're really doing is giving her a ride to a place that will help her make her look more attractive. When you'…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 08:05 AM
2

Yeah. Too bad because he has a chance to get himself out if this situation with minimal collateral damage. Oh well. He's the one that has to live with this shitty woman and her shitty kids, not us.
/r/askMRP03/09/15 03:52 PM
2

Or its time to Next her , and start over as every other weekend dad and Child Support. I would strongly recommend you make a consultation with a divorce lawyer to get a ballpark estimate on what you'd expect to pay in child support. You never got married (I'm assuming that since you refer to her at an "LTR") You never legally adopted her shitty kids (way to dodge a bullet) She never stopped working You could have a very strong case for primary custody and thus probably not too much child support…
/r/askMRP03/09/15 02:36 AM
2

Heh, thanks, although I didn't invent that phrase myself. You're probably still a cheap motherfucker though.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/15 02:17 AM
20

She found out and when I went to leave her, she begged me to stay. After my wife passed away, I got sole guardianship of him and have raised him in my home since he came home from the hospital. He is 13 now and I consider him to be my son. She tried to tell me that his birth mom needed to step up and raise him instead of us. She got angry because birth mom does not pay her court-ordered child support (this angers me too, but if she won't work, they can't collect). They split up shortly after com…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/15 04:09 AM
8

You can probably get your wife to admit some of her own faults in your trash fire of a marriage, but what's the point? She's a narcissistic bitch who already had one foot out the door. Her hamster has been running for months, if not years, about how trapped she is in your boring and vanilla suburban marriage, and probably has some bizarre romanticized vision of being a single mother and becoming Erin Brockovich or something. She's a narcissist because she clearly can't admit that she's exiting f…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/15 07:21 AM
6

Johnny, Yeah, it's you. Stop being an idiot and delete this post. And delete your ideas that this is something that you can shelter from your wife. Any lawyer worth his salt will ring you around the neck and require you disclose it in the event of divorce. Because despite your desire to not leave a paper trail, you probably already have. And you definitely will if you try and invest in anything. And if your wife even sniffs that during divorce, you'll be fucked. Because it will be trivially easy…
/r/askMRP30/08/15 10:48 AM
2

From your OP: I suspect, when she feels threatened she hunkers down and hopes for the best. I have noted this behaviour with her before and I see it very clearly in her parents. Their attitude is to put your head in the sand, pray and hope for the best. They are not proactive people. Your changes have caused your wife's hamster to get lost in The Hamster Maze, and it looks like her typical reaction when that happens is to freeze and do nothing. So then: 2 days later I get the email about her wan…
/r/askMRP28/08/15 11:28 PM
1

SPECIALIZATION - Not going to cover this one as deep, as it usually requires a ton of school or a lot of alone time (coders, for example). Usually 12-15 years of training. Think of brain surgeons, super specialized engineers, business consultants for narrow fields, investment banking (blend of sales and specialization). You usually have to get into this fairly early in life. The other two can be done at any point. Just want to point out that it's a lot easier to become "very good" at two things,…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/15 12:11 AM
4

Here is what I think is REALLY happening: you are going too fast, and most of your posts are focused on changing her in one month. A lot of the changes you have made have been all talk talk talk, or even worse, email. Many have warned you against both. This only makes women nervous, as it is indistinguishable from a Victim Puke (NMMNG). You do not have frame yet to do all this, and I'm not sure if you can regularly pass shit tests. If so, yes, indeed, you are hurting your marriage and that is wh…
/r/askMRP23/08/15 01:22 AM
2

I've tried it all. Ranting like a crazy women, the silent treatment, working the map, threatening to cheat, talking rationally, etc. He just does nothing. Of course, now I know you can't negotiate desire or force someone to seek counseling for depression. My suggestion would be to essentially list, as overtly but as succinctly as possible, all your problems. Tell him you're leaving the house for a month. If there's any prayer of this marriage being salvaged, he needs to fix the problems. Then re…
/r/askMRP19/08/15 01:04 AM
2

I developed a theory based on another female poster to MRP, that the inverse of Dread Game for males was essentially a direct ultimatum. Here's the comment thread where I proposed it. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/38dvba/a_not_so_typical_situation/cruonis Curious to see if you find this applicable to your own situation.
/r/askMRP18/08/15 09:25 PM
1

RE#2: She has and it has been contention. I have said I have been less attracted since she let herself go. However, she has noticed my physical turnaround however, she cannot get past "Oh shit, his SMV is going up, i need to step up my SMV!!!!" the anxiety jumps to: im worthless, how did i get a stud?, why bother..." fucking hamster! These are typical feelings of self-sabotage that people with anxiety have. Typical "fight or flight" response. Unfortunately, "flight" is being triggered. Her thera…
/r/askMRP18/08/15 09:17 PM
1

Has she been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? Has she or is she getting treatment for it?
/r/askMRP18/08/15 06:13 PM
1

My biggest question is, as i work through the reading materials and apply them to my life, how do you deal with a wife that has an anxiety disorder? I know all to well when the hamster is running in circles, but how do you deal with that when the hamster cannot exit the maze or have a breakdown when it gets bad? I am assuming by this, you mean she has a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder from a medical professional. This means she has an illness, and it is imperative that she does what she ne…
/r/askMRP18/08/15 01:51 AM
1

My bad -- I just edited my comment right after I posted, and made some suggestions. Here's a screenshot of how the posting text box looks for r/relationships, btw: http://imgur.com/IPQ7tbE Seems like that would be a good place to post an abridged version of your guidelines? Also, /r/redpillwomen has a little banner graphic right at the top that says: "Want advice? Please be sure to Answer These Questions. Know the rules." To me, something like this is more prominent than a sidebar link.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/15 10:06 AM
2

This may be an overly charitable interpretation for him, but I read /u/ThatOtherMarriedGuy's comment as: "You guys are proponents of a philosophy that often makes a marriage seem worse before it gets better. And we're probably only here because we're already in a bad marriage. So as things go from bad to worse, can you help us figure out whether our implementation of Red Pill philosophy is effective, or if we're actually fucking things up?" Then /u/whinemoreplease says, "We can't help you execut…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/15 09:49 AM
19

And once you realize this, once you've processed it a bit, you will become downright fucking enraged. Because nobody clued you the fuck in. Your wife kept shooting you down for sex, claiming that she needed "more romance" to "get in the mood." Expensive dinners, weekend getaways, a painstaking roses and champagne setup in the bedroom. Still no sex. What gives? Did she not actually want those dinners and trips and roses? Was this some sort of elaborate hoax to get you to spend a lot of money on t…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/15 08:39 AM
18

Don't know if I would've described myself as a "career beta," but I did not have anything remotely close to an "alpha" period in my life until after my first marriage ended. Here are some broad observations: "Career betas," in my observation, often have codependent personality traits. They put way too much value in seeking the approval and appreciation of others. This is usually due to some bad experiences in their formative years that fucked up their brain wiring. The basis of "WISNIFG" is exac…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/15 08:39 AM
1

is somewhat of a social pariah Out of curiosity -- elaborate on this?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/15 10:42 PM
3

Well, you're the only mod to comment here, so I guess I'll reply to you. I think it is to early to decide if askmrp helps or fragments. They don't even have posting guidelines yet. Exactly. There are no guidelines at all. You guys just created a subreddit, yelled at all the noobs to go there. So you chased away some "good" noobs (the A2 posts) and yet we still have victim pukes on the main MRP subreddit. Ask MRP is an extension of MRP not competition. Why was the best way to extend to create a w…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/15 07:13 AM
3

Look, I think there's sort of a problem here. The 2 week warriors are still cluttering up MRP with their victim pukes, and yet also getting a ton of participation from the MRP community. Meanwhile, the guys that know about AskMRP are probably those who have done at least some preliminary work and have some sort of grasp, albeit potentially misguided, on unplugging. And now they're getting way less participation on their questions because it's on a completely different subreddit that isn't even l…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/15 06:52 PM
2

Why isn't this in /r/AskMRP?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/15 05:42 PM
1

I think for now the prime focus after ensuring my own value is airtight is assessing if when she's taking the initiative to lead, is she doing it because she's genuinely expressing something at her core, or is she doing it begrudgingly because she thinks I'm weaksauce. I think I can answer that right now. Thanks for sharing more details. It helps me put together a profile of your wife. She is fundamentally attracted to competence. She's attracted to it because she views herself as a very compete…
/r/askMRP14/08/15 06:31 AM
1

She's not a ball buster by any means and is actually quite warm, affectionate and sexual, but she regards herself as my equal measure for measure and that's not the kind of leverage that facilitates a happy stable union. Well, everything I'm seeing her indicates she is, uh, your equal. She's physically attractive. She has probably achieved more of the typical benchmarks of that our society considers "successful" (e.g. went to a selective/prestigious college) than you. She's professionally respon…
/r/askMRP14/08/15 12:07 AM
1

Now, this will not work out perfectly ideal. You will have several pitfalls. As is typical of unplugging guys, you'll withdraw way too soon. It'll seem too abrupt, and too artificial, and your wife will be pissed, and your frame will not be strong enough to handle it. Go slow. I would recommend every month, add one new weekly or monthly activity to your schedule, and about 1/3 to 1/2 should involve something with your kid. So it's not until a full six months that your week is mostly fulled up. I…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 11:44 PM
1

MMSLP advises you should initiate sex all the time, because what do you have to lose, etc. Ideally, your sex life provides a nice barometer for your changes. You get your shit together, your hit the gym, your wife responds to these positive changes. You get rejected 80% of the time, then 70%, then 60%... Some guys who swallowed the pill, their wives were attracted to them. Their wife's "type" is, say, tall dark-haired guys. 10 years later, her husband is now fat, lazy, professionally unmotivated…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 11:44 PM
1

I suspect this is something that is a borderline between "household good" and "discretionary consumption." Like some sort of expensive scented candle for the bathroom. Yeah, it's "for the bathroom" and "everyone" benefits from a nicer smelling bathroom. But really, she just wants the bathroom to smell like Calm Freshwater Breeze when she poops, and the OP doesn't really care for that. If he was going to exceed the "household goods" budget by $10, then he'd much rather buy something with way more…
/r/askMRP12/08/15 10:23 PM
1

Alimony is only ever paid when the wife can materially claim that she made professional sacrifices for her husband's benefit. It is supposed to be proportionate to that sacrifice. If your wife was never a SAHM, she will probably not get any Alimony. If she was only a SAHM for a few years (ie. Quit when you had kids and the kids were young), your Alimony payments will be very limited. Child support is proportionate to the income disparity and custody. Despite what TRP loves telling people, the Am…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 03:30 PM
2

Haha. Love this. Also love the OP's whoosh response.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/15 09:46 PM
5

The takeaway is simple: /u/brcash is being a total fucking idiot with his approach. The only thing he's materially changed is he started initiating sex more and started acting less empathetic. No sustained and deliberate increase in SMV. If you think your wife demands a disproportionate amount of your attention versus your sex life, the right way to do it is to gradually cultivate professional, physical, and social changes to make yourself less available. Sprinting out of the house every time yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/15 09:39 PM
5

Look, your victim puke is way too ambiguous to get actionable advice. You're just gonna have a bunch of guys saying "you do you, and your wife can go fuck herself." They will also yell at you for not indicating whether you've read the sidebar material, and will interrogate you with harsh questions like "do you even lift, bro?" They aren't wrong. The only details you gave are that your kids are teenagers, you're undergoing a career change that may involve some loss of income, and you and your wif…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/15 09:43 AM
2

I basically just told her I've learned a lot of things and it's all to make me a better man and that she will be a beneficiary of that. She agrees but is still obviously a little taken by surprise. So when my kids were born, I met with a financial manager and reviewed things like retirement goals, life insurance, etc. The thing that struck me is that anyone in good health in their 30s or 40s basically needs to plan on living until, like, 95 years old. Which means, when you're in your 30s and 40s…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/15 01:43 AM
4

As you continue to lean down and start looking good naked, start taking showers with her. Make it a routine. Sweat hard at the gym, shower with the wife at home. Get in the habit of scrubbing her down and vice versa. Think about it as two primal animals "grooming" each other, the way tigers lick their mates. She may even have hygiene things she wants you to do, or wants to do for you. Then bring in a razor and tell her you want to have a little fun. Shave off the muffin. Then give her some godda…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/15 08:00 AM
6

I hope the analogy behind that little parable is clear. You want to spend time with your wife, but in this case, spending time with her was conditional on an activity you didn't particularly want to participate in. This is where your wife's head was at. She wanted companionship with you. She did not want sex with you. You made it clear she doesn't get one without the other. So she tried to talk herself into having sex, at least then maybe you'd have some pillow talk and cuddle or some shit. So b…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 01:13 AM
7

You've been out of town for work for a few days for a conference. The conference was boring. Your coworkers traveled with are boring at best, boorish at worst. Your trip back home is a pain in the ass, full of flight delays and getting stuck in between two obese hamplanets. You You finally land, get your luggage, and go to the curb and wait for your wife to pick you up. It's a Friday evening, and you're looking forward to seeing her. You already have a relaxing evening in mind. You'll go to your…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 12:33 AM
1

Why not put yourself through a small monk mode period? Go ascetic for a week. No "pleasurable consumption for a week." whether that Is consuming sex, food, TV, etc. Once the sun is down, you can only do constructive things. If it doesn't involve creation (ie. Making something) or improvement then don't do it. It's just a week. A lot of guys put too much stock in their progress in frequency of sex. Which is only natural, but if that's the case take sex out of the equation. It may accelerate your …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/15 09:31 AM
4

It sounds like your SIL didn't branch swing to a Chad, but a slimy beta who could pass all the Comfort Tests that her "prime alpha" husband was failing. Chad Thundercock is great at spinning plates, but any woman married to him would cheat on him too. On a long enough timeline with no Comfort, it'll eventually be too tempting for a woman to fall into the arms of one of her adoring beta orbiters. "He does not want to go to church, swears more, drinks more, is depressed and overwhelmed" The only r…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/15 09:22 AM
2

And her fear is indicative of a deeper issue: at the same time she's casting you in a "all you want me for is sex" light she's starting to do the same thing with your son. My 11 year old boy still hates girls. The idea of him doing something inappropriate would never occur to him. Until puberty, I wouldn't worry about it. I WOULD worry about your wife casting your son into the role of a sexual aggressor without a shred of evidence to support it. THAT'S why it's a shit test, not a comfort test. M…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/15 03:38 AM
17

Oof. Hope that victim puke purged some poison from your system. So, here's what I think is your problem. I feel like TRP and this sub have helped me get out of a major, major rut but I don't know the nuances of married shit tests. I read the subs and Heartiste and others' opinions on shit tests versus comfort tests versus just plain insanity and I don't know what's what or what to fight for any more. Look, fundamentally you're going to constantly get Shit Tested until you actually become a high …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/15 03:16 AM
1

Water department was not going to budge on this , after several phone calls. Reality is we would have no water if we didn't act. So what happened? I assume you paid the water bill? Did the landlord reimburse you? Was she the one that had to deal with getting in contact with him and getting the reimbursement? We did take it back to get some other things fixed , they didn't fix them. What were the other problems? Did she buy a certified pre-owned car from a dealership? Were the problems with that …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/15 11:19 PM
2

