Proof she needs a captain.

jacktenofhearts · 2015-08-06T09:22:10+00:00

It sounds like your SIL didn't branch swing to a Chad, but a slimy beta who could pass all the Comfort Tests that her "prime alpha" husband was failing. Chad Thundercock is great at spinning plates, but any woman married to him would cheat on him too. On a long enough timeline with no Comfort, it'll eventually be too tempting for a woman to fall into the arms of one of her adoring beta orbiters.

"He does not want to go to church, swears more, drinks more, is depressed and overwhelmed"

The only real key words there are "overwhelmed" and "depressed." A variant of the "drunk captain" is the "man-child" and this is how she is describing you. Unable to moderate some vices like a teenager, and also unable to control your emotions and lead a responsible life. So yes, she very well does not find that attractive. Very few women do.

If you stop drinking in isolation, very little will change. She may be less irritated with you, but that won't get her gina tingles.

If you stop (or cut back) on drinking because it interferes with you achieving objectives in your MAP, that will be very attractive to her. Overwhelmed guys don't achieve key life goals. Depressed guys don't achieve key life goals. Heavy drinks don't achieve key life goals. She wants a leader. Some leaders do swear and drink, but they also have a lot of objectively high value qualities. This is what you need to develop.

Think correlation, not causation. Your wife wants you to step up and lead. She thinks drinking and swearing is not something good leaders do. But if you just stop drinking and swearing that doesn't make you a good leader. They are correlated, but not causal.

Or to put it another way - it's all well and good to cut down on drinking. But what are you going to do instead? It's the answer to that question that will determine whether you're the Captain she's looking for.

theultmatecad · 2015-08-06T10:36:00+00:00

|I have in my possesion, a text conversation that took place between my wife and her sister. This is BluePill insecurity at its best

I always tell men to read their girls texts and emails in the beginning. It makes the pill go down clean. No way you can hamster away this:

"a 'block' around having sex with me."

You lost attraction. Happened to me too.. dont get mad, get busy.

You know what to do. If not, listen to /u/Kill_Your_Ego:

You one of us dumb blue pillers and you got married with today's tyrannical feminist laws? I'm sorry. You think your wife might be starting an emotional affair?

Completely ignore her. Get your ass into the gym. Hire a personal trainer and have him teach you to deadlift, squat, bench press, overhead lift, and start doing push ups and chin ups every time your mind starts to wander. Go download myfitnesspal and make your diet perfect. Stop eating garbage.

Ignore your wife. You are better then her. That's it. You're so much better then her because you're a man. She was born with her potential. You create yours. And your wife ain't shit.

Get back into a hobby. Or find a new one. Hell go get yourself a dog and go to training classes and take that guy out on walks. Meetup.com has all kinds of dog related groups. And they are filled with women who just moved to your state and they want to meet you so you can fuck them.

Then start to buy new clothes. Make changes. Read books. Learn new things. Make your life awesome. Not your marriage. Not some girls life. Your life. This is your life. You are hanging out with yourself every single second of every single day. Your girl ain't shit dude. But you are. And she draws her value from you.

Now let's all get some sleep. Eight hours a night. Gotta let that mind and body heal up. You've got a big day ahead of you.

nrthrnwoodsman · 2015-08-06T12:01:41+00:00

I can testify from my own experience: I swear regularly, drink whenever I feel like it, go to church if I feel like it BUT don't whine, complain, act overwhelmed or sit around depressed. The result: my wife is generally a happy woman , puts out regularly, works really hard to please me by cooking, attentive to my needs etc... However , when I used to ( even 6 months ago) talk about my challenges with my business to her, act overwhelmed, go into depression mode, she would bitch incessantly about my swearing, drinking,lack of church going etc... The point: A woman will overlook the minor things when her man is taking control of his emotions and needs in the major things. If he fails to do this - suddenly the minor things become the major problems that threaten to derail the relationship

ZeeyardSA · 2015-08-06T09:03:57+00:00

About the going to church thing I don't know

I used to be a Practising muslim staunch(It was one of the things that my wife said she liked about me)...Now not at all..However My behavior around the house has changed..I fix shit that breaks immediately...I have started lifting consistently and eating more..I dont waste time on shit like games and social media...Initially she used to bitch and moan about me no longer going to the mosque etc etc but now she does not GAF...She performs her prayers and I let her be..I am a real man and a great father to my kids...That is what really matters...Sex was never an issue for me but she has started initiating more these days....

dandar4600 · 2015-08-06T11:58:37+00:00

I like going to the church (Catholic.) Simple fact is that it teaches you accountability and compassion. Basically it's old school and in this day and age it's a good example to set for your kids.

Drinking is your failure. Sure having a social drink or few is fine, but losing control and getting shitfaced is not. You don't want her to have to take care of you cause you're drunk. That was one of my failures before TRP.

Your wife's sister is a fucking psycho. Talking about demons and exorcising your house? Yep, a fucking psycho.

Regarding guy she is married to. If he's controlling then he's no alpha. Nothing TRP teaches you is about controlling your woman. He may look like an alpha but isn't behaving as one.

If you're giving off an appearance of drunk, depressed and overwhelmed then this is your wife's reality. Perception is reality and you need to work on changing it ASAP. Depression might be about the anger stage. Work on it.

mrpCamper · 2015-08-06T13:02:46+00:00

Two things bro. One, Don't worry about reading her texts. You learned important lessons from them that will help you on this journey. So, it's a good thing. Two, I'm an IT Executive and I was always dealing with people not finishing projects. Finally, I said fuck that and created a culture of finishing projects. "What do we do? We finish projects." We don't do IT, we don't code, we finish projects? Amazing what that mindset will do. Don't start shit when something else if unfinished. You're a finisher!

NickCiufi · 2015-08-06T14:55:53+00:00

Church-goer here. In my experience, women who make a big deal about their man going to church feel some level of social pressure to have a "godly" marriage. Usually they get this stuff from the pastor or other married people in attendance at the church. I don't think it's much of a stretch to call that a comfort test. It might be worth reminding your wife that, as Billy Sunday said, going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

Title	Proof she needs a captain.
Author	The_Litz
Upvotes	0
Comments	22
Date	August 6, 2015 7:31 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fz8zl/proof_she_needs_a_captain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/proof-she-needs-a-captain.201285 https://theredarchive.com/post/201285

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