She got the car , had to get the inspection within 7 days ,so we head over to the same place that I went on Saturday ( same mechanic too)and she loses her shit when the guy fails her car for a burned out parking light , I took over then too.. paid the guy 5 bucks to put a new light in , and got a passing sticker.. she was still irate.. calling the dealer and all that.. over a simple burned out light. I didn't want to repeat that scene again I'm getting the idea your SO likes being... indignant. …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/15 01:58 AM
1

I think this is more about preventing shame than negotiating desire though. You're essentially telling your wife, "you can reject me, and however I feel is my responsibility and not yours. But you don't get to shame me about how I feel, especially if you don't like how those feelings may involve negative consequences for you." OPs issue doesn't seem to be desire, but the whole guilt trip she dropped on him afterwards. It was a bullshit conversation. His options for ending it are to either say so…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/15 12:04 AM
3

I commented on some thoughts on the "vision" ideas presented by /u/marxistbacon, but also wanted to directly address the OPs conflict... She announced that since all of my close friends live nearby (mostly true) and her friends are scattered all over the country (true), that we needed to have a separate category for her vacations to go see her friends. At the very least, she needs to start entering her financial transactions in YNAB. I've been considering moving all of our money out of our joint…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/15 08:53 PM
2

And your writing strongly suggests that you're still deeply invested in her mood and her emotional reaction. Filled with descriptions of her heavy tone, that she wasn't in a good mood when you had the second talk, and so on. So you come here looking for confirmation that you did OK, because the fact that she's upset still signifies to you that you fucked up and did something wrong. Perhaps I'm being too charitable to the OP (and I would clearly have a bias in doing so, given the thousands of wor…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/15 08:50 PM
2

Your post was mostly an incomprehensible stream of consciousness. Thankfully, you summarized it as: The gist of it is 'man she's cunty lately' I'm not even concerned about the sex so much, I've been exhausted myself. Just a lot more shit testie than normal. I would have to have to churn up a main event every few months to rekindle things... I tried reading through your comment history to get more context on your life and your marriage. I had to go back through like SIX pages before I found this:…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 10:36 PM
2

Well, this is why they were examples. I wasn't advising the OP to say all of this, all at once. He will probably have several Shitty Comfort Tests in his future. This was intended to be responses he can customize and deploy at his desire, if at all. "I love you Princess, I got this," may have worked with your wife. She may not have not had the stupidly idealized version of love revolving around NEED. But a lot of women do. Such as OPs wife. Early when I was dating my wife, she got me a gift that…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 02:16 AM
2

A little philosophy I have: The best way to replace consumptive behavior is productive behavior. This problem with smartphones et al is that it makes it so goddamn easy to consume. Consumptive habits are like junk food. You mentioned you had a very disciplined meal plan with your family. Let's say you went out of town for the week. Would your wife cook and prepare meals to a similar extent? I think they would. I think they would internalize that discipline, that even though it's easier to consum…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 01:09 AM
18

There are countless movies where the protagonist main character has some dick (or bitch) boss who has insanely exacting expectations. But it's not the expectations that are so frustrating. It's the inconsistency. The main character bends over backwards to make everything perfect, and the boss still rolls in and finds some deficiency that's fallen short of perfection. It's incredibly frustrating to the protagonist, and usually the movie involves them breaking down at some point and crying, "what …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 12:44 AM
1

My armchair psychologist diagnosis is his wife has some sort of general anxiety disorder. It sounds like her family is fucked up. Chances are she rejects their mental models but never really learned anything close to healthy emotional regulation, because who would she learn it from? But I see this is very fixable. This was a "frameless" marriage. OP can easily construct a frame she'll be more than happy to accept, once he adds a little upholstery to smooth out its tough edges. OPs wife is far fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/15 07:54 AM
62

Most of the guys here are going to deconstruct this interaction in isolation, and laud you for communicating OI in the face of your wife's threats. I was about to do the same. Then I read through your post and comment history. These observations stand out. My question: how do I slow this down? This is moving to fast and I am not equipped to handle this currently at the pace it has moved. I'm reading as much as I can and read Every post on here, but it has not fully sunk in. What can I do to slow…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/15 01:17 AM
7

If I had failed, all the months would have meant nothing. This is not true. A setback? Sure, you may not get a BJ that night. But it's not like the divorce papers would have come back out that next day either. I'm pointing this out not so much for you, but other guys trying to unplug that read this. It's really hard to pass every single Shit Test. Inevitably, you will fail some. You do have to pass a lot more than you fail. But any single failure will not destroy months of progress. I like to th…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/15 02:02 AM
2

Hey man - really happy to see this. Just keep doing you, man. One step a time. Continue to move towards a "delegation of duties" model for basic household work. Your wife cleans, you did errands outside the house. Nobody's stepping on each other's toes, everyone is just doing what they're good at. Re: church, I'd start to slowly transition that to some other family bonding time. Take your kids to a park and go for a hike that sort of thing. You don't need to revel in the lord's creation at a chu…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 08:02 AM
20

OP already fucked it up. His wife is just progressing through textbook Rollo phases: https://rationalmale.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/smv-timeline1.jpg OP cheated two years ago, but his wife didn't want to be a single mother with a 2 year old kid. It was worth keeping OP around for an extra babysitter and paycheck. If the cost was some duty sex every once in awhile, so be it. But now the kid is 4, he'll have supervision in kindergarten/preschool. Plus she already makes (a little) more money than…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/15 02:26 AM
22

Sigh. Think that detail might have been worth mentioning in your OP, champ?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 09:13 PM
6

So I started lifting and dreading, taking her out more so that I could flirt with waitresses in front of her. It sounds like you're using too much "Active Dread," and not really focusing on increasing your SMV which results in natural "Passive Dread." I wrote about this here, and how "Active Dread" can backfire very easily: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/374wln/what_we_talk_about_when_we_talk_about_dread_13/crjrgcp (I'd suggest you read the whole thing, but you can read just th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 09:04 PM
2

But let's take another Grand Plan I have, which is to take over our finances. To be honest, I'd recommend you start with this, before the diet/health stuff. Only because it's logistically easier to set up and as the primary breadwinner, you have a lot more inherent authority over this anyway. If I close that account and start funneling my money into a separate account and make her essentially ask me for money to pay for anything other than the pills, she's going to have a conniption and accuse m…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 08:53 PM
1

Her: Hissy fit about me being condescending and trying to teach her a lesson, treating her like a child, etc. Yeah, I can see how this is frustrating. Your wife has poor executive function, but is defensive about it. Generally one of the ways you teach kids executive function by not giving them a soft landing when they fuck up. They break the neighbor's window, they have to pay for it from their allowance. You could just pay for it for them, but you're not going to. I believe this parenting stra…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 08:28 PM
3

Look, you aren't actually being a dictator. You're just approaching things in a way that makes it easy to label you a dictator, when it's completely unnecessary. You solve this by dropping the "paradigm shift" discussions. Stop talking, start doing. And start doing in the areas you can control. Start doing in the areas where you're already setting a good example. Start doing to set that good example in the first place. And start doing in only one area at a time. If you do this, you won't get ema…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 04:55 AM
4

Hey buddy. Glad to you see you're mostly receptive to my thoughts. Gonna consolidate all my thoughts into this chain of comments. I guess I may not fully understand what you think I am doing wrong. Slow your roll, man. That's what I think you're doing wrong. So to be fair, you're not really doing a lot wrong. It's just how you've explicitly framed everything with your wife as this dramatic "paradigm shift," and you seem to be carrying yourself with an attitude that says she either falls in line,…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 04:55 AM
5

The second, "No subject," said she didn't think she continue the relationship unless our communication improved, and that she lashed out at me because she felt like a dog forced into a corner. Anyway, I didn't write all the above just to enrage you again. Well, I sort of did, because the only way your marriage survives is you essentially process and accept that this is hand you've been dealt. Anger will be part of that process. But you can't use MRP as a backdoor anger outlet. You can't think: "…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/15 09:28 PM
7

Now let's move on to another aspect in your marriage, that will continue to be the elephant in the room until you finally realize how you can resolve it... A few months after that, I got involved in... something. Exchanging sexually explicit emails back and forth with another woman. We never met in person and had no plans to do so, but it was cheating on some level. My wife discovered some of the emails and we were at the brink of divorce. OK, so you starting scrolling through Craigslist or Tind…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/15 09:28 PM
15

Let me propose two possible scenarios for the future of your marriage. You reach a healthy Captain/FO dynamic with your wife (even if you don't explicitly call it that), and your wife is very affectionate, appreciative, and respectful towards you. You engage continuing series of escalating conflicts with your wife, run to MRP each time so you can be told "way to put that bitch in her place, man!", and then end up talking to a lawyer when you finally come home one day to see divorce papers. Becau…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/15 08:18 PM
1

Question for OP - are you still struggling financially? In an earlier post to MRP you said your business was not going well.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/15 03:45 PM
21

One of my favorite comments by /u/strategos_autokrator is this: Leadership requires work. From this work comes authority. You will easily pass Shit Tests if you basically demonstrate that you have other shit to do besides take your daughter to go potty every five minutes. These could be but not limited to: Identify home improvements that you've been neglecting. Stop neglecting them. Get your hands dirty. Your wife will Shit Test you about some mundane task you're not doing instead. Whatever, you…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/15 10:28 AM
25

I know there's a better way to deal with that situation though... Welcome to the Red Pill dude, but I'd suggest you take a step back here and try and get a broader perspective here. There's a clear pattern here: Any remote inconvenience your wife feels, you're her punching bag. She either dumps the responsibility on you, or if she has to do it herself, she dumps the blame on you for being in a situation where she has to do it herself. Going anywhere with her is a fucking shit show because I appa…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/15 10:28 AM
1

I'm no Morpheus, but I've had guys here PM more specific details about their issues and I'm always happy to reply. Everyone is right that there will never really be a guru who gives you the external validation you're doing things right. But I may be able to download a couple disks of Kung fu in your head. "Whoa."
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/15 10:44 AM
7

She said it was not an ultimatum but that she couldn't keep living in dire financial straits and that I could stay and continue my career if I wanted. We're you in dire financial straights? And who took on the burden of those finances? Who paid the bills, tried to budget, opened all the mail from credit cards? If it was your wife, then this was a gross failure to lead on your part. You can take a low paying job as long as you're disciplined enough to make sure the money you do make provides for …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/15 10:38 AM
8

I like the idea of keeping a journal. I often do this with any serious life objective I have in general. It's great for filtering thoughts, developing plans, and tracking progress of objectives. But the MRP Subreddit isn't LiveJournal. Additionally, when I've tried to keep a "public" journal, even anonymously, I just end up writing different things. I'm not nearly as deep with any introspection. I wonder what an "audience" would think. Or I get too focused on public feedback more than progressin…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/15 09:24 PM
0

Not a medical expert at all, but this is my read on the situation. When she found the news out that she was about 5 weeks pregnant I was happy, but it was unfortunate that we didn’t get to time it the way we wanted it. So she had an irregular period. She went to the doctor. Said you guys were planning on having another baby in the medium term future. While she agreed on this medium term timeline, she may have secretly wanted to have one earlier. Maybe she's worried about her fertility. Maybe she…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/15 07:03 PM
1

Calling troll here. No dude would be using this phrasing but this out of control of his marriage. Yeah, I get the (perceived) hypocrisy. TRP bitches about women who divorce rape their husbands but then bitches about women who make any attempt to be career oriented.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/15 08:43 AM
13

Your wife isn't attracted to you sexually. Your wife cares enough about your marriage the she's willing to be a receptacle for your penis as desired. You mentioned you let yourself go physically. The basic advice here is get your body in order. Shed excess fat and hit the weights. If your wife is still starfishing sex when you're are 10-15% body fat, then you may have deeper issues. But otherwise, this should kill two birds with one stone. You'll increase your SMV and that should generate enough…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/15 08:25 AM
6

If everything wrote in your 6th and 7th paragraphs are true, then why would you doubt yourself? As a matter of personal taste, your wife sounds completely unbearable to me. I've met a lot of these "manic pixie dream girls," who all basically demonstrate the pinnacle of solipsism. Everything is about "living for today" and "we only have one life on this planet." It's basically a completely hedonistic mindset. The idea of making even the slightlest sacrifice for someone else is completely foreign …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/15 02:49 PM
1

What are her parent's relationship like? What's her relationship with her dad like? Some women grow up in a household where their dad is "naturally Red Pill" and their mother's say things like, "your father works hard so don't you dare ever give him any shit." Others grow up in a household where their dad is a supplicating beta bitch who takes an endless stream of shit from his shrill harpy wife. And their mother just badmouths her father in private too, usually as part of making gross generaliz…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/15 05:00 PM
5

Try fogging next time. My wife does this at things like concerts and ballgames. She gets anxious we'll be stuck for hours in whatever parking lot. I usually just say something like, "look, the time to beat parking lot traffic was 30 minutes ago. Shoving past people is just going to cause more problems and not really get us home any earlier. Let's just get outside and see how bad it is. We'll call your parents/the babysitters as soon as we can estimate how bad the traffic is. Let's just enjoy the…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/15 06:43 AM
3

Honest question, where do you get all of this? Its exactly spot on. One of the upsides to getting older is that you realize you've seen all this shit before. It's not just AWALT. It's really APALT. When it comes to macro life decisions, there are only so many mental models people have. Also, I personally had some overlap with some of your mental models. Same self-destructive/half-cocked tendencies that took a lot of introspection and some individual therapy to sort out. Plus, you've been on MRP …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/15 11:35 PM
3

Not going to lie, that is the most discouraging thing I've read on this site. No, the more discouraging thing you've read on this site is this: I bet you couldn't get divorced now even if you tried. I'm not saying that to be a dick. But seriously, just try and picture you trying to have that conversation with your wife right now. Even if you tried to be as magnanimous as possible, and said some "look, I made too many mistakes, I hurt everyone too much, and it's better this way" stuff, your wife …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/15 06:17 PM
6

Cheating increases Dread without a corresponding increase in SMV. I believe this is the root of your problem. Your previous posts have indicated you're still struggling accomplishing a lot of goals in your life outside of your marriage. Besides some enhanced muscle definition from going to the gym more often, and I'm sure you bought a few new articles of clothing, but are you a materially better man than you were a year ago? Or to ask this another way: Have you objectively increased your value s…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/15 01:01 AM
1

Oh man. I actually don't think there's a Chad. I think your wife is just a lazy person. She stays late at work because it's a handy excuse to avoid responsibility for any other area of her life. You only fed into this narrative because it looks like your employment prospects were shitty before you got this shitty job. She got to hamster that she was the "breadwinner" so things like picking up the kids or dinner or anything else requiring effort was something she could just unload on you. Well, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/15 10:57 AM
3

Kill two birds with one stone here. I had this problem too. "Check the top cupboard." It's a directive, not a question. Then if they say, "it's not there," you just say, "well that's where I saw it last." People coming to you with a problem often just want an answer. Not even the right answer. Just something that gives them an indication on what to do next. It is a goddamn liberating, in a modern society of infinite choices, to have someone give you explicit instructions on what to do next. Unfo…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/15 10:24 AM
1

Mix in some fogging. Just like your Sriracha, a little empathy can go a long way. "It was a joke. I do recognize it probably came off as more hurtful than teasing. But if you're expecting me to buy into the idea that this joke is some pattern of 'always insulting you,' I think we both know that's false. Is there a reason you're so intent on doing that?" The hamster will run and she'll probably victim puke more about just feeling like you don't take her seriously. Give her some reassuring words t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/15 09:07 PM
5

Dude - OP and his wife are both eligible to collect Social Security, or soon will be. She's past the "Eat Pray Love" stage. A Main Event happens when a woman simultaneously acknowledges her insecurities, and realizes that the only one responsible for mitigating those insecurities is herself. They all follow the same pattern. The wife projects a bunch of shitty behavior on her husband. Then she accuses her husband of being "unsympathetic" to her laundry list of insecurities. Then there's a break.…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/15 10:54 AM
3

Glad you found some food for thought in my comments. Based on this most recent FR, I'll go ahead and give you a few additional observations on my end... You mentioned keeping a journal and basically doing things like logging your wife's texts vs your texts while you were out of the country. I think you should consider that while this may have given you some interesting objective data, it also made you, well, resentful as hell. You were essentially quantifying just how much less of a shit your wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/15 10:54 AM
11

For fuck's sake. Get the fuck off Reddit and talk to a lawyer so you don't end up responsible for her law school debt.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/15 11:51 PM
3

Dude - clearly OPs wife is being a Mommy Martyr. She has realized she has become basically unbearable and she'd be a lot less anal about her husband's parenting - and her own! - if she had other shit going on in her life. Also there have been a lot of a FR on MRP that literally have the wife coming to this exact conclusion. "Sorry about being a bitch about parenting, I think it's because the only thing I have in my life now is parenting, please lead us in a marriage where we can have a life besi…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/15 10:06 AM
6

Your problem is your wife is getting all her beta needs met by her family. So your job is irrelevant to her. A lot of unplugged betas recall clinging to their jobs as the only card they could play to "win" arguments with their wife. "I want to go to the gym and see a friend" leads to wife hamstering. But "I have to work late" gets the wife off your back. Now, in your case, you don't even have that card to play. "We can't go because I may lose my job and that will cut off your sweet, sweet flow o…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/15 09:48 AM
11

The issue is not that I'm "butthurt" about it, just massively confused (is WTF an emotion?). Yeah, no shit. You've been gaslit by your wife with NPD for this whole relationship. It occurred to me that you may not know what I mean by "gaslighting," so here ya go. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting Sound familiar? You keep talking about how you have this warped mental model. Wait, my wife is actually treating me shitty? When she acts like an unrepentant bitch, like, all the time, I don't ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/15 10:16 AM
29

Whatever the hell this was, I failed it. You will continue to feel this way as long as you're a thirsty motherfucker who can only evaluate any progress in the context of his wife's attraction to him. Look. This is going to be the last fucking time I comment on one of your threads. You need to develop and follow a MAP, and be able to intrinsically evaluate how well you're measuring up to it. The fact that you are unable to do this is a huge barrier to anything you want to accomplish. You seem ins…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/15 01:04 AM
8

"I don't mean to be rude, but I need you to stop talking until we are off of this plane. I got a plan, and I'll work it out. But I can do nothing while we are on this plane." If I recall from your previous posts, you seem to have a tendency to get frustrated with some sort of external situation, and then lose your cool with anyone in an immediate vicinity. You've mentioned getting frustrated with work dysfunction and then being in a shitty mood, and how recently you've kept your cool and had a m…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/15 02:58 AM
5

I just threw out a few different ideas based on the limited context. Shit on the wall, see what sticks, etc. Looks like this may have. Maybe that is what is going on. My OI plus it ends with me getting off, she just misreads that so she doesn't even notice there's a problem. Now that you mention it she's even been hinting that she's amazing in bed and fishing for compliments. If this the case, maybe try and giving her more open-ended orders. I do this with my wife a lot. Most recently I handcuff…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 10:40 AM
1

Hamsterese: You are weak and ineffectual wearing the dressings of a stronger man and I need to make sure you know that I think that. Also you failed the test. This is 99% of OPs problem. His wife's opinion of his SMV is not aligned with his. In the OP case, it probably stems from "empty intellect." OP considers himself smart and knowledgeable about many things. But if OP does not apply his intellect in the household (e.g. Knows clover is growing instead of grass because of low nitrogen in the so…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 09:28 AM
18

Hmm. I think there's something to the fact that she insisted you fuck her... Doggy style. She acted dominant but wanted you to fuck her in an essentially submissive position. Also a little atypical that she's insisting on you essentially getting your nuts off as quickly as possible. Is she able to get stimulated at all if you just pound her? If you really want to send a message, just pull out and tell her you're going to watch porn and Jack off. If you wanted to empty your balls in a few minutes…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/15 09:06 AM
3

At dinner I plan to initiate my first do over. When I proposed it was the sappiest, most BP "will you make me the happiest man of earth" bullshit I could think of. Everytime I remember it I cringe. Honestly I'm not 100% on what I'll say yet but it WILL be different than last time. I don't understand this. If you had spent your whole life squelching some burning desire to say some Red Pill-esque words regarding commitment/marriage, then I could see why you'd want to do something like thus. But yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 10:26 PM
8

Dude, your problem is you're viewing everything in this lens based on how often your wife fucks you. Stop being so goddamn thirsty man. Your response was good. But you've been a blue pill beta loser that physical dominance is probably going to seem jarring and uncharacteristic to her. The idea that you're having your way with her, that she's submitting to you out of sheer pleasure and gina tingles, is something she is too afraid to comprehend. It's much more comfortable when she's controlling th…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/15 01:55 AM
13

I can speak exactly to this. I've tried to go the self-employed route in both my marriages. One of them didn't survive. However, it actually had very little to do with income. I can speak to my specific situation if you want, but here are some guidelines you'll probably find helpful: Above all, your wife wants to feel like you have a plan. If she's as high quality as you indicate, she'll trust her Captain to sail through the stormy seas if he thinks there's some buried treasure on the other side…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/15 12:14 PM
2

I actually thought so too. But the author has a personal blog and some of his older posts are so goddamn cringe-worthy. It looks like he cribbed a lot of the scarymommy article from an older blog post he wrote, which is actually even more Blue Pill beta bullshit: http://www.byclintedwards.com/2014/01/sex-marrage-and-silent-treatment.html Talk about cringe-worthy. I mean, this guy is literally doing everything wrong in his shitty sexless Blue Pill marriage. And in that moment, as I look at her hu…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/15 09:04 AM
7

Why exactly do you think it's worth salvaging a marriage to a depressed alcoholic lesbian who has already cheated on you? Given your work schedules, you essentially have a split custody arrangement with your son anyway. Co-owning a business with your wife is a hairy situation, but this is where you should be investing your time. It's very possibly to have a divorce outcome where you go 50/50 on custody and no child support is involved because the same entity is providing the same income to you. …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 03:57 PM
9

I think you took a wrong turn. The DeadBedrooms sub is over there. Seriously, what is this shit? No fucking context and clearly no grasp of Red Pill. Move into a hotel? Why would your wife care? Her beta husband has finally left her alone and now she can start the process of owning your house in entirety. Back up the train, dude. Do the sidebar reading. Lurk, lift, learn. You're not going to flip the switch on a decade of beta marriage over night.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 11:46 AM
2

I don't think this was a victim puke. You basically just failed a Comfort Test she wasn't even giving you. In the short term, this is irrelevant. She'll get over it. I'm sure you're tempted, if you haven't already, to seek her out and say a bunch of Blue Pill shit because you feel bad she feels bad. Well, don't do that. Yeah, she hamstered your words as "if we broke up, eh, whatevs yo." Nothing you can do about it now. As far as talking, just avoid certain topics when you're drunk. It's not the …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 11:39 AM
15

EDIT: Thanks for the gold! So the high school head cheerleader decides to date a cute boy in her Honors English class. Sure, he's a little nerdy compared to the Chad Thundercock jocks she's used to dating, but all her friends still think "he's a cutie," and he's smart and funny and has lots of friends. He fits in easily with her social circle, and she's happy. So one day she swings by his house to hang out, except he has some friends over. Because while English is the only advanced class our hea…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 10:08 AM
2

Assuming you agree, do I also withdraw my availability due to being denied, or do I give this a pass and act like nothing happened due to the illness? Eh. If you're inclination is that she wasn't actually sick in the medical sense of the term, you could be right. It's possible she's not actually sick, just "feeling" sick to the point of being psychosomatic. Hang around your kids when they're snotting all over the place, or whining about sore throats, and you'll start to feel a sore throat, or ju…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 12:31 AM
2

Two fridays ago, my wife was OTR but I had scheduled a "date night" to reward her for a couple nights of sex. This may just be how you phrased this, but you're not trying to "condition" your wife so directly. It's not supposed to go, "give me sex and affection during the week, and you get dinners and movie nights on the weekend." Sex should be a constant, because it should be something mutually desired. You mentioned you both used to like playing darts. Well, if she suggests a game of darts to y…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/15 12:31 AM
7

If you want to go particularly Dark Triad on this... Tell her you have been coming around to the idea of a third child, but this is not how you want to bring him into the world. Having a child under these circumstances is doing so under a cloud of deception and darkness. You want a third child, but now is not the time. In 6-12 months, you'll both be more prepared because (insert bullshit professional reason here). If she's resistant, frame it this way: she can have two kids and a third later as …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/15 11:19 AM
12

Dude, get the fuck off Reddit and talk to a lawyer. Fuck this mediated divorce shit. Retain your own attorney. Give him all the relevant information about your marriage and your assets, including this information. Depending on your state, whether you have kids, etc, evidence of infidelity could be useful, or could make no difference. Your best chance of a favorable divorce is hiring a good attorney and doing exactly what he says. Otherwise, for example, approaching her affair partner could get c…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/15 11:52 PM
6

Read everything in the sidebar, especially the course prerequisites. I read your ask TRP post - you definitely need to read WISNIFG. I mean you should read the other two books too, but your background (batshit and abusive mother) is almost definitely going to mean you've developed serious codependent traits. As you do the reading, take your time. Take notes on key observations that may relate to your marriage. Think about it, a lot. Too many guys pop in here and start asking questions and it's c…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/15 10:35 PM
1

She's just as you described - insane overachiever - and I'm far more laid back. I don't necessarily want my family to become a "high-powered efficient task-completing machine". Hmm. You can be "laid back" but still be an "oak." An oak, by definition, is not a frantic and anxious organism. It pretty much just... chills there. Even an anthropomorphic oak would not be this high-intensity, go-go-go character. But that doesn't mean it's just chilling there. When our anthropomorphic oak moves, it make…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/15 08:39 AM
8

Dude. Based on your other comments here, please get the fuck of Reddit and TALK TO A LAWYER. You're assuming your wife will get custody and you'll be forced to "follow her around the country." Why? Figure out exactly what kind of circumstances could make you eligible for primary custody, and make it happen. IANAL, but I suspect a lawyer would tell you to document EVERYTHING, not just her outbursts but also your own time with your child. It sounds like you're also on the cusp of having a much mor…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/15 09:44 AM
1

3. OK, time to man up and lead, Captain. As part of your MAP, you should have some list of household improvements or family commitments or the equivalent. This is your priority list for the household. If you think you need new shingles, your your wife doesn't just get to pre-empt that because she's hamstering about the swimming pool in that moment. Make that part of your MAP very public to her. When you're investing your time in running the household, you're working on these items. These are ite…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/15 02:45 AM
1

OK, so I outlined all this because understanding your wife's frame, and the essential foods her hamster feeds on to run so fast, is critical. Your initial question was very much a "forest for the trees" question. I'm going to outline a combination of alpha and beta steps you can take to start disrupting your wife's hamster, eventually starving it enough that it starts slowing down. And the ideal outcome as it slows down, it starts dragging its feet, it wants a little nap. And so her hamster lies…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/15 02:45 AM
1

I think one of the biggest things I am getting from all of this is the "captain" piece.... I read some of the books from the side bar... I get the captain and first officer thing. I have started to incorporate it into my life... So the Captain/FO is a good basis for establishing frame in your marriage, but how quickly your wife adopts that frame depends on several things, one major component is how strong her frame is. It sounds like she came into your marriage with this titanium and steel-reinf…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/15 01:45 AM
9

Your wife was fairly screaming that she wanted some intimacy with her husband that she hadn't seen in two weeks. I have no fucking idea how you read pure Shit Test in any of that. She was practically begging you to let her suck you off. The next time that happens, you should probably let her.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 02:37 PM
5

OK, back to Dread. So the beauty of Dread is, this is how you dismantle her frame and construct your own. I would recommend your read my post on Dread -- it's a long one, even longer than these chain of comments I'm leaving you, but I think it'll give you the context you need to construct your own frame. You're the luxury brand, you're the prize, and as you start carrying yourself that way, it's going to eventually start conflicting with your wife's frame. And you'll know this is happening when …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 11:14 AM
3

Anyway, back to another comment you made in your previous post... Wife: Why do you act so dramatically. You look just like my mother! You are always sick and I think your just a fucking looser. Look, when your wife says shit like this, she's basically just saying: Your illness is disrupting my ability to pretend the world revolves around me. Which makes her resentful that you're even daring to do this, even unintentionally -- so resentful that she verbally abuses you. We went to so many painful,…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 10:42 AM
8

Late to the party here, but based on your previous comments about your wife, you're going to need a sustained and long-term Super Triple Deluxe dose of Dread. I can already tell this is going to be a very long comment. I do hope you read it. My wife has some complex about her (ultra-super-mega-narcissistic) mother who seems to be ill every day of the year to extract maximum sympathy out of anyone within earshot. Seems this is one of my wife's defining characteristics of her mother that she gaine…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/15 10:42 AM
2

I know it makes for great theory, but I start looking at everyone I know in my life. I can't think of a single woman that would throw her marriage away for a nice AF, even given their hubby's are totally beta. Are you older than 45, and/or do your social groups consist of friends with high school age kids or older?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 06:38 PM
4

Look, if you were a supervisor for a team, and you had someone on your staff that you thought had some great potential, but was otherwise grossly underperforming, what would you do? You might try some covert things first. You may give him more challenging work, as perhaps his underperformance is due to essentially boredom. Or you may give him less challenging work, as perhaps he's overwhelmed but too prideful to admit it, and focusing on having him do a few things well, may lead to him doing a f…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 03:11 AM
3

I'm not proposing the impact will be identical. But men are capable of effective covert communication. Is it unreasonable to think women can be capable of effective overt communication with men? Plus if the OP makes so much money, she likes is in some high powered career like finance or medicine, and has to communicate overtly with men quite often. A lot of women are bad at this, but some are good, and she may be one of them. This may be why MRP can give a few types of women better advice than R…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 11:38 PM
10

Go figure, I start thinking about RPW theory on the same week we're banned from their sub. Oh well, their loss. In any event: I'm beginning to conclude the female version of Dread is basically just an overt ultimatum. Think about it -- we know women communicate covertly, so we advise against overt Dread. Hence the 12 Levels of Dread and not just saying "fuck me or fuck you." But men communicate overtly. PUA caught on with guys because it was concrete, actionable, overt advice. Not the usual bull…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 10:30 PM
11

EDIT: Wrote this on my phone last night, added a few more thoughts for clarity, and cleaned up autocorrect and other grammar errors. Hey man -- happy to see your updates here, if only so that my 10000+ character comments didn't end up being a waste of time. Haha. It sounds like you really need to keep hitting A/A hard. You seem good at it and your wife is literally begging you to do it to keep her nagging in line. So keep that up. Along the way she'll strike some low blows, but they're just shit…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 08:33 AM
3

This is good advice if you have your wife's affection, respect, and appreciation. So the reason why this is going to come across as Blue Pill bullshit is because without sufficiently alpha behavior, affection/respect/appreciation will be missing. Attempts to motivate your wife, for example, will just be met with some sort of Shit Test. You always try and fix things, I just want you to listen, you never pay attention to anything I say, blah blah blah.... This is good "keep dating your wife like y…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/15 08:05 AM
2

Does she often say things like "you're a fucking loser"? Are you a "loser?" Are you just Average Overwhelmed Dad? Are you otherwise successful at your job and make well above median income? Did your wife have a pretty good career, then became a SAHM when you had kids? I ask because I'm working off a theory here for some guys that are especially "beta bucks." Your wife is a terrible fucking person, no doubt. But if you fit the "successful at work but overwhelmed at home" archetype, I may have som…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/15 10:51 AM
2

AT FIRST glance the patriarchy appears to be thriving. More than 90% of presidents and prime ministers are male, as are nearly all big corporate bosses. Men dominate finance, technology, films, sports, music and even stand-up comedy. In much of the world they still enjoy social and legal privileges simply because they have a Y chromosome. So it might seem odd to worry about the plight of men. BTW, this is why we're fucked. Because "the people in power are men" gets construed by feminists into "m…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/15 12:50 AM
4

Just to let you in on a little secret in the world of "web content media," bloggers are paid to generate intentionally "inflammatory" articles like this. This is the basis of a lot of "social media marketing" and how content companies try to "go viral." This woman was clearly instructed to write this in the most controversial way possible. I can tell there are certain contradictions in this woman's story. She talks about feeling "repulsive" when she has sex when she's not in the mood, yet defend…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/15 12:29 AM
3

Look, I don't know if your wife has BPD, but she doesn't sound neurotypical either. You fucking had to judo flip your wife to get her to calm down, because you knew if you didn't engage she'd break your iPad and half your living room furniture. /u/RBuddDwyer pretty much outlined that BPD or not, this is some fucking weird behavior that I think goes beyond "anxious avoidant." You can handle your marriage and your life the way you want. But I hope you understand why your field reports here cause s…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 06:52 PM
5

You can kindly fuck off, sir, with the implication that I'm attracted to a slug. You weren't defending your Captain, you were defending yourself. Your ego was threatened at the idea that we consider your husband a low SMV male, and that would mean you were married to a low SMV male. So let's not beat around the bush - you could give a shit about defending your husband beyond how poorly his behavior reflects upon you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 06:34 PM
1

The thing about the ipad was that she would probably toss it across the room. She blew up like this once before years ago, smashed a glass, tossed a laptop, tried to tip over a bookcase. Well that escalated quickly. I think you're right that she needs to see some rage and jealousy. Yeah, I mean, I'm super-hesitant to even be making these suggestions, given this advice can easily be implemented wrong and veer into DV charges. But the alternative for you seems to be having to judo flip your wife o…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 02:48 AM
-1

A few thoughts here. What is your sex frequency now? Are you initiating and getting turned down? Or are you just asking how much Dread is necessary for her to initiate on her own? If your sex frequency was already "decent" (since you mentioned she can be very sexual), then maybe she's trying to "shore up weaknesses." Say you guys had sex twice a week and she cooked once a week. There's more "room for improvement" with cooking. Her value system may be such that cooking is actually a more signific…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/15 02:38 AM
1

A few months ago we were 6 people having dinner and she chose to proclaim loudly to all of us that it was unmanly to expect sex from a mother with young children. Just to clarify... that woman made this comment a few months ago, and you made a joke in reference to it within the past few days? That may have been why it had some significance to your wife. What's the opposite of "husband must tolerate wife neglecting him because of kids"? You clearly have a strong aversion to that, so your wife pro…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/15 10:19 PM
1

Look, you're wife a much bigger cunt than I had thought. I can understand a generally bitter/negative attitude if she's had years of health problems. But she says a lot of fucked up shit and her email proves she has an 800 hamster than got so fat because it feeds on spite sandwiches. What the fuck is she going to do even if she does somehow get you fired - feed your kids on a disability check? Anyway... Ugh, I almost hate giving you this advice, because like I said, your wife doesn't deserve an …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/15 10:40 AM
2

I'm really glad I read this comment before I posted my own response to /u/thisisme0007. I had 1000 words written about how OP's wife was looking for an "oak," and fogging, and how it looks like he got the wrong idea from "oldest teenager in the house"... blahblahblah. For what it's worth, I did see a lot of parallels in this great field report from /u/strategos_autokrator that actually seems very similar to his situation. But this woman doesn't deserve an oak. I thought OP's wife had been a bitc…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/15 12:09 AM
4

It sounds like you continue to feel regret that you got married too early and weren't more sexually active when you were younger. You feel like you're approaching peak SMV age and could have a lot of other options to fuck over women and you can't because you're married. The least your wife do for your "sacrifice" is to be enthusiastic about sex instead of just allowing her vagina to be a penis receptacle on occasion. You'll continue being frustrated in these situations until you deal with this c…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 04:36 PM
3

I don't know what this means. Your post and comments are very vague. Look, the fact you think this interaction had any significance probably means you're in the early stages of unplugging and your wife is noticing. If you want a bunch of guys to cheerlead you and give you the MRP version of "you go girl," mission accomplished. If you want actual advice and criticism, such as whether your wife's comment is stemming from some sort of resentment and why you may need to prepare for even more Shit Te…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 04:17 PM
1

But i think the most devastating out of her psycho-social problems is that she feels dirty and guilty after sex. This is pretty common with women raised in a very strong religious environment. They're constantly told not to treasure their virginity to suppress any sexual desire they have for the sake of some religious purity. Then you tell that woman after she's married, "all right, go be an uninhibited and sexually adventurous as you want with your husband -- the church smiles upon that." Yeah,…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 02:07 AM
2

Well, not what I'm saying, but I suppose I'm not making myself very clear. Anyway, good FR -- enjoy the rest of your time in the US.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 01:40 AM
2

I just thought it would be great if she did, and then I was disappointed when she didn't. Wouldn't that statement apply to a lot of things about your wife? It would be great if she texted you more, but she didn't. Etc. You're right that you had no reason to be disappointed/negative about her not initiating. But if you do want her to do things like initiate more, nothing wrong in recognizing that and encouraging that behavior with Dread et al. I suppose I'm just pointing out that this post comes …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 12:56 AM
3

I would add a very specific timeline for "nexting" your wife when you come to MRP. Even if you are not a Bluepill Mangina (and we know you are but whatever) then you should improve, lift, read, lurk, get busy, take charge, learn how to recognize and deal with shit tests, learn seduction and game FOR APPROXIMATELY ONE FULL YEAR before you file for divorce or cheat. Should this always be true, even if this isn't? But if she is popular among her friends, she can become good company. If she works ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 12:02 AM
2

She has no idea what's different, except she knows that it has nothing to do with her. Is that really true, though? Based on your post history, your wife is big on "emotional distance." I can't tell if this is a coping mechanism to prevent her from just pining from her absent husband, or whether she has some sort of dismissive-avoidant personality. But I do know this has bugged the shit out of you, probably for most of your marriage. It always seems like you've wanted her more than she'd ever wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 11:52 PM
6

Have you raised your own sons to be codependent pieces of shit who learn you should never do anything to make mommy feel bad? Let me know how that works out for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 04:13 PM
5

Just to piggyback on that... your children are just going to see dad having zero empathy for mom. Not that I'm saying that with any judgment, I'm really not, but hopefully you can see why I'd read you saying "I see how badly see needs a morsel of my attention but I could give two fucks" is pretty much zero empathy. Then they will probably see your mom alternating between being angry and being sad about it. Even worse, this may actually be encouraging Blue Pill futures for your kids! You'll blow …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 09:36 AM
6

This is a really good post. I've often commented with some advice along the lines of: "I would suggest you do this. This action will probably cause your wife to react badly and cause her to fly off the handle. When that happens, maintain frame. If she gives you the inevitable guilt trip, use Fogging if necessary. Then..." For me to say "maintain frame" in this example is misleading. Really I think I should be using the phrase "remain stoic." I could have substituted an even more colloquial phras…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 09:14 AM
1

If everyone is stuck in a tit-for-tat loop of playing mean cards no one benefits. Interesting, never considered this. Usually things like Christmas or birthdays prompt some "nice cards" to break this "iterated Prisoner's Dilemma" cycle you mention. Is your marriage completely devoid of this as well? Or do you really have conversations where your wife says things like, "why didn't you get me anything for our anniversary?" and you say, "well, not like you got me something, so I don't see the issue…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 12:55 AM
12

Slow your roll, William the Conqueror. 9.emotionally manipulative. I feel like a bastard if I ever say no to anything. You absolutely need to read NMMNG and WISNIFG if you haven't yet. Otherwise you're bringing a knife to a gun fight. Anyway the list is what she is hearing about come Friday. Fuck, you aren't even trying to bring a knife to a gun fight. You're showing up with a list of knives you think are acceptable to fight with, and you want her to sign that list so you can agree to duel with …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 12:25 AM
23

EDIT: a word. Also, the storyline to "Sex and the City VI" has been significantly improved. In your situation, I actually think your approach is a bad idea. Well, I think it's a bad idea in general, if only because you're setting a terrible example in your marriage for your son. He will model his future sexual relationships on messages he internalizes observing mommy and daddy, because that's what we all do by default, and only some of us eventually develop enough self-awareness to do otherwise.…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 11:32 PM
2

If I may ask -- what is your wife's medical condition? In your previous post you said: she said it is a medical condition and that 'i know that' and i told her she isnt doing anything to fix it. (Im the one who made the doctors appointments for her.) Is this a diagnosed condition? Have doctors recommended any treatment? If this is a mental illness (e.g. Major Depressive Disorder), then swallowing the Red Pill probably isn't going to work too well. She's not going to act like a mentally healthy, …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 10:14 PM
1

Just to clarify -- every state is technically "no fault." You can get divorced for any reason. However, some states have clauses for "at fault." If you can prove certain things (such as adultery), then there is a distinction in how the divorce is processed. For example, a state may make you wait a year between filing for divorce and actually processing the divorce. But if you can prove "at fault," then you don't need to wait a year. You can file for divorce her right then and the state will proc…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 10:51 PM
16

/u/strategos_autokrator recently said in another thread: Being a leader is more work. From this work is where authority comes. Your wife will sometimes Shit Test you about getting things done. You pretty much have to interpret the Shit Test as a cry for leadership or whether she's just being a bitch. Let's use this Shit Test as an example. Your wife says: "Here you go, complaining about sex again. Did it ever occur to you I do so much around the house that I'm too tired for sex? Maybe if you hel…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 10:14 PM
2

Are you married? Any kids? This just sounds like an LTR that ran it's course years ago. If so, you're way better off just following through on the break-up and getting back in the dating pool.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 08:21 PM
1

Sex was never often. once or twice a week at the beginning. Now, it's weekend sex. If we go out and have a good time she gets in the mood and my advances are reciprocated and met with success. So, probably sex 2 or 3 times a month. and I made money, I was funny. I had a full head of hair then. I've put on 40 pounds and have pretty much given control of the marriage to the wife. This makes me think your wife was never particularly "hot" for you, even at the beginning, and her raw physical attract…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 07:52 PM
3

I just read that exchange with the disappear_vanish guy. I think the issue is WMP just really doesn't like it when statements are said like they're axiomatic, when they're really not. I don't even they were disagreeing that nuch. Had D_V said: "everyone is being too quick to suggest divorce. Has he developed a MAP? Is she slothful in spite of bad leadership? She would not be the first woman to get her shit together with good leadership." I doubt WMP or anyone else would have thought this was a c…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 08:37 AM
1

None of this stuff will really work until you have made the decision that anything, including divorce, is better than the status quo. I've debated writing more about "divorce rape" for this exact reason. I was divorced 10+ years ago, and like... it wasn't the end of the world. Don't get me wrong, it really sucked. But what was the alternative? Staying in a loveless, fractured, and scarred marriage? With a good lawyer and no real extenuating circumstances (ie. you have no criminal record or other…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 04:10 AM
1

Pre-selection is an interesting point, especially because it does favor heavily into luxury brand marketing. Luxury brands naturally want the powerful and elite members of society to use their products. So some brands will give celebrities (and other powerful figures in society) a chance to try their products, in an effort to promote this kind of pre-selection. Kim Kardashian uses this, so I should use it too! However, sometimes it becomes pretty transparent when the celebrity genuinely likes th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 03:35 AM
5

I know I'm going to feel this way (not always leg day, but generally some sort of physical exhaustion) at least a couple times a month. This is why I generally try and bank "selfish sex" for these times. If my wife is getting frisky when I wasn't otherwise contemplating sex that night, I'll start saying things like, "you want to make me feel good, baby?" Setting the tone (frame?) that this session is all about her making me feel good, which usually means oral and/or letting her ride me. Usually …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 12:06 AM
1

YMMV will definitely vary, but my ex-wife and wife both found themselves feeling this mix of horny and self-conscious in the second and third trimesters. I recommend a lot of "dinnertime sex" in the first trimester. Here's why. Your wife will probably be feeling shitty in the mornings. She'll also be feeling tired in the evenings and want to go to bed at like, 9:30pm. If your generally pattern for sexytimes is right before bed, that's going to be a problem. Try and set a pattern for more afterno…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 10:38 PM
6

Everyone here is going to tell you to do the sidebar reading. They are right. Do that first. That will be infinitely more valuable than trying to deconstruct these individual conflicts with your wife. That being said, I can tell from your post that you have some really unhealthy relationship dynamics. Your wife likely struggles with some sort of mental issues like depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, she's smart enough to leverage these mental problems for emotional manipulative purposes. Her …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 08:20 PM
3

NMMNG is pretty much universally applicable. Will give you guidance on how to set boundaries for respect in your marriage without anger/resentment. It's critical on how to handle yourself on an everyday basis in your marriage. It's never a bad idea to start with that first. If your wife is prone to using emotional guilt trips and you feel you have some codependent personality traits, then I would recommend WISNIFG first. If your wife is a generally pleasant person, but she just doesn't really se…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 07:54 PM
1

Heh, go figure. Well I just added an EDIT to my first post explaining the misleading "1/3." Gonna go ahead and delete 2/3 and 3/3 posts now.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 12:21 AM
1

NP -- I like the long-form style when it can just be read as by scrolling on a single web page. The voting may still stuck up the comment positioning, but oh well. So I'm done consolidating everything to the first post. Would be cool if a mod could just remove the "(1/3)" in the title? Then I'll delete (2/3) and (3/3).
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 12:01 AM
4

The Wrap-Up "And the terrible thing, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, is that if something happened to one of us--excuse me for saying this--but if something happened to one of us tomorrow, I think the other one, the other person, would grieve for a while, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough. All this, all of this love we're talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory." Hopefully y…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:50 PM
5

Dread Pitfalls, And What You Can Do About Them (Continued) The hamster doesn't exit the maze gracefully, but just busts through all the walls in the most direct path. You probably have friends that basically buy every Apple product. You may have noticed that they don't actually use some of those products very much. You ask them how they like the new iPad Air3 Mini Plus, and they gush about it, but it sounds kind of... forced. Then you notice they don't really use it that much. Apple has done suc…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:49 PM
6

Dread Pitfalls, And What You Can Do About Them “My heart is broken,” she goes. “It’s turned to a piece of stone. I’m no good. That’s what’s as bad as anything, that I’m no good anymore.” Here's the bad news with Dread: it doesn't always work. The hamster doesn't always exit the maze, or it exits from a different path than intended. If you're struggling with Dread, something like that is probably happening. Below is my analysis of the typical causes. The hamster becomes aware its in a maze and ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:49 PM
6

The Hamster Maze: A Variant of the Hamster Wheel “They had laughed. They had leaned on each other and laughed until the tears had come, while everything else--the cold, and where he'd go in it--was outside, for a while anyway.” OK, so we've covered: Scarcity -> Loss Aversion -> Anxiety -> [Anxiety-Reducing Behavior] -> Rinse, Repeat. You are obviously going into this with an idea of what that "Anxiety-Reducing Behavior" is, but your wife isn't. And as I've pointed out repeatedly, you can't just …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:38 PM
7

Active Dread: Meh. "Something's died in me," she goes. "It took a long time for it to do it, but it's dead. You've killed something, just like you'd took an axe to it. Everything is dirt now." I just described how luxury brand marketing can be difficult because it cannot be an overt message. Overt messaging and scarcity are contradictory, and Dread is difficult for the same reasons. Going back to the infomercials, did the whole $49.99 FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY PLUS A FREE MUSTACHE GROOMING KIT! re…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:36 PM
1

Haha - I posted this, realized it looked stupid, and also didn't want you guys to think I was trying to monopolize the MRP page. However, character max for posts are 15K, and comments are only 10K, so I've been working on editing/re-organizing this. Give me about 20-30 mins for me to do this and I'll delete Part 2/3 as posts. Cool?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 11:30 PM
3

Just took the SMV for me and her. No way this can be right. She is a -18 and I am a 9. You are dating a woman that is: Nearly 50 years old Has three (well, two, RIP) kids with another man Has cheated on you multiple times Cost you tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years Birthed you a son, that you had to fucking DNA test for And yet it's hard for you to grasp why she's a goddamn -18? You are at pretty much at peak SMV age. Is this really going to be the woman you spend the r…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/15 05:29 AM
1

It came off as pre-planned, wooden and needy. But hey we had sex twice in a week so I thought this was progress. Yeah, the whole "always have sex, even starfish" advice is confusing. Usually the implication is the marriage has gone through a huge dry spell, and the starfish is due to the wife's own anxieties about whether her man is actually "alpha'ing up," or whether she's being "duped" again. Also the assumption is the wife will remember, "oh yeah, sex is fun!" and warm up in the future. But t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 11:52 PM
1

Hey /u/casual_shanter -- I'm gonna consolidate all my responses to you here. When we do fuck it's usually "ok but first I want to sit down and plan our holiday / show you the solution I've found for storage in our daughter's bedroom / do a quick 15 minute blitz on the housework". Yeah, this is how her mental model works. Being "productive" for her is more "fun" for her than actual fun. Is this an annoying attitude? Sure. But the flip side of this extreme is a wife that's likely fat and lazy and …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 11:52 PM
8

I suppose you could describe this behavior as your wife wanting to do something you want to encourage (fitness), but then being a total pain in the ass about it, and intruding in your space. In your case I would have just said, "look, do your sets there. I'm not going to rearrange the whole garage on the first day you want to do this. Make this a routine, then we can buy a third fan or figure out some other setup." It's really not much different than handling a bratty child. You'll support a pat…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 10:08 PM
18

You had a problem with this conversation because you literally lied to your wife. Women love to ask this goddamn fucking question and act like anything except "yes" means you're a heartless asshole. It's literally one of the oldest Shit Tests. I have a theory that Shakespeare wrote all those fucking sonnets because he kept failing Shit Tests and trying to figure out how to answer "how much do you ACTUALLY unconditionally love me?" The answer to this question is no. That is the truth. You should …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 11:09 AM
1

Women really just have terrible fitness knowledge in general. Doing anything heavier than 8 lb hand weights will make them risk "getting too muscular," and you have to do 10 reps of 1000 because that's the only way to "get toned" instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 10:03 AM
2

Last section here, pinky swear. Stop initiating sex. In the past I've been quick to point out the limitations of Dread because it can be overused. /u/BluepillProfessor can attest to some discussions/debates we've had about this. The feeling of Dread is the opposite of the feeling of taking someone for granted. But if your wife isn't fucking you, it's not always directly due to taking you for granted. But your case is the clearest situation of being taken for granted I have EVER seen on MRP. She …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 09:19 AM
2

You may be nodding your head, "Wow, well, that does all seems to make a lot of sense. But what can I do about it?" So here's my proposal. Your wife seems to operate very well in a structured, corporate-esque environment. When this environment doesn't exist, she seeks to establish it. She is a woman with a very strong frame. I also suspect that based on your own comments, you operate very well in the same environment, but more as "operations" than as an "executive" or a "manager." At your workpla…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 09:03 AM
2

OK, here goes. I had thought, based on your previous posts, that your wife may have had some libido issues that were more about her body, or her mom dying, or whatever. However, this is very clearly not the case. So anything I may have previously said about her insecurity, anxiety, grieving, whatever -- fuck that noise. You have an entirely different situation than I had assumed. I appreciate you answering that question because I have a much clearer viewpoint of your situation. Your wife is quit…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 08:36 AM
1

I posted my comment not because I doubted you qualified, but because what you're suggesting could be somewhat misleading for a lot of other dudes here. So we see, by simply applying yourself and putting the dread on the simmer with your body changes, you can influence your wife to make positive changes and then associate her hard work and success with you. Furthermore, once she sees results, she'll be hooked but eventually her association of these things to you will fade, but her habits will sti…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 07:14 AM
3

This is a fantastic approach, although it comes with some heavy prerequisites. You must be the unquestioned Captain in your marriage. If you're only a provisional Captain (ie. recently swallowed Red Pill, good results so far, but beta behavior is too recent) then this will likely result in resistance. Your First Officer will be happy to see her Captain being a good Captain. She'll want to see a great Captain before she's especially responsive to advice on how she can be a great First Officer. Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/15 12:35 AM
1

I can see that the likely advice is going to be that my wife hates me so I should get out. Hold up man. First of all, I appreciate you having the balls to just write everything you did. Not easy to say shit like this. The reason I asked those questions because I suspected your posts to MRP were a little misleading. You mention having similar SMVs, you mention your wife's Dread about you possibly having an affair, but I got the sense there was a lot more to your story. I mean, the top comment thr…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 10:09 PM
2

I have a few questions for you, depending on your answers I may be able to help clear up some of your confusion. Does your wife masturbate? Does she seem to have any sort of sex drive at all? What does it take for you to typically bring her to orgasm? I have a feeling she is (or perhaps became over time) one of those "only orgasms if I eat her out for half an hour" women. Have read SGM? Unclear from your previous comments. You mentioned you had kids in previous posts. Are they both old enough to…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 08:24 PM
3

For fuck's sake. People here need to stop saying this shit. It's one of the WORST things parrotted on Red Pill because it prevents guys from understanding their options. I don't advocate divorce but I also don't advocate assuming US divorce case law always ends up with the man being stripped of 80% of his assets and income, seeing his kids five minutes a week. How can we advise guys to have Outcome Independence when we also say, "yeah, by the way, this one outcome will ruin your life forever." D…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 01:51 PM
5

You say you're not married and have no kids. Great. Let her leave. If you want a RPW, go date one. You are literally at peak SMV age. Have some fun dating and eventually you'll meet a cute girl who values keeping a feminine appearance, who likes being sexually adventurous in a monogamous relationship, and is happy to make dinner for her man especially when he's spent the day mowing the lawn. Unicorn? Eh, maybe, but there are women out there a lot closer to this than your soon to be ex SO. You sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 01:39 PM
2

Hey man. Really happy to see this. You clearly like cooking. I'd recommend extending that interest into things like fishing. If you have the backyard and weather for it, maybe dig up a garden. Buy some shit at Home Depot and make your own planters. Live off the land, eat what you kill, that sort of thing. I mention this because is another thread you said "normally I'd talk with the women about cooking." Food preparation can be very masculine too. You don't have to limit being a "foodie" to shopp…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/15 08:00 AM
11

Your wife apparently likes to act like an adversarial bitch. Her "low blows" are fundamentally a sign of a disrespect. Shitty things happen in real life. A good wife who respects her Captain will give him a chance to right the ship and get back on course. This is not what your wife does. Rather than reflect on why this is, and whether her disrespect is because your behavior doesn't deserve it or because you basically just married a miserable cunt, you've decided to disrespect her back. Then you …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/15 12:53 PM
8

EDIT: I wrote some stuff about therapy and divorce here. In retrospect I think those thoughts are perhaps better served for a separate post, especially since I realized... I'll prepare for your diagnosis to be correct, and hope that it is not. Actually, your situation may not be quite as dire as I implied. I was thinking more about that situation when your wife sniped at you at dinner. She uses emotional distance as her way of expressing disapproval. But when you demonstrate your inoculation to …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/15 11:39 PM
25

It looks like your wife uses "emotional distance" often as a weapon. This is likely due to how she was raised. Whenever she did something her parents disapproved of, they witheld affection until she threw herself at their feet begging for forgiveness, promising to never do [whatever] if only they would hug her and love her again. This has probably formed the model of all her relationships in adulthood. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a trail of old friends she's "fell out of touch with over t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/15 10:10 PM
3

I feel as if she owes me an apology but I know that is not RP principle however I cannot continue living like this as I feel no love or attraction for this woman any longer but I do not want to feel this way. Look man, this is your problem. You were never all that attracted to your wife, you've only gotten less attracted to her as she's gradually become more and more of a fatass. But you thought she was pious and would be a devoted wife and good mother, which your culture taught to value. You ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/15 12:39 AM
2

You've probably heard the term "hitting rock bottom." When the protagonist hits "rock bottom" movies, this usually means lying around in your bathrobe and underwear, not having shaved in a month, with empty pizza boxes scattered in the coffee table in front of you. This scene is usually followed by the protagnist's best friend coming by, giving some sort of motivational speech that's mixed with "you're better than that" and "don't give up, what do you have to lose?" and a montage of the protagon…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/15 08:42 PM
2

Look, my advice has nothing to do with RP at all. But I do think, based on everything you've told me, that your man is a "dopamine addict," and there's not really anything you can do until he gets recognizes and then gets help for it. The following is some ELI5 science. I am not a medical or psychiatric professional, so you should absolutely take everything I'm about to say with a whole shaker worth of salt. But I do have ADHD-HA (hyperactive) and take similar medications to your man. I also hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/15 08:42 PM
3

Get home, I start paying some bills and she calls me to the room. She's on the bed naked. I proceed. Based on your last post and this one, I think there may be a pattern here. Your wife likes to go to bed with you. She doesn't seem to be able to go to sleep as well when you're not in bed at the same time. In your last post, everyone focused on how she said she was too tired for sex, but then was awake when you prayed, and then fell asleep immediately when you returned to bed. I think you create …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/15 07:12 AM
2

TL;DR, since this comment ended up being stupidly long: MRP is Red Pill. But in my opinion, the submissions you may read in the TRP subreddit are not consistently Red Pill, or may dwell on areas of Red Pill that are not particularly useful to people like us. I think /u/angels_fan is referring to the subreddit communities, and not the actual ideas/theories/philosophies/etc. Which, if so, I actually agree with him completely. TRP is way too focused on the anger stage. I can see why they want to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 07:50 AM
7

Hey man. Looks like you made peace with the mods. Happy to see that. Please read this book, and really, all the other sidebar books. Especially WISNIFG in your case. Until then, I would recommend you limit posting on MRP. I'm not suggesting this because I'm a dickhead, but for two reasons. One is because it looks like you were using the DeadBedrooms subreddit as more of a journal/diary than anything, and you may be tempted to do that here. I'm sure it was cathartic to get your distress and frust…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/15 07:10 AM
1

A few ideas to get your wife to knock this behavior off. You should have a target goal (and sub-goal) for your fitness and make it very apparent your wife. Read up on "SMART" goals. You're not just "losing weight," you want to get down to X pct body fat by Y date. Then you want to increase W lean body mass by Z date. This will make it very clear to your wife that it takes more than a plate of cookies to slow you down. When your wife makes cookies, tell them these look great and you think your co…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/15 07:34 PM
1

In his comment history, OP says he lives in Ohio, and typical custody arrangement is every other weekend and Wednesdays for non-custodial parent, or something like that. He says "that would kill him." IANAL and I don't live in Ohio. But I have been divorced with a kid, and IMO "divorce rape" is way more overblown on the main TRP board then it actually is. Usually it's guys who want an "amicable divorce" and don't want to "waste more money on a lawyer then they'd get in a divorce anyway." And usu…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/15 07:22 PM
4

I think Sepean is referring to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults#Insecure If you have a wife that has a tendency to be anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, or fearful-avoidant, this can greatly inform how you should handle Shit Tests and Comfort Tests. If you have a tendency to be any of those, that can also be a great lens for any introspection. I would not be surprised if a lot of us had anxious-preoccupied traits. This is why I think AWALT can be "intellectually laz…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/15 06:43 PM
8

Dude, I'm not gonna ease up on shit. You want to to try everything, then try making some time to read the fucking books. Until then you won't even know what questions to ask. You'll just be whining about how your wife is a bitch and why you can't get her to stop. I've already given you way more actionable advice than anyone else that's ever commented on the other subs. All everyone else has told you is "poor you" or "she sucks, divorce." Real helpful, right? I'm not telling you to get divorced. …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/15 11:56 AM
40

Yep, it's crap. Your normal philosophy is working great. Just keep doing that. Dude, this isn't how it works. If you did the reading you wouldn't be asking these questions. Or you wouldn't be asking them this way. Everything you just posted is framed about your wife. I read your post history when you posted earlier today. Your wife literally hates you. You realize that, right? She treats you so fucking poorly and what do you do? You provide her a home, you cook all her meals, you clean all her c…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/15 11:08 AM
1

Saw your other responses. OK, I'll bite, if only because I may have some first-hand experience with one of your man's problems. Is the medication he's abusing an ADHD medication like Adderall?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 11:18 PM
1

Just to add another point. I'm 44, my wife is 36. That's 8 years. Men die 7 years earlier than women. I have 15 years of health I need to make sure I'm covering ground on. If that's not motivation to get your ass in the gym and lift, and to maintain a good diet and overall good health, I don't know why is.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 08:18 AM
8

Clearly a troll. Obviously meant to illustrate some sort of hypocrisy over Dread Game. We advise it, RPW doesn't. Blue pullers are too delusional to realize why, but they think they can get some lolz by baiting us anyway. 19 BMI but huge hits and "better than Elizabeth Taylor face"? Yeah, OK. More troll points if you get some MRP guys to PM you and suggest an affair, I suppose. Then it's "LOL MRP thinks they're saving marriages but look at how many losers suggested having an affair with m my fak…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/15 08:12 AM
3

Thanks for this context. Usually marriages don't unravel as badly as yours without external stressors. I had assumed they were financial. Too many guys have some mediocre job, play too many videogames etc. Then wonder why their wife is a nagging shrew after all these years. I recommend after NMMNG you read WISNIFG. With the problems your wife has, you're going need to Fog the shit out of her hamster. Statements like "I know you feel shitty. Do you feel so shitty that acting this way makes you fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 07:00 PM
2

Er... I was just quoting a commenter on the linked post. Hope you don't think this was my analysis or I feel this way myself. I personally have no problems with Dread. Especially from a moral standpoint. I am the furthest thing from a moral absolutist. I've raised the issue that Dread can't serve as a general form of operant conditioning. It will make sure your wife stop taking you for granted, and it will motivate her to act in ways to prevent you from leaving. But it can't make her overcome he…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 06:23 PM
1

Thanks man, I appreciate that. I propose HARD CORE FUSCHIA. Haha. Ever play charades or pictionary? It's a lot harder when you can't give some sort of category in the beginning. There's no context to your actions. It's very easy to be misinterpreted. Sometimes you just want to blurt out, "NO, STOP GUESSING MOVIE TITLES, IT'S NOT A MOVIE." So around things like boundaries or respect, I think some overt communication can be helpful. You basically tell your wife she's got it wrong, then you show he…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 06:11 PM
1

Yeah. Look, your wife sounds pretty smart and organized, objectively speaking. My wife is great but she's not "book smart." So yeah, She defers to my leadership easily. She'll also possibly do things like fuck up booking a flight, or get sucked into some multilevel marketing bullshit, or come home upset from work because a coworker was a big meanie head in a meeting. Logistically speaking, someone like your wife is going to be a strong First Officer, more so than someone like my wife. But yeah, …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 05:40 PM
3

In the OP, there are several references to asking/thinking if his wife gave him a Shit Test. In my opinion his marriage is in such a poor state, it's unlikely passing or failing individual Shit Tests will make a difference. You can't pass Shit Tests without some semblance of frame and I doubt OP has any. So he'll just be using up mental cycles trying to evaluate Shit Tests he can't pass anyway. Better to use that focus on improving his SMV and developing his MAP. Say OP asks his wife for a ride …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 05:26 PM
9

Glad to see this response. Just channel that overzealousness into a more methodical and deliberate approach. I assume you don't have a job that pays you that we'll because you're reckless and impatient. But man, if I can ask - what the fuck happened to your marriage? Even the typical beta bucks guys usually get some starfish sex a few times a year.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 11:21 AM
2

A few thoughts. There's no way this one fight you had erased six months of progress. This is classic goal sabotaging behavior. It's like people who do great on their diet, then succumb to a Five Guys craving, then think they're weak and worthless and they might as well just eat fast food all the time again. You're better than that man. You lost frame, it happens. Don't let resentment fester. You will notice these little annoying behaviors and they will start adding up in your mind. This is basic…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 11:07 AM
2

I'm happy to read this. No need to hash out anything. Identifying root causes of your mental model like narcissism, codependency, etc, are useful to a certain point. Introspection is mandatory and it's hard to get good, objective introspection when you don't realize your lens is distorted by some baggage you're still carrying from your youth. But eventually we all just need to get the fuck over ourselves and lead the lives we want to lead. It sounds like you're well on your way to doing that. Fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 09:47 AM
14

Look man. If you read this far, then I'm sure all of the above sounds harsh. But I wouldn't have taken the time to write this much (I mean, fuck, I just exceeded the 10,000 character limit for a comment) if I didn't think there was a chance this would be helpful and you weren't completely beyond redemption. I know she doesn't like how the beta me never addressed her car safety (rotate/swap tires, check inflation, have brakes checked, etc...) And this sentence I'm quoting here was what indicated …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 08:20 AM
25

Did I bite off more than I can chew / act too fast? Jesus Christ. YES. OK, so here's how this going to work. I'm going to quote your post and respond with my thoughts. My words will not be very kind. Some of the other commenters on your post seem to think your approach is on "the right track" and your wife is just being a garden-variety bitch. They may be right, but I don't think they're really parsing the state of your marriage here. Wednesday - I am in blue pill land, in a 12 year marriage (2 …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/15 08:18 AM
4

In your last thread you posted this comment about your "honor": http://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/324rxl/i_did_something_either_stupid_or_painfully/cq7zkua I think it's painfully clear to me some of your issues aren't your sense a sense of honor, but holding yourself to a standard of honor and then inconsistently following through. Not using birth control because "we should really stop having premarital sex" This is what I mean. Your sense of honor says, "we shouldn't have premarit…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 06:47 PM
3

Yeah. This is what I read by the "once a week" comment. Sex to her is like how most people feel about the gym. They know they "should" do it, they know they like how they feel after they do it... But they don't actually like the act of doing it. Lifting weights is literally painfully tedious. And you have to drive, and change, and shower, and it's just a whole *thing.... * This is sex to your wife. "Have sex more with husband" is just a stupid box on her to do list, next to shit like "learn Fren…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 09:15 AM
2

Yeah I know her mom's death has nothing to do with your sex life. Just saying that in the short-term, too much Dread is going to trigger a superhuman hamster and maintaining frame will be tough. The passive Dread you're generating right now by increasing your SMV is enough. You can break out the real "fuck me or fuck you" big Dread guns down the line.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 08:39 AM
3

It's a medical problem. Find a doctor, make an appointment, drive her there, go with her. Your frame is that none of this is optional. She has to go. Health issues are non-negotiable. This probably sounds like Owning Her Shit. Maybe it is. But your frame isn't "my wife has irregular periods and I can't convince her to see a doctor." Your frame is "my family has a health risk and it should and will be evaluated by medical professionals." You shouldn't have to worry about whether you convinced her…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 07:46 AM
3

Man, I love seeing shit like this. I think protectively putting your distance between yourself and a partner who is hurting you, or taking care of your own needs when they aren't being taken care of is a perfectly rational and respectable thing to do. Hell, pulling away even makes sense when what you are dealing with is rejection. But a choreographed plan to make your spouse feel insecure so they supplicate to your demands is different. "Dread Game is good, unless you're doing it with any self-a…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 01:21 AM
12

Her implication as I should have seen coming is that I need to be nicer, more supportive, listen more, do more chores, buy flowers Hah. Hahaha. Hahahaha. Perhaps respond with something like this: "Well, I don't feel that way. I've never seen our marriage as an arrangement where I do chores and buy you shit and get sex in return. If you do, I think that's going to be pretty unfortunate for us." Pretty much everyone on MRP will tell you to just end the conversation here. Ignore the hamster, walk o…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/15 01:06 AM
6

Saw your previous post. I would chalk this up to logistical/hormonal issues if your wife really did pass out when she talked about being tired. Instead you prayed and she was still awake. I suspect she may have some lasting anxiety about sex. If she was horny while pregnant and you fell into a pattern of shooting her down, that may have pretty much sucked for her. She's feeling fat and huge and her own husband is reinforcing this by being unwilling to fuck her. Now the baby is born, the easiest …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/15 09:59 AM
7

Is anything about this woman redeeming? She only wants another baby because she's trying to do something with the (sadly likely genetically damaged) ticks left in her biological clock. You are literally at peak SMV age (at least according to Rollo) and you are spending these years with a chubby older woman who seems to only tolerate your presence because she needs you as a potential sperm donor. For your immediate situation, I'd just reply "no." She'll hamster "why not?" and then say "it's unfai…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/15 09:31 AM
23

Dude. You were unemployed for a year. If you don't want these problems, don't be unemployed for a year. So it sounds like you were unemployed and ceded financial decision-making to her. You repeatedly use the phrase "I was reluctant," but despite all this "reluctant," it sounds like you never really put a hard veto down on those decisions. I'm guessing you probably felt like your wife wouldn't be receptive to your financial opinions because you were unemployed. Which part of that last sentence d…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 07:53 AM
2

I'm glad you posted this clarification. I think a few of us had assumed your wife's issue was either not treating her as your First Officer, or perhaps she felt her Captain was making abrupt decisions without much planning/foresight. Clearly, you put together a plan and informed her of why you thought this was a better option and she couldn't raise any objections that were remotely relevant. She felt comfortable with the current travel plans, because as tedious as they were, they were a tediousn…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 01:05 AM
3

Yes, I could show her I'm more attracted Good. Do that. and give her compliments non-stop but I don't think that's what we need. Um. What the fuck? This is the only way you can show her you're more attracted to her? She's clearly seeking your validation for her physical appearance. You really can't think of any way to do that besides showering her with vanilla "you always look great honey" compliments? Now I really am attracted to her, moreso than I've ever been Great. Like you said, "I could sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 08:16 AM
2

Regarding the calculation: I want the divorce to happen on my terms. Well, all I'd have to say at this point is, presenting her with Divorce will be the ultimate Push, so you need to be prepared for the ultimate Pull. She'll get hysterical, probably alternate between telling you to go fuck yourself, then telling you how you're her "rock" and how much she needs you, and then trying to frame things like, "isn't it worth fighting to save our marriage?" If you get to this point, make sure you're pre…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 07:47 AM
3

Dude -- time to put out this trash fire of a marriage. Start talking to a lawyer. Get your ducks in a row and prepare for divorce. If you both work, and you don't have kids, then actual "divorce rape" is probably unlikely. If you received any inheritance from your father, do whatever you can to protect having to split those assets from her. Sorry to sound blunt, and I'm not saying you should serve her divorce papers tomorrow. But my advice is to accept divorce as being a possible endgame for you…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 12:42 AM
6

I tend do dwell on things. Missed stock/business opportunities. This can sometimes manifest as a tendency to try and "re-create" perceived past failures, and then "win" at them. Some introspection on past mistakes is good, but rarely does life offer you a pure "do over" button. Thinking let's start over, but I'll get it right this time!" can often be a fool's errand, because your starting conditions won't be identical, so getting it "right/wrong" may not even be applicable. In your situation, I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/15 02:05 AM
2

As per your diagram, there is literally a single "dash" in between accepted MRP advice and what's considered too Blue Pill. This makes it very easy for confusion to set in. We're supposed to avoid covert contracts, which implies to communicate expectations overtly. Except we're also supposed to "always demonstrate, never explicate." Half our recommended books are by Kay Athol, yet we also accuse him of selling out, and preach Dread while he condemns it. Then we tell guys to utilize Dread, but to…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/15 12:02 PM
1

I'd recommend the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You." Essentially the premise is that "mastery begets passion." When you're badass at something, you'll love it. Not the other way around. We romanticize passion at the workplace, being so innately "passionate" that we're compelled to work so hard we can't help but become a virtuoso at it, while never thinking about it as "work." But this isn't how it usually works. If you quite literally despise your job, then yeah, maybe it's time to move on. B…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/15 01:13 AM
2

You have your own brain, right? So take whatever you want from the Red Pill. You have to evaluate whether you think you have your wife's respect, appreciation, and love. You may already have these. Or you may think you do, but you don't. If your wife berates you in public, even if she's "joking," then I'd say you definitely don't have her respect. These are things you have to decide for yourself. If you already have respect/appreciation/love from your wife, then there may not be much you need to…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/15 12:23 AM
12

Best case scenario she has a "click" moment and opens her legs willingly three times a week. All the witty replies in the other comments are good. But for a more long-term impact (ie. that "click" moment), you may want to try some some combination of Fogging (from WISNIFG) and a general "Socratic Method" approach. "Why do you think I'm having an affair?" "So you think I'm having an affair because... I'm going to the gym?" "What do you think I'd be getting out of an affair that I'm not getting wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/15 12:00 AM
1

Haha -- this jumped out at me too. I definitely enjoy a drink now and again, but downing a beer right after working out may be self-defeating. Unfortunately all the research I've read on "alcohol vs strength training" is very mixed. Lots of contradictory studies on whether alcohol consumption inhibits muscle growth during the recovery period. I think a lot of setbacks caused by alcohol consumption are second-hand anyway. Get drunk on Saturday night, and you're more likely to eat crap late at nig…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 11:39 PM
2

I watched with her the movie Neighbors the other night- and I really liked the bonding between Seth Rogen and the girl playing his wife. If by bonding you mean "leading your wife in accomplishing goals for your mutual benefit," I don't see that as contradicting Red Pill. Say you want to remodel part of the house. You can lead that project and have her help. You can listen to her opinions and decide she has a better eye for color and you'll go with her ideas for paint selections. As I mentioned b…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 11:57 PM
3

I have been working on maintaining my frame and being a bit stoic - but she will then ask why i am always angry now. I am not - but I am quieter and more reserved.. still working to figure out how to be the fun outgoing person and the oak, at the same time. Does part of "maintaining frame and being a bit stoic" mean no longer dumping your emotional problems on your wife? Your wife may have felt an emotional closeness when you did things like this. It's good to stop, because the more you need you…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 11:01 PM
5

Next day, I decided that since she is not meeting my needs any longer, I will no longer accommodate hers. Didn't do her morning smoothie, get the kids' lunch ready, etc. Good move. In a previous post you mentioned her father is a "huge jerk" and she idolizes him. I would imagine he does not make smoothies for anyone. You could use this as a framework for what behaviors you should cut out. Also consider whether some of these behaviors will have collateral impact on your kids. You still have to ru…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 06:59 PM
4

This is, unfortunately, something I consider a major deficit in TRP philosophy. We talk about how to mitigate the feminine imperative, but what about our masculine imperative? Nothing is discussed in a framework of maximizing reproductive success. What's our version of "Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks?" I wonder if this is some version of a "soft harem." The classic fictional example is Tony Soprano. Wife up a woman that's homely but will also be a caring and devoted mother, and who's willing to look th…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 08:31 AM
1

Love it man. This is a great analogy. Can't wait to see what you've got next.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 09:43 AM
2

Yeah. I think Nexting would be considered part of strong frame, but it can't be deployed in nearly the same way whole married. So every other part of the frame will be underdeveloped by comparison. I think all of us had the sinking feeling in our gut when we were engaged, and our wives gradually revealed their true colors. Man, maybe I should just cut loose, we thought, but then considered the consequences. We'd lose all those deposits, and our parents would be shocked and unhappy, and we'd have…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 09:33 AM
3

Really happy to see this. I think this is an area where MRP can really extend TRP. Playing on "Hard Mode" means a strong frame is essential. If single guys are dating a girl who makes them lose frame, they can just "next" the girl. This is why a lot of guys go through a cycle of "date a girl, get gradually more annoyed by her antics, break up." Then you ask them what happened, and they say "Eh, she was just crazy man. She'd lose her shit over the dumbest things. And she nagged me to death about …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 09:14 AM
3

I actually agree with all of this. My intent was to illustrate the "dark side" of what you described based on my personal experience. I basically read RedBaller's post and the words "addictive" and "compelled" and responded as if he said, "I've been trying heroin here and there and I really like the way it makes me feel -- is this a problem?" My "judgmental air" would be appropriate for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, but not this. Unlike heroin, approaching women can result in internalizing the …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/15 06:43 AM
-11

So you're saying you need advice for injecting more Dread in your marriage? (EDIT) ITT: theultimatecad posts an e-peen flex as a "Field Report," and jacktenofhearts' weekend is ruined when he makes a joke about it and loses magical internet points as a result.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/15 01:29 AM
3

Looks like the pill is stuck in the anger stage. I hope you aren't.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/15 12:33 AM
3

Great viewpoint, and exactly why I hang out in MRP and only occasionally skim TRP. RP is a set of tools. It is naive to think we all need to use all the same tools identically. Some of the tools, yeah. This is why we parrot "DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO?" to the point of parody. Because no matter what your situation is, there is never a situation where lifting will not benefit you. It's like a hammer in your toolbox. You will always need a hammer. There is literally not a single thing you can build with…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 06:44 PM
14

Yes, no shit it's the validation. I'm gonna guess you grew up with a codependent personality. Dad divorced mom, you had to make mom and your younger siblings feel better. You express love through protecting people from negative emotions. In other words, your self-worth is based entirely about how you make others feel. So you got older, ended up in the Friend Zone over and over again. Girls would talk to you about your problems, and then say, "thanks RedBaller, you're such a good friend" and you'…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 11:48 AM
2

Agree/amplify is very much based on "American" humor. Our comedians are the heroes. The gunslinger with the witty retort. The underdog who gets the girl at the end. Every comedy movie with a "loser" main character ends up as the hero at the end. In the UK, the comedian is an actual loser. Because life makes us all losers, but comedy is just those who have enough self-awareness to admit it. Watch "The Office US" vs "The Office UK" for a great example. All UK comedians are basically guys that tell…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 11:05 AM
1

She gets anxious when the intimacy gets too high and then she will often try to distance herself, sometimes with hostility and sometimes with self destructive behavior. I gotta be honest; this sounds pretty fucking challenging. Too much comfort, and she'll pull away because she's hoping to solicit some intense emotional reaction (e.g. jealousy) that she'll interpret as you loving her. But if that intense emotional reaction is too harsh, then she'll realize she fucked up, which her insecurities w…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 10:02 AM
7

TL;DR, since this comment ended up being pretty damn long: I propose a theory of hypogamy: branch swinging to a "better" mate, but defining "better for them" as worse than the guy they're with now. Then I suggest why women like OPs wife -- a woman with a combination of "insecurity and low self-worth" + "expectations that expressions of love are emotionally-charged" -- would be prone to doing this. BPP: If your wife is asking you about what you would do if she cheated SHE IS THINKING ABOUT CHEATI…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/15 02:12 AM
3

I think "disqualify" is being taken hyperliterally here. In the preceding paragraphs Rollo talks about marriage counseling. This is where announcing you "just get it" is doomed. I've known friends that got counseling, and the therapist says something like: "John, it sounds like Amy is saying that you seem content with your life, but while repetition is comforting to you, it becomes stale to her." And Amy goes, "YES! That's why I'm always suggesting we try new restaurants or take road trips or wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/15 10:15 AM
2

How comes you don't write more OPs There's a subset of guys here with problems like: "My wife is willing to have sex with me whenever I want, but how do I get her to actually enjoy sex?" "My wife is completely dedicated to me and my family, but how do I get her to stop being a fatass?" "My wife lets me do what I want and run the household, but how do I get her to actually enjoy life?" These are all different versions of asking the question, "how do I get my wife to change?" And I think we need b…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 11:50 PM
1

The good news is that if OP lifts, reads and continues to put his wife further and further away from the source of his contentment then he will do fine Me: "Are we just locked into parroting 'HARD CORE RED' principles?" theultimatecad: "Yes."
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 11:17 PM
3

Why is it so hard for you to accept that Dread will sometimes manifest as a woman acting out of obligation, and not enthusiasm? This is fine for some things. I came home from work on Friday, and my wife had made a cocktail for me. Why did she do this? I imagine she thought this earned some "good wife" points with me. She does something like this, I'm appreciative, that appreciation makes her feel closer. I then said the well formed line I read in here: "You're not turning me on. We will do this …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 10:45 PM
3

Thoughts? It seems really weird that things have gone so nuclear so quick. The whole phone thing is fubar, I messed up and looked weak, I know that but people fuck up. Its a really small thing. Any insight on this situation is welcome, and as always, sorry for the text wall. It's likely she feels this is a pattern of "my husband can't do anything right." She doesn't trust your leadership of the household. She doesn't even trust you to clean right, it sounds like. Wife can keep verizon, keep a go…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 08:13 PM
9

In Rollo's own most recent post, he says: The Rational Male will always be an endeavor in descriptiveness, not prescribing what I think anyone ought to be doing. At the end of the day, we're married to our wives, not "the feminist imperative." I see "prescriptive Red Pill" (lift, Dread, A/A, etc) as a shovel to help men dig themselves out of a huge pile of shit they're in. But once we emerge from that pile of shit, and wash ourselves off, what then? Well, you'll probably want to replace that pil…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/15 11:14 AM
11

Here's the thing about male friendships. They're usually forged in a common bond or struggle. Think about your friendships when you were younger, they probably didn't start when you walked up to another kid and said, "hey, let's be friends!" You were probably already in the same classes or sports teams or whatever. You probably can't even describe how you "became" friends, it just sort of... happened. You knew the kid for awhile, and then you'd sit at the same lunch table, and then he'd come to …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/15 10:34 PM
11

In my first marriage, I went through something similar. Ex-wife had a loved one with health problems and it seemed like I couldn't do anything right. If I was "emotionally supportive," then she'd snipe about how I really wanted to help her, I'd get some chores done. So then I'd focus on just taking care of business, figuring it would free her from the burden of worrying about bills or cleaning or whatever. Then she'd bitch at me for being "a robot" who didn't care about her emotional distress. W…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/15 10:48 AM
9

I know that dread is suppose to instill a conditioned response (basically) and I want to make sure that she makes the connection between kiss (peck) and me backing away. Nope. This is wrong. Dread is not supposed to be operant conditioning. The sole purpose of Dread to prevent your wife from taking you from granted. That's it. Based on this post and your others, I don't think your wife has a particular problem with this. Does she try an overrule or sabotage your leadership of the household? Does…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/15 11:35 PM
5

She cried later that night and said she was concerned because we had always done things ‘together’ and she wants to go to a game with me too… I responded straight forward with – ‘it’s good for both of us to have friends and do stuff outside the house, you should too.’ She said I was her only friend she wants to hang out with.. This is what I feel has happened. I’ve been ‘friend-zoned’ by my own wife and she doesn’t think it’s a problem. Actually I think this is pretty much your key here. I think…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/15 09:49 AM
27

I don't see this as a reflection in the anger phase. It's a pretty common human response to inflicted pain, especially when struck in the head. When I bang my head against something or stub my toe badly, my gut reaction is to make a fist and slam it into my open palm and yell "FUCK!" With that said, I suppose on MRP we're not supposed to advise guys to jump right into divorce as an option, but I'm going to do that anyway. Because if your wife is using physical violence against you, she's playing…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 08:17 AM
4

This is going to happen. You've been with your wife long enough for her to establish some sort of "baseline" behavior. As you continue to internalize RP concepts, your behavior will shift, and this will be unsettling to her. A big part of the BSG is requiring your wife's validation for everything you do. Let's use your example for breakfast. It's possible you would have sought her approval before doing something like this. Hey, what do you think about breakfast with the kids? What do you think a…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/15 07:45 AM
15

Some examples... Compliance Shit Test: You're both watching TV, you get up to go to the bathroom. She says, "Hey. Bring me a glass of water." You grunt "OK" in response and open the bathroom door. She says, "no, get me the water first, you always take forever in there." You roll your eyes and grab a glass of water and bring it to her. She eagerly grabs it, then says, "No ice?" Disregard For Your Request Shit Test: You're going to see a concert and the opening act is one of your favorite bands fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 12:38 AM
1

It sounds like you anticipated that "what's this ridiculousness about" comment and prepared your frame accordingly. Nice work. Eventually you won't even need to anticipate it. You have shit to get done and you have to do it. No need to rationalize or apologize for it. No need for anyone else to do the same to you, either. Keep it up. Ignore the BSG. When you assert your frame like that, it's going to seem out-of character, and your wife is going to keep asking questions like "what's your deal?" …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 06:17 AM
2

The situation has already gone overt. Yeah, well, that was OPs mistake. He tried to issue a command without sufficient respect from his wife. He should not double-down on this by forcefully issuing even more commands. OP has set boundaries and expectations. Yes, he set overt expectations. But because he is in no position to enforce those expectations, he is going to have to let those expectations be violated without consequences. I get your point, it's bad to issue overt commands and then let th…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/15 02:11 AM
5

"Setting up the intention for sex" is a covert contract, and you need to stop doing this. Don't be one of those guys in /r/DeadBedrooms saying, "she's always talking about needing to be 'in the mood,' it was our anniversary and I cooked this great candlelight dinner and opened a $100 bottle of wine and we had a great time and then she still shot me down for sex." Do those things because you want to do them. Just assume there will be no sex afterwards. Would you still do it? Prepare a whole roman…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 10:11 PM
3

Hmm. Reading some of your responses, you keep mentioning "control issues" regarding sex. Stuff like this: I'll just let my hands run all over her body and if she shit tests me with 'what are you doing? I told you I wasn't in the mood' or something else, I just smirk and say I couldn't help myself. Quite frequently she re-initiates sex on her own a short time later. It may be worth exploring this the other way, and maybe trying to unlock some of these motivations behind her need for control. Two …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 09:49 PM
7

What kind of message does that send me?" Yeah, so, she doesn't give a shit about your feels. Have you proven yourself to be someone who she should give a shit about? Her actions indicate otherwise. Understand that the opposite of Dread Game is being taken for granted. That's all Dread Game is -- it's a way to emphasize that there are consequences that are taking you for granted. Withdrawing your company is clearly not a consequence she cares about yet, as you leave the room and she continues yak…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 06:06 PM
2

It's funny, you listed a lot of underrated things that guys overlook for SMV. I've seen a lot of my friends get some nice gains in the gym and wear the same baggy Polo shirts tucked into their dad pants. You seem pretty maxed out on SMV relative to your age/situation. That's the good news. The bad news is if that's not giving her spontaneous gina tingles, will anything? Your wife just seems like a person determined to be unhappy. I suspect this has something to do with her parents, but it doesn'…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 08:16 AM
0

It's all well and good to include RPW in this conversation, but I wish some redditors like /u/BluepillProfessor and /u/TheGreasyPole would shut the fuck up already. I started regularly posting here around the time they were banned, or whatever. From my perspective, that was because most RPW comments were: "Well in my marriage, I have a personal anecdote that is vaguely related and really not that helpful at all." "Despite the fact that I'm a woman and I'm incapable of deconstructing your problem…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 11:45 PM
12

This is fantastic. I lot of us grew up Blue Pill because he grew up in an environment where we developed some pretty serious codependent personality traits. Too much of our self-worth is based on the validation of others. As a result, this manifests in crippling insecurity. We're people-pleasers, and we like pleasing, and when people aren't pleased we have a mental meltdown. For guys like us, it's really easy to choke when you're swallowing the Red Pill. Every other post here is some guy recappi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 10:48 PM
11

Jesus fucking Christ, man. I mean this in the most constructive possible way when I tell you you need to learn how to shut the fuck up. I think you already recognize this, because you had "frame weakened" after pretty much everything that came out of your mouth. More specifically, here are some of my thoughts in response to your post. As I go she says, "I was pulling away because you were sweaty." Do you "look good naked"? Honest question. Not just "well I'm fit and in good shape for my age." Th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 09:55 PM
1

How is this... I want the OP to essentially say: "Look, this system where you spaz out over our kids, and I run around doing choreplay hoping you'll be less of a spaz in the hopes you actually want to have sex, is stupid. So we're going to both stop doing that." [and then presumably taking action like hiring a cleaning service] ... not consistent with this? What does work is not to explain or justify anything, but have clear expectations and enforce them with action. Gonna throw this out there. …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/15 09:40 AM
3

I've observed that women "pounce on weakness" when they fear the direction of their Captain. She went on and on about it and what I should do, etc. Are you giving your wife reasons to respect your command? In my first marriage, my ex-wife did this constantly. All I had to say was something like, "fuck, I'm dreading this meeting tomorrow with my boss." And she was off. I don't know why you don't just tell him you want a raise. You do twice as much work as everyone else there anyway. If he starts …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/15 08:35 AM
1

The thing is that the best way to communicate this is NOT to say overtly, but to act as if it doesn't exists and you are unaffected by it. Yeah... but, I guess, I see the OP as having a "logistical problem" in his marriage, not a "structural problem" that requires more fundamental RP solutions. His wife hamsters too much over chores and kids and isn't giving herself enough mental bandwidth to think about being a good wife and not just a good mother. Throw in some post-partum hormonal stuff (OP m…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 11:16 PM
4

she doesn't like that she is doing something while I am not My wife also hates this situation when I'm spending my time consuming something. If she's doing some household tasks while I'm watching TV, she can't help but make snarky comments. But if I'm doing literally anything else, even if it's 100% focused on me, she never gives me any crap. Because she knows what I'd say: I can't help you now, I'm in the middle of something. If you still need help, ask me later. It's like I'm wearing a sign th…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 03:58 AM
12

I tried not to justify myself and my behavior but I am still having a hard time with that. I've been considering posting something about two seeming contradictions in MRP. We talk a lot about "don't just talk, act." But then we also talk a lot about "nuking covert contracts," which requires plain and overt language. Wife: "Why are you acting like an asshole?" Husband: "So you consider this asshole behavior?" Wife: "You stopped helping me with chores. Then you wonder why I'm not in the mood for s…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 12:28 AM
3

So, in short. Pretty unalpha day. I see what you mean. When I have a day like where I'm playing chauffer and coaching little league and returning shit at Home Depot, I'll text my wife something like, "It's hot as hell today, gonna need a long shower after this. You down?" I see myself as harvesting "alpha seeds" (career, gym, hobbies, etc), and these texts are my way of "planting" those seeds. That tiniest bit of anticipation makes a big difference with my wife when I try and context-shift betwe…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/15 11:02 AM
1

Well, tough to answer without a little more detail to your situation. Depends on the "stressful circumstances" and what exactly you mean by "spiteful," for example. If you want, PM me and let's talk more in private. Would like to avoid hijacking the OPs comment thread.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/15 10:07 AM
2

If you legitimately made a mistake, own it. Unfortunately, some women will hamster some mistakes into an egregious disregard for their feelings, which is where you may be coming from. "Did you remember to buy some milk on your way home?"; "Oh crap, I forgot." And that's all the hamster needs to have her screaming that you never listening to her, ergo you don't care about her, ergo you're horrible. You're fogging approach depends on whether her hamster is driven by a general level of stress/anxie…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 10:03 PM
13

Hey /u/snowedinind -- it's me again. So, you may not be doing a very good job of fogging. Which is fine, this is one of the toughest skills to master (IMO, way harder than something like Agree/Amplify), and it sounds like you just started reading WISNIFG. The key to fogging allows you to project empathy without actually apologizing or enduring the burden of her emotions. Everything I'm reading about your wife sounds like a woman who is pissed off about something, and is frustrated her husband se…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/15 09:52 PM
1

Hey /u/TheGreasyPole, thanks for the references. But I guess I'm wary of any framework that is based on considering my wife an adversary that I need to "defeat." Not because I don't like to think of my wife as an adversary, and the word "adversary" gives me bad beta feels. But it's just limiting. I have my goals and my plans. I'm with a woman who has demonstrated she'll be very supportive as long as I'm following those plans and making progress on those goals. Yeah, if I stumble, she'll probably…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/15 10:24 PM
5

Personally I think the "athletics race" is a better analogy. Why? Because in this track meet called life, I'm not competing against anyone but myself. There's a good post currently on TRP's front page about "nobody cares if you lives or die." It's a somewhat dramatic (yet effective) way of saying, "you should always put yourself first, because nobody else will." And I'm fine with that, because like I said, the only thing I care about is running faster than I did before. That's what everything co…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/15 02:11 AM
4

I'm trying to formulate a strong case. Look OP, all the suggestions in the comments are good ones. But this probably only gets solved without lingering resentment if she accepts you're allowed to have some non-negotiable principles. You should feel comfortable in your marriage to say, "this isn't happening, end of conversation," especially in a situation like this. This isn't like a debate about whether you should accept a job transfer across the country, where there are pros and cons that can b…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/15 02:12 AM
9

Wow, looks like this was pretty well received. I'm relieved this wasn't perceived as a rigid taxonomy, which was my main concern in how I organized this. As a lot of you commented, it's possible for your marriage to transition through these archetypes, or combine elements of more than one. Thanks to everyone for reading (especially given this was so big of a wall of text, I needed to extend it into the comments), glad you guys got some value out of this. I hope to contribute more posts and comme…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/15 01:15 AM
37

3. The Captain and Her Husband: You're on your way to a double date with your wife and your friends. Your wife arranged the date, picked the restaurant, and made the reservation. She texted you twice that day to make sure you'd be home and ready on time, and made you change your shirt three times. Despite that, you were still ten minutes late, as your wife spent a full hour rummaging through her wardrobe and complaining "she looked fat in everything." You suggested she wear that sexy black dress…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/15 08:32 AM
2

Dude. I love this comment. Most of the posts here fall under two broad problem sets: "My wife constant gives me shit, picks fights with me, blames me for every negative emotion, etc." "My wife doesn't respect me enough to contribute to our relationship / household / etc in the ways that I'd like. We are doing all those things on her terms and not mine." But I kept thinking about sex, and how that was really part of both problem sets, so maybe this taxonomy was wrong. But you nailed it. Lack of s…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/15 03:36 AM
12

For what it's worth, I think you'd be getting more out of WISNIFG than MMSLP. Your wife is a very emotionally needy woman who doesn't hesitate to make you feel bad when you don't take responsibility for her feelings. The easiest way to handle these situations are techniques like Fogging and Negative Assertion and Negative Inquiry. She says that I told her that if she addresses me calmly and nicely that I will always listen. She says that because she just tried it and it didn't work, I must have …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/15 01:22 AM
25

This was my favorite part. “These are just facts. Men like youth. They like long hair. They like colour. They like slender, as well. Sorry. You’re going to have to lose weight and grow your hair and wear red if you want the silver foxes to see you.” The question is, should I be prepared to change? Flip the gender. Say a guy was told: "Women like a bright smile. They like a sharply-dressed guy. They like fit, as well. Sorry. You're going to have to hit the gym and upgrade your wardrobe and stop b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/15 10:30 AM
11

I wonder if your father's death accelerated your progress in accepting Outcome Independence. Such a painful and dramatic event must surely provide some perspective. Normally, your wife's shit tests would probably cause some sort of anxiety in you. She's upset. Why is she upset? I love her, I don't want her to be upset. What can I do to make her less upset? Apologize for something I didn't do? Sure, I'll do that. I don't like to but if she gets less upset then it's worth it. I wonder if your thou…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/15 03:05 AM
18

I'm going to try and break this down in very explicit terms, mostly because it's late and I'm too tired to think of good synonyms. You want to fuck your wife, but she's not fucking you. You can't do anything about that, though. Not directly, not in the ways you were lead to believe. Bottom line: your wife doesn't want to fuck you, because if she did, she'd be fucking you. You can't have a "talk." It's not just a matter of "communicating." This isn't a matter of, "oh, I didn't know it bothered yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 11:00 AM
2

You said you've seen therapist, so I would have imagined you would discussed some coping mechanisms. Conventional wisdom here is that you can't control other people's actions, you can only control how you react to them. You were dealt some shitty cards in your hand, and then made some decisions where you traded some shitty cards and ended up with others. You can't go back in the past. You can't make the deal just magically give you better cards. You can't take back your decision to accept some n…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/15 12:16 AM
2

Great article. The only times I've seen this situation work out is: The husband has a high prestige job, like a police officer. The husband has a respected public sector job, academia, or a non-profit. The husband has a "manly" blue collar job - plumber, electrician, construction, etc. The husband makes less money, but still upper middle class income on his own. The husband decided he valued free time/flexibility well before he met his wife, and is in some sort of job where be makes a lot of soc…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/15 05:10 PM
3

Too many people use "asshole" for "unintentionally inconsiderate." I'm self-employed and run a small consultancy. When I engage with a client, at some point I usually have to get in touch with some Important Person there. A C-level exec or a VP. So their administrative assistant sets up a call on our calendars. 30% of the time, the call is rescheduled with some advance notice. 40% of the time, the call is rescheduled like five minutes before. 20% of the time, the guy just never actually takes my…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/15 12:59 AM
2

Wish i could upvote this more. From the OP: With TRP awareness I started hitting the gym and lost a 1.5 stones in weight. Her SMV is an 8 I was a 6 but closer to 7 now with the weight loss and better hair/clothes. and I guess a big problem I have is she’s become the bread winner ( I used to be) and no matter how alpha I get this will always be a problem until not only do I earn as much as her but more so she can be a stay home wife. Getting in shape is great, but if you can't carry your own weig…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 02:46 AM
3

I recommend you read WISNIFG because this situation is exactly where you should deploy the "Fogging" technique. The winning move in a Shit Test is always "not to play," right? If you try and "win" the test, you're already conceding that you're operating in her frame where she can basically challenge you at will. Agree and Amplify is generally the best response to make it clear you're not playing. Comfort Tests aren't really any different. You pretty much never want to engage on the terrain your …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/15 01:36 AM
2

Too much talking and explaining yourself with that logic stuff women are repulsed by. Well, he's really explaining herself. But yeah, you're right. I try and give example dialogue in my comments because a lot of guys are looking for a prescriptive solution. But I missed the mark there.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 09:51 AM
5

I accused you of being a troll in an earlier comment. I'm now going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not just fucking us. My armchair psychologist read on this situation is as follows: A lot of your SMV is based on your income. The power dynamics in your relationship revolved a lot about that income. You had it, she didn't, so you were the Captain by default. If you didn't want to go out to dinner, you didn't go out to dinner. She sure as shit couldn't pay for it. But now s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 03:53 AM
2

I suppose it's an option, but my gut tells me she needs to accept this decision before action is taken. Well, that was my point in the original comment. She decided to keep your child in part-time preschool, and decided it was okay if you didn't come home early. She now regrets that decision. Her choices are, "change enrollment of kid to full-time preschool," which she doesn't want to do, or "deal with kid all afternoon without spouse's help," which she also doesn't want to do. She doesn't like …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 03:26 AM
4

OK. What's stopping you from just enrolling her full-time? "She's enrolled full-time. This is what we both need to maintain professional and family balance."
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 02:35 AM
9

Calling troll on this one. A guy is complaining about his hot, smart, professionally prestigious and rich wife, who fucks him all the time in creative ways, is merely "egalitarian" when it comes to their financial situations. Oh, and they both have a combined income of like $500K a year (if she's a general surgeon and he makes only marginally less than her). Seriously, who complains about shit like this: so I don’t even get the gratification of divorce raping her She’s a general surgeon so she’s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 02:29 AM
6

Unfortunately there's a bad convert contract going on here. You made it clear to your wife that you weren't going to come home early. Externally, she told you that was fine. Internally she was hamstering, "he won't do that because he knows I need his help in the afternoon." So you did what you said, and she's upset that you didn't hold up your end of the covert contract. Which, of course, is ridiculous. She even recognizes this to some extent, based on: She gave a snippy fine and I left and star…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/15 02:03 AM
7

I think there's more good than bad in this. Sounds like you didn't engage in her Shit Test and she dropped it pretty much right afterwards. In my experience, nagging comments about tablet/smartphone usage is basically about wanting more attention from her husband. It's kind of like, "we have two little kids, we barely have a free hour every weekend, so when we do is it really that hard for you to interact with me?" The BJ may have been her way of saying, "even if you want to just duck into the b…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/15 01:06 AM
3

I've referenced Captain/FO is almost every one of my comments. Personally, I think it's a great analogy. Here's why: Women don’t want to be TOLD that they’re “being included” The Captain/FO relationship should always be implicit. You should be and act like the unquestioned leader of your household. This is identical to pretty much every other Red Pill technique I've seen. You don't announce you're increasing your value, you just do it. You don't announce you're considering Dread Game, you just d…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/15 08:59 PM
3

When your woman responds with snide or condescending remarks, how do you deal with it? This is the wrong question. A respectful relationship should not have snide or condescending remarks. Nobody's perfect, of course. But if you're dealing with a regular stream of snide remarks, I don't think an arsenal of comebacks is going to solve the fundamental problems. Snide remarks are a sign of disrespect. They're insults. Someone that insults you is not someone that cares about you and cares that you h…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/15 05:54 AM
1

Had a talk about it one evening and she agreed that it is a good idea to have dinner a bit later. OK, so she agrees on the merits. She is just incapable of executing any self-control. This is very fixable. Talk to her again, and just make it very clear that if she doesn't accommodate your wishes, you're out. You want to cook a meal and share it with your family. You don't want to eat 60% of a meal by yourself because she's already taken the 40% that was ready at 5:30pm and stuffed the kid's face…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/15 12:43 AM
1

That's what she brought up tonight as her example of how I treat her like shit, and she kept harping on it. That's why I was convinced it was a shit test. Hey man, all's well that ends well. In your original description it sounded like she was just sputtering without being able to give any actual examples (even trivial ones), which is why I suspected it wasn't just another garden-variety shit test. In your previous posts you mentioned the cup in the sink, and her mom's bags. If she's hung up on …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:52 AM
16

Hey there, I've been following your previous posts. Based on your description of events, this sounded like a Comfort Test. Partly because things have been going remarkably well, partly because I've been so busy with work and the gym. MAP, baby. Well, good that your goals for the work and gym, but how were things going with your wife beforehand? You may have transitioned to, "I'm so relieved my wife doesn't give me shit anymore and I don't respond like a beta bitch." That is definitely important.…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 02:10 AM
8

I'm going to express what may be an unpopular opinion here. I'm hoping this can lead to a good discussion and not eating a lot of downvotes. I guess we'll see. You basically have to accept the fact that you’re being used—you’re never going to get more out it than you put into it. The duration of any relationship is contingent upon your continued usefulness above all else —you can only get better, you’re not allowed to slip and devolve. This is not a "serious decision." This is not even a decisio…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/15 11:23 PM
2

Nice man! If she was that responsive to you asserting yourself, then this be a lot easier than I thought. I really expected a lot more hamstering/resistance. Just reiterate that 7PM is a hard deadline. You want time to play with your kids, not just shove food in their face and chuck them in bed. If she doesn't get home in time to give you the family time you want, she doesn't get your help putting them to bed.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/15 01:58 AM
2

The OP didn't give us much context on previous discussions he had with his wife and her reactions. So I chose to first see this as a failure of competence rather than a failure of fundamental respect. I think that's a better approach. She may have every intent to get the kids home on time, she just... sucks at it. You could say, "well her failure to execute means she doesn't respect him." But I don't think that's true. My dentist tells me I need to floss more. I agree with that. I respect his op…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/15 07:46 PM
4

Thanks man. It ended up being a lot more long-winded than I thought, but this is how I deconstruct things in real life. Several years ago, I had a real problem with "losing frame." I was always too stubborn to ever truly be "beta," but I never really had any command of any situations in my personal life. In the past, if I was in jessalon's shoes, I would have absolutely had some stupid fight with my wife. I'd say something like, "why the fuck can't you just come home at a decent hour?" and then …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/15 08:06 AM
25

This isn't a shit-test, this is just being inconsiderate. Here's my proposed solution: Get the car seats. Regardless of this, you need the option to be able to transport your kids without your wife. Imagine a Captain who somehow wasn't able to tell Engineering to go to warp speed, and had to depend on the First Officer to run down to Engineering every time and relay that order. Even if you had zero difficulties in your marriage, it's too logistically useful to have two vehicles to transport your…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/15 02:49 AM
13

A few thoughts. It may have helped to explain your errands. When a Captain belays a request from the First Officer, he may want to explain why. Not always. If she wanted you to clean but you had plans to watch football with friends, it's complete unnecessary to say, "well I already made these plans, and I don't get to see them that often, and blah blah blah." But if it's a logistical coordination issue, then it could be as simple as, "D E F is a higher priority than your X Y Z." Some women may s…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/15 10:31 AM
1

Been following your saga. Definitely keep posting, it gives me a lot of things to chew on for my own marriage. So as other people have indicated, this will probably be a lot bumpier than before. Last time she got hung up on needing you to apologize for not thanking her for something you didn't ask her to do (cleaning your cup). This time, the hamster's going to have a lot more fuel for ideas that you're "inconsiderate" and "selfish." So it may be awhile before it tires itself out. I think you al…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/14 12:52 AM
7

Long time lurker of /r/marriedredpill, but I just created an account because I may have some advice that will be useful to you, and wanted to respond. So I was in a similar situation as you, and I actually had a whole set of paragraphs here about what helped me and my wife. But I deleted them because it may not be 100% applicable to your situation. The key was my wife was deeply unhappy about being overweight. I didn't get a lot of "do I look fat?" shit-tests because my answer was irrelevant. Sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/14 12:01 AM
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